Gracie needs vibes.....

Oh wow!  Sending lots of love & light your way! Stay strong furmama!

Hi all thanks for checking in, and for all the vibes... I got home last evening to a very sick little girl
I don't really feel like talking much... it is depressing really.... She is very very sick, and I don't know what to do here.... Since last night I have just been loving and nursing her 24x7. I have also adjusted her medication once with her vet....
I will give her some time and see if she responds to the medications - I will not leave town and leave her behind as sick as she is.... Looks like I'll be home for about a month now.... I can't imagine the thought of making the decision of letting her go, but the way she is right now, is no way to live. She has basically crashed. I think all those years of neglect has finally taken a toll on her heart
Please, send all the vibes you can our way..... she can take them all and then some....
I love my little girl so much

Carolina, I am SO sorry. :heart3: Gracie couldn't have a better meowmy. I know how hard this is on you, and feeling helpless is the WORST. And I speak from long experience. :nod: All you can do is focus on what you CAN do. Right now, just make her as comfortable as you can, think as positively as you can, send as much light and love her way as you can muster despite how you feel... and KNOW that you saved her life, and have given her the love, care, and pampering she deserves as the Sr. cranky old lady she is. :lol3:

I am so sorry to see this, I was of course hoping for better news. Whatever you do for her will be the right thing, it is only because of you that she is here now, and has had such a lovely happy year.

Many prayers and vibes for our dear dear Gracie, and for you too.

:heart3:

Carolina, I am just so very, very sorry, sweetie Gracie has been so well loved and cared for since you adopted her a year ago and couldn't have a better meowmy than you :heart3:. I am keeping you and Gracie very close to my heart right now. Massive vibes that she will respond to the medications and turn the corner over the next day. I am also praying for there to be no cancer. I know it is so much bad news all at once about Gracie's health, but you are doing all you can and she knows this and loves you just as much as you love her. Truckloads of vibes for Gracie tonight She still has a good chance to pull through this

You've been Gracie's guardian angel - without you she wouldn't have had the past happy and healthy year. I'm really, really sorry to read this bad news and of course am sending mega that she pulls through.

Carolina, I'm so very sorry your sweet little girl is so sick. This is heartbreaking news. I'm sending much love and warm hugs to you and many, many heartfelt prayers for Gracie.

Carolina, I know how hard these days are on you waiting to see if Gracie will respond to the medication.... sending another round of mega mega vibes to Gracie.

Gracie needs all vibes, prayers, energy she can get.... She is not doing well...
Here is the bottom line - I am going to make this short, as it is very painful for me.... I have been crying all morning, and it is hard to write about it....
She is having a hard time breathing at this point. She doesn't have a long time to respond to the meds, only 4-5 days to make some progress, any progress at all.... then we can give her another 2 weeks and see.... but these 4-5 days are critical.
As much as I want Gracie to stay, I am doing this for her, and she comes first..... This is not for me - I do not want her to stay for me.... Because I don't want to deal with it..... It is all about Gracie now.... She deserves a wonderful life full of happiness and love.... and I do want to give her a chance to fight, and I will fight with her as much as she wants to... But I will not put her through suffering in vain - that I can not selfishly do.
She is calm, alert, eating small meals throughout the day.... That is the good part.
The bad part is: She is now breathing through her mouth, and at times, her cough fits get so bad, she gasp for air so loudly it is painful to watch. She had a crisis this morning when I gave her medicine treat that I thought I was going to lose her. Imagine you are under the water gasping for air, and filling your lungs with water instead - that's what it must be for her.
If she walks to the litterbox, she has to sit down on it, before peeing as she has no energy to get up.... She is not lethargic - she has her head up, and is moving.... she just has no energy due to her breathing and her heart is not pumping enough blood.
I had a long chat with her vet this morning - he does think she has a chance because of how she responded to the meds while in the office....
She came home on once a day diuretics, yesterday they tripled the doasage.... She will be on 3x a day for 5 days, then if she responds to it, 2x a day for maintenance.
The heart medication was also doubled today to 2x a day.
He told me to not give her anymore treats, and just hide the meds on her wet food from now on to prevent cough fits.
While I have been talking this, she has moved places a few times.... and has kept her head up the whole time. She is still watching the kitties and doesn't look like she has given up yet.
Purring and talking induces fits, so she doesn't do that anylonger.

