Vibes for my Tolly please - Page 6  

Tolly wants to go. He still has an appointment on the schedule this morning for 10 :20 and I have promised him he can go join his beloved Bibbs and beloved Ootay at that time.

One of the dangers of draining the fluid is kidney failure. I'm pretty sure Tolly has gone into kidney failure. Tolly spend the night lying next to the water bowl. Even after I put a soft cushion on the floor next to him, next to the water bow,l he wouldn't use it. He stayed on the floor.

Last night before I went to bed I carried him down to the litter box and he peed. He wouldn't lie on me when I read on the couch, he just wanted to be near the water bowl. This morning as soon as I got out of bed I again carried him down to the litter box to pee. When I brought him back up I put him on his shelf to watch the birds have breakfast, but he somehow jumped down (when I wasn't looking) and has gone back to the water bowl.

He wants to go and I won't keep him any longer. I'm pretty sure he's not in pain, he's not suffering. But he's just tired of it all. I'm trying very hard not to feel badly that I kept him with me this extra day. I just didn't know, I felt I should give him a chance, and try the draining, at least once you know? I hope he can forgive me for making him wait.

Someone said something about Tolly hiding his illness from me for so long, to spare me, and that is what he did. He must have known there was nothing that could be done so he spared me. How strange that last week before he filled up was one of his most active cheerful playful weeks ever. Remember how I kept remarking on how much he was playing with his Pink Fur Mice (before I knew he was sick)? I guess he was giving me this happy memory.

Sorry to sound so ....gloomy. I want to be cheerful for him this morning, so I will play with Queen Eva until it's time to go. That always cheers everyone up!

Mods, please do not close this thread yet. Tolly is not gone yet, and people may still want to reply. When I get back from sending him on, I will post to that fact.

The only thing saving me is the deep knowledge that he WANTS to go, and that he will be with his Bibbs and Ootay, it will be a happy event for him. And that is as it should be.

Tolly has gone to be with his Bibbs and his Ootay. Though I am shattered to be without him, I know he must be in complete Bliss and I can't begrudge him that.



Oh no, oh my Tolly, oh how can I bear it?

PSTolly began purring this morning, as I lay on the floor with him and told him over and over how much I loved him and reassured him again and again that I would be okay. He purred and purred, not his usual purr with lilts and trills and crescendos, but a calm steady comfort purr. As I held him in my arms at the vet he continued this comforting purr, right up until the very moment he fell asleep from the sedative. The injection was only a final step, he had said his good bye, comforting me to the very end.

So like him.