Hi guys..... For those that pray, I would appreciate some extra prayers. For those that believe in good vibes, please pass them on. Any well wishes would be thoroughly appreciated.
For those that do not know me/my situation.
As of Aug. 23, after a 15yr marriage, I became separated from my husband. The situation itself is quite complex, messy and painful.
I am a single mom to 2 beautiful young ladies, ages 15 and 11. My 11yr old has only known a 2 parent home. My 15yr old, remembers from when I was a single mom prior to moving in with my husband 9yrs ago.
In May 2006, I injured my upper back at work.
In Feb. 2007, I was given the diagnosis of severe tendinitis of different sorts affecting both of my arms.
I receive partial WSIB/Workers comp benefits, and intend on fighting that once the divorce stuff is dealt with. Suffice to say, my income is menial at the moment.
I have been blessed to find a woman's shelter that is quite skilled in the Domestic area, and they have been helping me tremendously. They offer things such as transport to and from appointments (they took me to court and spent all day with me, both for support and the ride to and from), they have a food bank, shelter if needed, lots of resources, and counselling free of charge which my youngest DD is involved with.
I am currently residing in the matrimonial home. My (ex)husband is paying the mortgage, so I am thankful I have a roof over my and my childrens heads. The house will be going up for sale as I cannot afford it on my own, and for whatever reason, he does not want it. We will be breaking the mortgage that we just renewed
We built this house together 9yrs ago. And I do mean built. My sweat, blood and tears have gone into our home and it is the first "home" I've had of this "class". I've always been poor, my ex makes decent money. I have a beautiful home that we love. It will be a horrible day when we leave, but I've accepted the fact that I will have to leave. Which brings me to what I need good for.
#1:
I will qualify for geared to income housing/subsidized housing, and I also qualify for special priority due to the circumstances involving my children, and my court case (long story short, I fought back and ended up with a charge) which means that I would be placed ahead of a person who is poor/on assistance/or the like.
That said, there are many women out there trying to pick up the pieces and start a new life for themselves. I will be on the list with MANY other people leaving situations like my own.
The community I live in, has 3 housing co-ops that I have applied for. 1 of them I lived at 9yrs ago as a single mom on assistance. It was a nice 3bdr townhouse and I had no complaints about it. The second one, I drove by it and it appears nice looking. I haven't heard any negatives. The third one, I really really do not want to live at. It is not a nice community, and is run down a bit. But I will of course take whatever I can get, tho I have preferences of the first 2 as they would be wonderful for my children. The first one would be ideal as it is closer to where my 15yr old just got her first job
, the 2nd one would be about 30mins bike ride for her but she would alternate between biking and taking a taxi (taxi is $5 anywhere in town).
My application goes in tomorrow.
The wait list is LONG. As in over a year long.
But the last time I applied, I ended up getting in within about 6mos.... so there is HOPE.
Please send any positive thoughts my way, that my girls and I are able to get in one of the first 2, and if not, then the 3rd one, BEFORE my home sells and I have to leave.
If I don't have a place to rent by the time my house sells, my kitties will have to go to a shelter ( I would get them back, the womans shelter has a relationship with the animal shelter and they would keep the kitties temporarily) and my girls and I would have to go with emergency shelter.
Any vibes would be appreciated for an opening into one of these co-ops.
#2: My husband and I have separated by means of him moving out. An incident occured on the 23rd Aug. resulting in me not being able to go near him.
He also cannot come near my oldest daughter, or myself. Nor can he come to our marital home.
These are legal restrictions and jail time would occur if breached.
At this point, we are separating by means of a negotiated separation agreement with lawyers (on his desire, even prior to the incident) and waiting the year and divorcing vs family court. I had wanted to settle via separation agreement without lawyers, but he chose otherwise. So be it. I have somewhat of assistance with legal fees, but that's not the issue.
"We" own (aka have a loan) on a truck. It is in both of our names. He has a company vehicle and a sports car. I drive the truck and have mostly. My doctor is not in town and I go in monthly for medications and check ups. My daughters have things they need to be driven to. I have another court date in April, plus a 17wk counselling course starting in March that is court ordered, and is out of town.
I am screwed if i lose the truck. I NEED a vehicle for the next year. I can afford to pay half of the payments (I would find a way to do so) to keep the truck temporarily.
But if he chooses to, he could say nope, no way, and I am out of luck, with noone around to loan me a vehicle, not enough money to rent one (don't think we have a rental place any more) and nowhere near enough money to take a taxi into the city once a week for the program.
Please please pray, vibe, whatever, help him see that his KIDS need the vehicle....they need to get to doctor appointments, they need to go to the dentist, etc. It wouldn't be just me he would be hurting by saying he wants out of the loan..... I cannot afford a vehicle without a co-signer, which aside from him, I do not have.
