TheCatSite.com › Forums › General Forums › The Cat Lounge › In a different thread, this was asked: Which is priority, yourself or your cats?
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

In a different thread, this was asked: Which is priority, yourself or your cats?

post #1 of 44
10/15/11 at 6:22am
Thread Starter 
Here's the quote, I didn't want to lose a good discussion topic.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Natalie_ca View Post

Speaking of cats, does anyone else go without necessities in order to make sure their cats have what they need? To me it's just logical for me to make sure they have even if I don't. I know some will think I'm crazy for putting my cats needs above my own, but I consider my cats my kids and I think any parent would put their kids ahead of themselves.


You raised a question, about animals coming first as opposed to ourselves and that is something I've had to think about a lot as of lately.
My income is menial, and thanks to my (ex) I have legal fees out the wazoo. Without getting into a sidetracked discussion, Legal Aid only helps by paying the legal costs right now, once the house sells then I have to pay them back if I have any money left once all the penalties are paid, etc. I didn't touch my RRSP as it would have cost me around $750 to withdrawal the $1500 I needed for that lump sum payment, so I ended up putting it on a credit card with the hopes of paying off as much as I can before the interest rates go up. (I got some very low interest cheques and used one... am going to have to use another one).

So all my income is from partial WSIB and a small amount of child support from my oldest daughters father. My ex is paying the mortgage and costs related to the house, so right now, I have a roof over my and my girls heads. The income I do get has to go towards gas, childrens expenses, groceries, and bills. I've been feeding my family on under $20/wk for the last 4-5wks.

Thankfully I have not needed to buy cat food as when I do buy dry, it lasts 3-4mos. But the bin is now about 1/4 full so it is something I've been thinking about. All the cats are overdue for their checkups/booster shots right now (they were due the beginning of the year, but I was waiting because one of em was due the end of summer and I was going to take them all at once to save some money).

Their dry food costs about $100 but that lasts 3-4mos and I buy cheap wet food (friskies or fancy feast).
The vet will be $300ish.

What it all boils down to for me, is who needs what more. The cats don't "need" the vet appointment as they are indoor only, have had their first full sets of shots (but I like to do the first full sets, then 1 more....then I don't usually take them in....that's my personal standpoint on immunizations) so I am not thinking about the vet visit.

Their food.
If I had to choose between spending $20 on food for the cats or food for me, I would choose the cats.
If I had to choose between food for my children or food for my cats, I would choose my children.

If I had to choose between my medications and food for the cats, I would choose my medications.
Without my medications, I am useless, non functioning, with no quality of life, would go through some serious withdrawals, and not be able to take care of my children or my pets.

My children will always come before my pets, and my pets come before myself to a certain degree as I can go without food for a bit, but meds I cannot without jeopardizing my life. My meds cannot be filled every 3mos, except one of them which happens to be on of the cheapest meds I take. I wish they could be filled every 3 mos because I have no clue when he is taking me off his benefits and would get the doc to fill 3mos worth while I still have benefits

One small blessing I have is, a good friend of mine owns a pet food store. I am sure he will help me out with the food (perhaps allow me to pay monthly or weekly rather than all at once) and my family and I have signed up for a Christmas Hamper from the food bank and I've asked for cat food. It's a neat program here, they take down your information (ppl in your family, what you want for Christmas, etc.) and another family will "sponsor" you, buy you some gifts and giftcards for groceries and any special needs. I'm hoping to get some catfood.


I never thought I'd be back in this situation, but..... I am used to living frugally and doing what needs doing.

But the bottom line for me is that my children are my #1 priority, my pets come before my non-essential needs.

Where do you stand?
Reply
post #2 of 44
10/15/11 at 6:43am
I dont have any children, but aside from that when my times were less prosperous kitty and I suffer together . Its ramen and purina. I am lucky that I have allways been able to eek through my vet bills back when I did not have much of anything.
Reply
post #3 of 44
10/15/11 at 6:44am
There have been plenty of times where I have chosen to take care of Parker over myself. Having to take him to the e-vet 2 years ago meant I had NO money for the rest of the month. I had nothing...but he was feeling better. Which made it worth it to me.

Right now I have about 12 dollars left in my bank account which will be for cat food, should I run out.
Parker is my responsibility. He didn't ask for me to take him on as a pet, I chose to. So is up to me to make sure he is fed at all times, even if it means I go without for a bit. He wouldn't understand if I didn't have money to feed him and its not fair to him. Last time I couldn't get cat food for just one day, I cried...he was pestering me to feed him and there was nothing I could do until later that night, I felt horrible.

So yeah, point is Parker is my priority. I will definitely go without if he needs food or vet care.
Reply
post #4 of 44
10/15/11 at 6:52am
I have no children or other humans to take care of aside from myself. With that in consideration, my cats DO come first.