I am not sure if she understands me, but I have been telling her howm much I love her, and that she doesn't need to stay for me..... But we will put up the best of fights if she wants to... and that she will have the best life if she wants to stay.... I will do this for her..... :heart3:
I have also made calls in case of emergency..... If she goes downhill and I have to let her go during the weekend.... I want her to be surrounded by people she loves, and not suffering in a cold and scary place.... They are on call for us....
Please continue to send us your vibes.... She can use them all.... For now I will continue to fight with her.....

jcat said:

You've been Gracie's guardian angel - without you she wouldn't have had the past happy and healthy year. I'm really, really sorry to read this bad news and of course am sending mega

that she pulls through.

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Yes, same here.  More vibes coming your way

How is she this morning? 

She will be on 3x a day for 5 days, then if she responds to it, 2x a day for maintenance.
The heart medication was also doubled today to 2x a day.

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That's exactly how it's been with Jamie. Same frequency. The first week was bad, with multiple vet visits the first few days, but he was stable by the end of the week, so :cross::cross::cross::cross::cross: that it'll be the same for Gracie, and you can buy some more time for her. You're both in my thoughts.

Gracie can count on my vibes and prayers and all the love I have to spare. I'm positive she understands you, and it sounds to me like she wants to fight still. She will let you know if it becomes too difficult and she would rather have release., and you will understand her, as she understands you.

Love and hugs for you both, I know it must be terrible for you, to watch her struggle.

Gracie :heart3:
Carolina

I'm so sorry...you must have been posting while I was trying to post (wondered why I was having problems).  Since Jcat has been thru this, and Jamie is still with us, I'm thinking positive! 

for you.  I know how difficult this is. 

jcat said:

She will be on 3x a day for 5 days, then if she responds to it, 2x a day for maintenance.
The heart medication was also doubled today to 2x a day.

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That's exactly how it's been with Jamie. Same frequency. The first week was bad, with multiple vet visits the first few days, but he was stable by the end of the week, so :cross::cross::cross::cross::cross: that it'll be the same for Gracie, and you can buy some more time for her. You're both in my thoughts.

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Thank you Tricia This gives me so much hope.... Her vet, which is Bugsy's vet, is a wonderful vet, and I trust him like no other really.... He called me today first thing in the morning and we had a very open conversation.... He would never ever put her through suffering in vain.... and he does think she has a fighting chance.... so we are fighting.... nonetheless, it is the hardest fight I have ever battled, so far

otto said:

Gracie can count on my vibes and prayers and all the love I have to spare. I'm positive she understands you, and it sounds to me like she wants to fight still. She will let you know if it becomes too difficult and she would rather have release., and you will understand her, as she understands you.
Love and hugs for you both, I know it must be terrible for you, to watch her struggle.
Gracie :heart3:
Carolina

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Thank you

Thinking of you, Carolina :heart3: I know this is breaking your heart and just know many prayers are coming your way this morning......

Gracie - you are a very, very special girl, and SOOOOOO loved.... I am holding you very, very, very close to my heart. :rub::rub::rub::rub::rub::rub::rub::rub:

How's Gracie feeling today?

