Question of the day: Tues. Nov.29 2011

snake_lady

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Good morning folks, hope everyone has a good day.

Todays question relates to manners.

Do you hold the door open for the person coming out of the store behind you?

what would/do you do, if you hold the door open for someone and they just rush by without a thank you or acknowledgement of your kindness? Do you say something, or just ignore it?
 

resqchick

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I always hold the door for people coming in with me, and out with me. If someone rushes past, rudely, like they are the queen of Sheba, and I was expected to hold the door...I usually say, VERY LOUDLY, "YOU'RE WELCOME". 

Most times it just serves to amuse other people, but I know they heard me, and maybe next time they won't be rude. 
 
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snake_lady

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I always hold the door for people coming in with me, and out with me. If someone rushes past, rudely, like they are the queen of Sheba, and I was expected to hold the door...I usually say, VERY LOUDLY, "YOU'RE WELCOME". 

Most times it just serves to amuse other people, but I know they heard me, and maybe next time they won't be rude. 

Hahahaha. You beat me to it, that is exactly what I do.

or I will alter the saying to "a thank you would be nice".

I just think that I'm doing a kindness for someone and if they can't even be bothered to give me a nod, or a look to show thanks, then I gently remind them of their manners. A simple thanks would suffice.
 

libby74

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I always hold the door for people, and make it a point to open the door for older folks, women with little ones, people with their hands full, etc.

I wouldn't say anything to somone who didn't thank me, it's not a big deal.
 

Winchester

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I always hold the door for people coming in with me, and out with me. If someone rushes past, rudely, like they are the queen of Sheba, and I was expected to hold the door...I usually say, VERY LOUDLY, "YOU'RE WELCOME". 

Most times it just serves to amuse other people, but I know they heard me, and maybe next time they won't be rude. 
Sometimes that's what I do, too! I always hold the door open for others, but if they don't acknowledge, I'll say, "YOU'RE WELCOME" loudly. One woman did turn around one time and say to me, "I"m sorry, that was rude of me....thank you."

Off topic a little bit.......when I'm in the store and somebody walks directly in front of me, I'll say "EXCUSE ME!" just so they know they were rude. It's amazing how many store employees walk right in front of people!
 

momto3boys

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I always hold the door for people, and make it a point to open the door for older folks, women with little ones, people with their hands full, etc.

I wouldn't say anything to somone who didn't thank me, it's not a big deal.
Me too!  I doubt I would say anything....no sense sweating the small stuff!
 
 

3catsn1dog

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I always hold doors for people. I even wait if I see someone coming.behind me amd.hold the door for them. I don't ever.think I've never had someone say thank you but I do get funny looks because I look so young anddress in tee shirts and jeans so I think its just weird to some older people to see someone who looks like me holding a door open or waiting for them and holding.the door.
 

-_aj_-

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to be totally honest it depends what mood im in I usually hold the door open if someone is going in a shop nd im going out 
 

resqchick

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Sometimes that's what I do, too! I always hold the door open for others, but if they don't acknowledge, I'll say, "YOU'RE WELCOME" loudly. One woman did turn around one time and say to me, "I"m sorry, that was rude of me....thank you."

Off topic a little bit.......when I'm in the store and somebody walks directly in front of me, I'll say "EXCUSE ME!" just so they know they were rude. It's amazing how many store employees walk right in front of people!
Another pet peeve about rudeness...those who just STOP abruptly right in front of me. "Honestly, it's ok, I wasn't looking at that item, I'd rather look at your handsome comb over!"
 
 

Willowy

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It's incredibly rude to correct other peoples' manners in public, particularly in such a passive-aggressive way. That's much ruder than not saying thank you for holding the door. I think people have forgotten that manners are about treating people in a civilized way, not expecting little formalities from strangers and getting snippy when they don't. It is NOT civilized to yell/mutter/etc. things in their direction when they don't behave the way you want.