They eat better than I do (though now that I am back on Weight Watchers, I am taking care of myself better now).

When I am out shopping, I am always keeping an eye out for stuff for them, or related to them (an adorable sculpture)

I always let them take the best spots on the bed and I'd be curled up in a tight corner, lol

I worry over them for every little thing.. like the day Monet suddenly became really affectionate, I thought about calling the vet, but I had to talk myself to saying he's OK.

they are my babies, and I'd do anything for them!
Reply
post #5 of 44
10/15/11 at 6:56am
Well, thankfully, we haven't had to deal with something like this. I can tell you that, during the times that Rick was laid-off from his work and the cats needed something, they always got it. Always. And when Banshee was on meds for feline asthma and now with Whisper on her KD food and all those meds for Tabby's ears, they will always get what they need.

Our cats only drink bottled water....and no, it's not because they're spoiled. It's because, for years, we had really crappy well water. And when we first moved here and started giving Hydrox the water from the well, he immediately blocked up. He was at the vet's for almost a week with a catheter and we almost lost him. So even though we have a water system now in the basement, the cats will always drink bottled water because we're paranoid and we don't ever want them to go through what Hydrox did. We'll find a way.

As LuvMyParker said, the cats didn't ask to become part of our family....we chose to bring them in the house. We chose to take on the responsibility to care for them. And that's what we do.
Reply
post #6 of 44
10/15/11 at 7:20am
My cats come first we want them healthy and they are basicaly like our kids. So we want to give them whatever they need
Reply
post #7 of 44
10/15/11 at 8:05am
We have no kids, and aren't having any. Nero, Hoshi and Neko are our "kids". That being said, I will make sacrifices in order for them to have what they need, similar to how someone may make sacrifices in order for their children to have what they need. If its between my food and buying them cat food, I will get a box of ramen for myself (I think they sell them for 25 cents each or something around here) in order for them to have their food.

I thankfully have not found myself in that situation before though. I promised these cats when I took them in that they will always have what they need until they cross the bridge, and I will stick to that promise They're such a big part of my life, I will do whatever I can for them.

I'm similar to Draco - when I'm out, I look for stuff for them alllll the time. I buy them treats whenever I pick up something for them (even though have a jar of treats. They'll never run out!) I worry about them when they're scared (like when the cleaning guy was here) and if they make strange sounds. I let them sleep on my face or sleep in a strange position because they're tucked against me and too cute to disturb.
Reply
post #8 of 44
10/15/11 at 9:07am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Snake_Lady View Post
(I got some very low interest cheques and used one... am going to have to use another one).
Have you looked at the offer to make sure you aren't paying a fee for using those checks? The ones I get are all at least 3% or 4% of the amount of the check. If you add that to the interest (even if its low), sometimes it makes just as much sense to put it on the regular card and pay that off as you can.
Reply
post #9 of 44
10/15/11 at 9:13am
My cats come first.

We've just spent probably at least $1,000 on vet visits, exams, medicines, teeth cleaning, etc. I pulled out my credit card and didn't blink while paying for it. In fact, we had her do additional blood tests on Cindy before the teeth cleaning because it had been a couple months since we had her checkup and bloodwork. The vet said it would probably be okay, but the closer to the surgery, the better, so we said she should do it.

On the other hand, I cancelled my blood tests that were scheduled for last Friday. It was $65 to talk to the doctor for 3 minutes eariler in the week - I don't even want to think about what it would cost for blood tests (my insurance sucks).
Reply
post #10 of 44
10/15/11 at 9:15am
I haven't had to make this type of decision. I budget carefully for my own needs, and each payday I put aside a certain amount of money for Sweetie's vet costs and other needs. Also I buy Sweetie's special prescription food in large bags which last about 5 months, so the possibility of choosing whether to feed him or take care of myself isn't an issue.

I have been using the same system to manage my finances for many years, and it has always worked out really well.
Reply
post #11 of 44
10/15/11 at 9:56am
My cats of course!!
Reply
post #12 of 44
10/15/11 at 10:23am
I'm going to throw in the combo-breaker and say nope, I come first.

While it certainly wouldn't be a difficult decision to upgrade my TV or laptop over medical bills for my cats, if on equal footing where I was forced to decide between my own medical bills or the food on my own plate over that of my cats, priority goes to taking care of myself first.
Reply
post #13 of 44
10/15/11 at 10:59am
It's like the oxygen masks dropping down in the airplane: you have to take care of yourself first so you can help those in your care.

That said, no cat of mine, throughout my life has ever gone hungry or without medical care. When I was a poor university student, I worked extra hours at my job and sometimes took on a second job to make sure we all had decent quality of life. Once years ago when I couldn't do that, my friends helped me host a benefit so Moon-Pie could have the surgery she needed.