I don't need to keep the truck if I can get another vehicle. But I have no clue where I'd get another vehicle with my income.
Hope that we can work something out and he can be reasonable. Even if it's something like selling the truck and helping me find a used car. I don't care, I just NEED a vehicle.
#3 and last one:
Last Friday we were supposed to have our first 4-way meeting (he and his lawyer, myself, and my lawyer) to discuss EVERYTHING (house, truck, custody, etc) and it was rescheduled due to my lawyer being in court all day.
It's scheduled for this week Friday and I am terrified. A lot of bad could happen, a lot of good could happen. A lot of answers SHOULD happen, which is good even if they aren't the answers I want.
I do have a lady from the shelter attending the meeting with me, and it will be safe as we cannot be in the same room together. He and his lawyer will be in one room, me, my counselor and lawyer will be in another room, and the lawyers will go back and forth. That is the only way he and I can talk, through counsel or I am allowed to talk to him IF it is an emergency involving the children or affecting his access visits.
Custody will be addressed, and I know what he wants and have stated that if he chooses not to budge on his opinion, then we WILL be going to Family Court.
He knows what I want, and we haven't discussed it due to our non-communication conditions. I am, and always will be, reasonable when it comes to my children. Which, the youngest one is his. The older one is not, and chooses to have nothing to do with him. The youngest one talks to him daily and sees him every other weekend at the moment, until he attends court and a decision is made regarding his issues. My oldest daughters father and I have a great relationship, and have always put our child before ourselves. I am hoping the same for my youngest.
I am glad this meeting is finally happening, but of course I'm stressed to the gills about it...worried about the what ifs, the maybes, the...............
any good vibes would be appreciated.
It will be nice to have a direction. For the last 2 months I haven't had a clue as to where I stand, what's happening, etc. This meeting will give me a direction, knowledge and a road to travel. It will help my girls who are both very worried as well.
Lots of good for an outcome that will put my childrens needs before anyone elses would be appreciated.
The only thing I don't want to hear, is that he is being unreasonable and this will be dragged into Family Court. That will turn a "simple complicated" situation into a "complex long drawn out complicated" situation, and will benefit noone except the lawyers. I do not want to be dragged through court..... I can handle everything else.... just not court for this.
sorry for the long read, and thank you for those that made it through.
Hope this all makes sense, I've not been sleeping well and am about to try to sleep now......
Thank you all for your continued support and encouragement.
For those that do not know me/my situation.
As of Aug. 23, after a 15yr marriage, I became separated from my husband. The situation itself is quite complex, messy and painful.
I am a single mom to 2 beautiful young ladies, ages 15 and 11. My 11yr old has only known a 2 parent home. My 15yr old, remembers from when I was a single mom prior to moving in with my husband 9yrs ago.
In May 2006, I injured my upper back at work.
In Feb. 2007, I was given the diagnosis of severe tendinitis of different sorts affecting both of my arms.
I receive partial WSIB/Workers comp benefits, and intend on fighting that once the divorce stuff is dealt with. Suffice to say, my income is menial at the moment.
I have been blessed to find a woman's shelter that is quite skilled in the Domestic area, and they have been helping me tremendously. They offer things such as transport to and from appointments (they took me to court and spent all day with me, both for support and the ride to and from), they have a food bank, shelter if needed, lots of resources, and counselling free of charge which my youngest DD is involved with.
I am currently residing in the matrimonial home. My (ex)husband is paying the mortgage, so I am thankful I have a roof over my and my childrens heads. The house will be going up for sale as I cannot afford it on my own, and for whatever reason, he does not want it. We will be breaking the mortgage that we just renewed
We built this house together 9yrs ago. And I do mean built. My sweat, blood and tears have gone into our home and it is the first "home" I've had of this "class". I've always been poor, my ex makes decent money. I have a beautiful home that we love. It will be a horrible day when we leave, but I've accepted the fact that I will have to leave. Which brings me to what I need good for.
#1:
I will qualify for geared to income housing/subsidized housing, and I also qualify for special priority due to the circumstances involving my children, and my court case (long story short, I fought back and ended up with a charge) which means that I would be placed ahead of a person who is poor/on assistance/or the like.
That said, there are many women out there trying to pick up the pieces and start a new life for themselves. I will be on the list with MANY other people leaving situations like my own.