If somebody is in the general vicinity when I open a door, I'll hold it for them. I have never noticed whether they say thank you or smile or anything. I don't expect an acknowledgement; I'm just not going to close a door on their toes. I try to remember to say something when someone else holds a door for me, but I probably don't always remember. Glad everybody has been more polite than some people evidently feel entitled to be.
 

feralvr

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I always hold the door if I know someone is behind me :nod:. If they say nothing - that is alright with me, doesn't bother me. But I always thank someone holding the door for me :D :clap:
 

MoochNNoodles

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I hold the door as long as I see someone close behind me.  If they don't say thank you I just ignore it.  But I try to be polite.  A lot of people have been helpful to me pushing a stroller by myself; so I appreciate it even more now.
 

kookycats

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We always hold the door for someone.     When they don't acknowledge it Paul always says "you're welcome".  I usually just ignore it if they don't say anything.    Most of the time when people hear him say "you're welcome" you can see they're embarrassed for not saying thank you.   
 

ruthyb

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Yep,I always try and hold the door open for people,unless I have my hands full.If they don't say thank you then that's their problem
 x
 

my4llma

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I always hold the door for the next person. Most people do say "Thank you". The ones that don't, just ignore.
 

x2006nkg

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I always hold the door for people, and if they don't acknowledge it or say thank you I don't really think anything of it. 

I lived in South Korea for a year and over there no one holds the door for you. I never thought much of holding the door for people until I lived over there, where even if you were literally 1 inch behind someone they would still slam the door in your face. I still always help the door for people over there and since it wasn't customary there I always got strange looks 
 
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snake_lady

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We all have our own pet peeves, quirks, etc.

I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to be acknowledged for going out of your way to do something kind for another person.

Personally, if anyone helps me out in anyway, it comes natural to want to thank them.... there's nothing to "forget", it's a second nature to show some gratitude for me..... I find it quite humbling actually, when I've been assisted by someone whom I may be inconveniencing. I try to reverse that for others, and definately don't think there is an issue with making a statement in public of "a thank you would be nice" providing I am not yelling/muttering/being aggressive/etc.

It is after all, a free country in which we are able to speak when we wish to.

sidetrack: my daughters are doing something in school tomorrow. They are doing a vow of silence for 24hrs. It is to show support for those whom are NOT allowed to talk, voice their opinions, stand up for themselves, etc. I think its great..... dunno if either will make the 24hrs of not talking but.... I hope the best :)
 
It's incredibly rude to correct other peoples' manners in public, particularly in such a passive-aggressive way. That's much ruder than not saying thank you for holding the door. I think people have forgotten that manners are about treating people in a civilized way, not expecting little formalities from strangers and getting snippy when they don't. It is NOT civilized to yell/mutter/etc. things in their direction when they don't behave the way you want.
 
 

starryeyedtiger

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I always hold the door open for others to be polite; most people say thank you and are nice. I always think it's nice when others hold the door for me, so I try to treat others the way I want to be treated. :)
 

Willowy

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[quote name="Snake_Lady" ] I try to reverse that for others, and definately don't think there is an issue with making a statement in public of "a thank you would be nice" providing I am not yelling/muttering/being aggressive/etc.

It is after all, a free country in which we are able to speak when we wish to.[/quote]

Of course anyone is free to behave however they want, and to say whatever they want. But to call someone else out for being rude by being rude oneself rather defeats the purpose of promoting civility. Miss Manners would swoon :lol3:.

It's no different than telling the people at the next table to use their napkins or the proper fork. If you aren't their mother, it's rude to correct their manners.
 

resqchick

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Of course anyone is free to behave however they want, and to say whatever they want. But to call someone else out for being rude by being rude oneself rather defeats the purpose of promoting civility. Miss Manners would swoon
.
It's no different than telling the people at the next table to use their napkins or the proper fork. If you aren't their mother, it's rude to correct their manners.

But it's not the same. I haven't done anything polite for the people at the next table. I think if more people remembered their manners (and I don't mean what fork to use) just the please and thank you words, others would be more likely to do more nice things for others. 
 
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