These days, I've got a husband and daughter and 3 kitties, and we are all in it together.
Reply
post #14 of 44
10/15/11 at 11:10am
I have not yet needed to deal with this issue but Autumn would come before me. I can eat anything whereas Autumn must have cat food to keep her healthy. I could never see her food bowl being empty, not in my lifetime.
Reply
post #15 of 44
10/15/11 at 11:13am
"Our cats only drink bottled water."

Pam, Misty was always given bottled water and now so is Autumn. I won't drink tap water and I certainly won't give it to my kitty.
Reply
post #16 of 44
10/15/11 at 11:31am
My pets of course come first.
I made the descision to get them in the first place, it's my responsibility.
I do buy their foods in large quatity so that helps keep costs down and keeps them from being a monthly expense.
We often go without food (one meal a day) and without gas in the truck.
Reply
post #17 of 44
10/15/11 at 5:13pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by SwampWitch View Post
It's like the oxygen masks dropping down in the airplane: you have to take care of yourself first so you can help those in your care.
Very true!

When it comes to MOST things, my kitties would always come first, but like Chris, if it came down to medications that I needed to function, well then I would have to go with the medications, so that I could continue to be able to care for the kitties.

Dana and I do not have kids though and we never will, so yeah, our cats are our kids, but for those who DO have kids, I completely understand that you have to do what is best for your children.
Reply
post #18 of 44
10/15/11 at 5:33pm
My cats come first except if I were to be in a position when I needed something for myself in order to take care of them. Other than that, my cats are my biggest priority. They mean everything to me. Always have, always will.
Reply
post #19 of 44
10/15/11 at 6:46pm
My cats always come first
Reply
post #20 of 44
10/15/11 at 7:16pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ducman69 View Post
I'm going to throw in the combo-breaker and say nope, I come first.

While it certainly wouldn't be a difficult decision to upgrade my TV or laptop over medical bills for my cats, if on equal footing where I was forced to decide between my own medical bills or the food on my own plate over that of my cats, priority goes to taking care of myself first.
I agree with Ducman69.

I work very hard to provide for myself and my cats. I am a licensed veterinarian technician (I know some of you cringe) to help fray the cost of owning a terminally ill cat(s), like my DLH. It came in handy when I first got my F3 Savannah Loki as well.

But if it came down to keeping my home, paying for my medicine, or buying myself food, or taking care of my cats, I would rehome my cats.

However let me put this in perspective, since my boyfriend passed away over a year ago I have gone on two dates. Well Loki the nut case scared the man half to death. Each man asked me to pick him or the cat.

Well the cat won, over the man. So it is not to say I do not love my cats. But I feel my cats are here for my enjoyment. I do not feel I would enjoy them if I was homeless and hungry. Plus on a more practical note, what kind of life would they have if I was sick, homeless, and hungry .

Lastly I have never faced the whole issue, but I am fairly sure this is how I would react.
Reply
post #21 of 44
10/15/11 at 7:44pm
If I was homeless, I would certainly give Parker up. However, I have enough people in my family that totally adore him and would take him if it came down to me re-homing him. He would never be with strangers.

My family wasn't always well off growing up, so I am used to skipping meals or eating Mr. Noodles (Ramen, for the US'ers) or a can of something to get by. So going without a few meals to make sure my little man is fed is fine by me. That being said, it isn't an every day thing. I do budget my money and try to make sure I have enough food for him for the month, plus a bag of dry in emergencies.

I think though, if I needed money in a life or death situation (medical care), I would put myself first but I would certainly make sure my cat was in a safe place that I could see him.
Reply
post #22 of 44
10/16/11 at 3:06am
My family care (as far as food goes):
My kids
My husband
My pets
Myself
My children ALWAYS come first with me, there are 4 of them, and they get food and medical care before anyone else. My husband , well, if he isn't cared for, we're all gonna starve, and lose our home.
If it came down to it, my pets can eat less expensive food. It will not harm them to get Iams, as opposed to Blue Buffalo. It will also not harm them to eat dry only as opposed to dry and canned.

I would forgo a meal if it meant that everyone else can eat one, but thankfully money is extremely tight, but not at the critical level yet.
Reply
post #23 of 44
10/16/11 at 6:16am
I've never really had to choose, so I can't really answer the question accurately.