I don't know....The answer is I don't know.... I don't know if she is getting better or worst.... And I just feel like I am torturing this little girl I just hope and pray this is for a good cause, because she is suffering, and I don't want her to suffer
Today she had somewhat less crisis as far as coughing goes, but she still had some - bad. Waking up was awful... Her morning was not as bad as yesterday though....
She then had a crisis around noon when she made too much of an effort to poop (and nothing came out).... And another one just now..... They last over 2 minutes.... just pulling and pulling air..... excruciating to watch.
She has been breathing through her mouth since yesterday It is labored.... loud.... I can hear her from the other room
Today she lost her appetite. It has been extremely hard to feed her - anything. She also stopped drinking.... She doesn't understands why her mouth is so dry, and sometimes thinks something is inside of it.... she jerks her head and tries to take what is bothering her in her mouth with her paws.... there is nothing there, just saliva..... Her vet had told me that one of the dangers of doing Lasix (the diuretics) 3x a day was the loss of appetite.... which is not good considering her liver issues.....
I can not syringe feed her because the stress of it causes cough fits, and it can put her into a cardiac arrest.
She is no longer eating her medicine treats - I had to pill her today for the first time in her life..... It takes way too much energy out of her to eat the treats....
If she goes to the little box, she feels like she ran a marathon, so she just lays in there.... doesn't do anything then I pick her up and put her in her blanket....
She hasn't been peeing much, I am not sure where this fluid from the lungs and heart is going.... if the Lasix is even working.....
She spent a few hours in the oxygen tank today - she was perky, and looked great while in there..... but she can't live inside a tank.....
I just feel like cr*p, honestly.... I don't know what to do..... She is alert, and might be getting better in some things - the cough intensity, and all.... but I feel I am torturing her, and I don't know if this is even possible of going anywhere..... I don't know if she has given up either.... I don't know why I am torturing her.... What right do I have to do this?
I just feel like a horrible, horrible person - damned if I do, and damned if I don't....
Gracie :heart3:

Carolina, Gracie will let you know when she's had enough, and you will know it. :heart3: I'm sure Tricia will let you know what it was like with Jamie during this time, but it seems to me you really have no choice, hun. You have to see if she can make it through these next few days. She's obviously starting to respond to the diuretics or her coughing would be worse than it has been. I am SO sorry she's not eating, and pawing at her dry mouth... what about taking her in the bathroom and filling it with steam? Maybe it would help her mouth not feel so dry? :dk:

I know she's uncomfortable. I know she's lethargic. I know she doesn't understand why she's uncomfortable and doesn't feel well, and her labored breathing must be torture for both of you. But if you don't give her these few days to respond, you'll always be left wondering. And if she lays down and gives up - if she looks at you with that look - I'm sure you'll know it Carolina. I think if you're wondering, then SHE hasn't told you she's ready yet.

And no, she can't live in an oxygen tent. But for an hour - or several hours - a day, she sure can, if it helps her get over this hump in treatment. :nod:

:heart3: :heart3: :heart3:

Those are for you.

:rub: Those are for Gracie. :heart3:

Oh No, Carolina, I'm so sorry you are going through all that, I'm so sorry Gracie is so sick.  I understand perfectly how you feel, what to do? It happened to me with both my kitties, I felt like I was torturing them , but in my case, it was clear that there was no hope, but I don't know if that is the case with Gracie.  It is just so hard to see them suffer like that.  I just pray to God that she gets better, here are my  vibes

Hugs!  Tammy

LDG said:

Carolina, Gracie will let you know when she's had enough, and you will know it. :heart3: I'm sure Tricia will let you know what it was like with Jamie during this time, but it seems to me you really have no choice, hun. You have to see if she can make it through these next few days. She's obviously starting to respond to the diuretics or her coughing would be worse than it has been. I am SO sorry she's not eating, and pawing at her dry mouth... what about taking her in the bathroom and filling it with steam? Maybe it would help her mouth not feel so dry? :dk:
I know she's uncomfortable. I know she's lethargic. I know she doesn't understand why she's uncomfortable and doesn't feel well, and her labored breathing must be torture for both of you. But if you don't give her these few days to respond, you'll always be left wondering. And if she lays down and gives up - if she looks at you with that look - I'm sure you'll know it Carolina. I think if you're wondering, then SHE hasn't told you she's ready yet.
And no, she can't live in an oxygen tent. But for an hour - or several hours - a day, she sure can, if it helps her get over this hump in treatment. :nod:
:heart3: :heart3: :heart3:
Those are for you.
:rub: Those are for Gracie. :heart3:

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My thoughts, exactly. Are you talking to her? Telling her what's going on, and why? Cats understand way more than we realize. Tell her everything, including your doubts about whether you are doing the right thing. She will understand. And she WILL tell you, if she's had enough. And you will listen with your heart and understand and know. If you are still in doubt, then, I agree with Laurie, if you aren't sure, then she hasn't asked you to let her go.

Love and hugs to you and Gracie, Carolina.