I lost Pickle today

eris348

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My lovely boy, best known for sleeping in ridiculous positions like the one in my photo.

He was 4 years and 9 months old.  I was away over the weekend, visiting my Dad, but my other half was here, and Picks was perfectly normal - humping M's leg (he has been done, but he does indulge in limb humping - did indulge), sleeping on M's feet, barrelling down the stairs for dinner.

Yesterday, M was at work, and Pickle seemed sluggish.  He was asleep, not unusual for him during the morning, until at 11.30 I noticed that he had a full bowl of food.  Very unusual for him - even more so when I checked with M, and he hadn't given Pickle breakfast.  It was his dinner from the night before.  Picks loved his food, and was always jumping up waiting for each meal.

He spent yesterday flopped on the floor, so I made an appointment with the vet for him for 9am today.  At 3.45 yesterday afternoon, I touched him and he was cold to the touch.  I called a cab (I don't drive), and got him to the vet.

His breathing was accelerated, he was breathing through his abdomen rather than his chest, and his temperature was a few degrees below normal.  The vet kept him in for tests.  An hour later, after an xray, they called and told me he had cardiomyopathy.

They put him in an oxygen tent and gave him some diuretics to take the fluid off his chest.  He initially responded well, but I got a call at 7.30 this morning to tell me he had died during the night.  It was peaceful, apparently - like someone would drift off to sleep in their favourite arm chair.

I love him so much, I expected to have him for at least another 10 years.  He was so young, and he has been with me through some hard times - the separation of my parents, and we moved from Bucks to Hampshire to live with my partner together.  My partner, a dog person through and through, sobbed this morning as he dug Pickle's grave.  We have buried him in his favourite spot in the garden (he had even flattened the grass for us), in a cardboard box that he adopted as his favourite bed (depsite having a three-tiered 4 foot high extravaganza with 5 scratching posts and 16 balls - my other half went a bit crazy with Kitty City in January!), a blanket he had brought from our old house, and the remainder of his current packet of Dreamies for the journey.

It doesn't seem real, I keep expecting to hear the thud of him jumping off our bedroom windowsill, or see him strut in to the living room with his tail up.  He was so young, and it was so sudden.

Cardiomyopathy is genetic, apparently, it shows itself in cats from 3 - 4 years old.  You don't know they have it until it is too late, a lot of the time.  However, apparently, there are tests you can do.  Please do them.  I wouldn't wish this agony on anyone.  Two days ago my darling Pickle was fine and full of the joys of spring.  Today he is gone.  I needed to get this out, my grief and shock are overwhelming me - all I can do is sob.  I miss him, I love him, I want him back with me.
 

jcat

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I'm very, very sorry, and Pickle was far too young to have to leave you. HCM is horrible (we're dealing with it right now, also with congestive heart failure). You're right, it can be diagnosed with a simple blood test nowadays, the Cardiopet proBNP Test. It's kind of you to think of others and their pets in your time of grief.
, Pickle.
 
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evakatharina

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So, so sorry about your Pickle.  It was too soon for him to go.  :(  At least he passed without feeling any pain- you can take some small consolation in that.
 

bellaandme

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I'm sorry for your loss. I hope you can find some peace in knowing that he didn't linger in pain. And please believe you'll see him again!!
 

feralvr

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OH no :eek:hno: I am so very sorry for you loss of :rbheart: Pickle..... My deepest sympathies to you :sniffle:...

RIP :rbheart: Pickle :rbheart, you will be missed so very much....
 

kittkatt

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I'm so sorry you lost your precious Pickle.
I know the pain you are feeling, as I just lost my sweet Cassidy this past Sunday suddenly & unexpectedly. She was only 3 & 1/2 years old, and her life was taken without any apparent reason and so soon. The pain is overwhelming. My prayers are with you in you time of sorrow.


Rest peacefully, sweet Pickle.
 

tntrouble456

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I am so sorry about Pickle and for Cassidy, too. You have to know those babies were loved and adored and everything that was done was because you cared. Nothing makes the feeling of loss go away. It just gets a bit less painful over time. I have 5 babies under my weeping willow tree and my heart hurts for each one. I am facing the fact that Pete, my 4 months old baby will be passing in a few days or weeks from FIP...a sickening, miserable disease that I despise. He is a special kitty. I will be here posting soon about him but I wish you both alot of good memories from Pickle and Cassidy. They had wonderful lives with you, I'm sure and they always have that place in your heart.
 
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eris348

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Thank you so much, everyone for your wonderful words of kindness.  It has been just over a week now, and I have started to throw myself into sorting out my house, diversion therapy.  But the house is so quiet - I still go to feed him in the evenings, only to realise that there is no point.  My other half wanted a focal point for his grief, so we chose and had printed and framed a beautiful picture of Pickle, which is on the mantlepiece with his favourite toy mouse :-)

KittKatt, I am so, so sorry about Cassidy.  My thoughts and prayers are with you - I know how difficult this time is.  

TNTrouble456, that is so, so so young for Pete - I can't imagine what you must be going through, just having to wait for it to happen.  My thoughts and prayers are with you and Pete, hoping that the end is peaceful for him - I know it can't be for you.

I read Rainbow Bridge for the first time last Friday, then I looked out of the window.  Lo and behold, a double rainbow was perfectly in view out of my french windows.  My darling Pickle is ok, and is waiting for me to find him one day.  

Thank you, everyone xxx
 
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