The community I live in, has 3 housing co-ops that I have applied for. 1 of them I lived at 9yrs ago as a single mom on assistance. It was a nice 3bdr townhouse and I had no complaints about it. The second one, I drove by it and it appears nice looking. I haven't heard any negatives. The third one, I really really do not want to live at. It is not a nice community, and is run down a bit. But I will of course take whatever I can get, tho I have preferences of the first 2 as they would be wonderful for my children. The first one would be ideal as it is closer to where my 15yr old just got her first job
My application goes in tomorrow.
The wait list is LONG. As in over a year long.
Please send any positive thoughts my way, that my girls and I are able to get in one of the first 2, and if not, then the 3rd one, BEFORE my home sells and I have to leave.
If I don't have a place to rent by the time my house sells, my kitties will have to go to a shelter ( I would get them back, the womans shelter has a relationship with the animal shelter and they would keep the kitties temporarily) and my girls and I would have to go with emergency shelter.
Any vibes would be appreciated for an opening into one of these co-ops.
#2: My husband and I have separated by means of him moving out. An incident occured on the 23rd Aug. resulting in me not being able to go near him.
He also cannot come near my oldest daughter, or myself. Nor can he come to our marital home.
These are legal restrictions and jail time would occur if breached.
At this point, we are separating by means of a negotiated separation agreement with lawyers (on his desire, even prior to the incident) and waiting the year and divorcing vs family court. I had wanted to settle via separation agreement without lawyers, but he chose otherwise. So be it. I have somewhat of assistance with legal fees, but that's not the issue.
"We" own (aka have a loan) on a truck. It is in both of our names. He has a company vehicle and a sports car. I drive the truck and have mostly. My doctor is not in town and I go in monthly for medications and check ups. My daughters have things they need to be driven to. I have another court date in April, plus a 17wk counselling course starting in March that is court ordered, and is out of town.
I am screwed if i lose the truck. I NEED a vehicle for the next year. I can afford to pay half of the payments (I would find a way to do so) to keep the truck temporarily.
But if he chooses to, he could say nope, no way, and I am out of luck, with noone around to loan me a vehicle, not enough money to rent one (don't think we have a rental place any more) and nowhere near enough money to take a taxi into the city once a week for the program.
Please please pray, vibe, whatever, help him see that his KIDS need the vehicle....they need to get to doctor appointments, they need to go to the dentist, etc. It wouldn't be just me he would be hurting by saying he wants out of the loan..... I cannot afford a vehicle without a co-signer, which aside from him, I do not have.
I don't need to keep the truck if I can get another vehicle. But I have no clue where I'd get another vehicle with my income.
Hope that we can work something out and he can be reasonable. Even if it's something like selling the truck and helping me find a used car. I don't care, I just NEED a vehicle.
#3 and last one:
Last Friday we were supposed to have our first 4-way meeting (he and his lawyer, myself, and my lawyer) to discuss EVERYTHING (house, truck, custody, etc) and it was rescheduled due to my lawyer being in court all day.
It's scheduled for this week Friday and I am terrified. A lot of bad could happen, a lot of good could happen. A lot of answers SHOULD happen, which is good even if they aren't the answers I want.
I do have a lady from the shelter attending the meeting with me, and it will be safe as we cannot be in the same room together. He and his lawyer will be in one room, me, my counselor and lawyer will be in another room, and the lawyers will go back and forth. That is the only way he and I can talk, through counsel or I am allowed to talk to him IF it is an emergency involving the children or affecting his access visits.
Custody will be addressed, and I know what he wants and have stated that if he chooses not to budge on his opinion, then we WILL be going to Family Court.
He knows what I want, and we haven't discussed it due to our non-communication conditions. I am, and always will be, reasonable when it comes to my children. Which, the youngest one is his. The older one is not, and chooses to have nothing to do with him. The youngest one talks to him daily and sees him every other weekend at the moment, until he attends court and a decision is made regarding his issues. My oldest daughters father and I have a great relationship, and have always put our child before ourselves. I am hoping the same for my youngest.
I am glad this meeting is finally happening, but of course I'm stressed to the gills about it...worried about the what ifs, the maybes, the...............
any good vibes would be appreciated.
It will be nice to have a direction. For the last 2 months I haven't had a clue as to where I stand, what's happening, etc. This meeting will give me a direction, knowledge and a road to travel. It will help my girls who are both very worried as well.
Lots of good for an outcome that will put my childrens needs before anyone elses would be appreciated.
The only thing I don't want to hear, is that he is being unreasonable and this will be dragged into Family Court. That will turn a "simple complicated" situation into a "complex long drawn out complicated" situation, and will benefit noone except the lawyers. I do not want to be dragged through court..... I can handle everything else.... just not court for this.
sorry for the long read, and thank you for those that made it through.
Hope this all makes sense, I've not been sleeping well and am about to try to sleep now......
Thank you all for your continued support and encouragement.