If you're asking, would I get rid of Trout if I couldn't afford to feed her? No I wouldn't, I would make it work with what I had and would go into debt for her vet care if needed.
Reply
post #24 of 44
10/16/11 at 4:07pm
im sorry but i come first over my cat, yes he is well fed well loved and is my responsibility but if i could nt afford him i would not get him... and as far as finances i believe there is a line to be drawn when it comes to vet bills... if it is going to cost me 1000 dollars for care, i just won't do it, im sorry.. don't hate me ok people.. i have a 16 yr old cat at home who was dagnosed with thyroid plroblems 7 yrs ago and i never put her on meds for it, at the time it was 75 dollars a month for the meds, well she is doing just fine and always has since she was diagnosed.. i also don't have any kids but im trying to save up for ivf which is more important to meas i want a child, but of course i will not get rid of my pet to cut costs, its all about balance in this household..
Reply
post #25 of 44
10/16/11 at 4:35pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by cyndersmom View Post
i will not get rid of my pet to cut costs, its all about balance in this household..
That is what I was trying to say . Good work, in my humble opinion.
Reply
post #26 of 44
10/16/11 at 4:54pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by cyndersmom View Post
im sorry but i come first over my cat, yes he is well fed well loved and is my responsibility but if i could nt afford him i would not get him... and as far as finances i believe there is a line to be drawn when it comes to vet bills... if it is going to cost me 1000 dollars for care, i just won't do it, im sorry.. don't hate me ok people.. i have a 16 yr old cat at home who was dagnosed with thyroid plroblems 7 yrs ago and i never put her on meds for it, at the time it was 75 dollars a month for the meds, well she is doing just fine and always has since she was diagnosed.. i also don't have any kids but im trying to save up for ivf which is more important to meas i want a child, but of course i will not get rid of my pet to cut costs, its all about balance in this household..
I agree with you, I come first. My meds, food and rent and other monthly bills too. If Im not well for my cat what good am I to her. She will eat but it may not be the "best food" occasionally if the month is short (and being on SSDI it usually is).

This month I had a $78 vet bill and that was tough. I now have $30 until the 3rd of next month. If she had a serious illness that cost alot of money, I would have to make choices. Still she is better off with me than in a shelter. I supply her with food, shelter and lots of love. Thats more than she had.
Reply
post #27 of 44
10/16/11 at 4:58pm
I have no children and I never plan to. Thankfully, I do make enough to not live paycheck to paycheck, though it's by no means a fancy life. However, I make sure my cats are always fed before I feed myself (with the exception of morning coffee ), and they get a good quality food.

However, if it came down to $20 for me or the cats to buy food, I would feed the cats first. I can go a day without food, but I don't want my cats ever having to wonder when they will get a next meal. That's why I rescued them -- to provide a stable, loving home where they never had to worry about anything. Perhaps cats don't have that cognizant ability to worry, but I'm sure you all understand what I mean.

But as far as medical, rent, etc. for myself, I do have to make myself a priority. Without a roof over my head or my health, I am worthless to my cats.
Reply
post #28 of 44
10/16/11 at 6:56pm
Chris, it's one thing to say "my cats come first," and another to be faced with those decisions.

Right now we're treating Lazlo's cancer with chemo, and it costs a lot. Our grocery shopping reflects that, and we're not just popping in the car to head out somewhere. We stop to think - do we need to spend this gas money? Can it be combined into a trip tomorrow? We sold most of what was left of my jewelry that was worth anything. And I've needed a mammogram for two years now. But we don't have health insurance. That said - as far as I'm concerned, the mammo is a preventative kind of thing, and not "necessary." It's not going to prevent cancer (knock wood).

So while we would put necessary medical care for ourselves above the more expensive wet food we like to feed our cats, we definitely put the cats ahead of more expensive cuts of meat for our dinner (or meat at all, sometimes LOL), for instance. They are eating only wet food, but if we could only afford 9lives, we'd opt for a higher quality dry (I think). But I'd rather live on ramen noodles, myself (and have), than be forced to make that decision for the cats.

We would do whatever it took for their medical care, however, and thankfully we have vets willing to let us make payments.
Reply
post #29 of 44
10/16/11 at 7:18pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cat Person View Post
I agree with Ducman69.

I work very hard to provide for myself and my cats. I am a licensed veterinarian technician (I know some of you cringe) to help fray the cost of owning a terminally ill cat(s), like my DLH. It came in handy when I first got my F3 Savannah Loki as well.
Cringe, yes, because it is "veterinary" technician, so it's really odd that you don't refer to it properly.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cat Person
But if it came down to keeping my home, paying for my medicine, or buying myself food, or taking care of my cats, I would rehome my cats.... But I feel my cats are here for my enjoyment. I do not feel I would enjoy them if I was homeless and hungry. Plus on a more practical note, what kind of life would they have if I was sick, homeless, and hungry
Of course if you're going to be living in shelters, you have to rehome your cats. But it's rarely that black & white.

Gary became ill, our industry changed; we couldn't afford the house anymore. We moved back into the RV, and we brought the cats with us. It's not a palace by any stretch LOL, but since moving back in, we've rescued two more cats. So we're 8 cats and 2 people in the RV.

Perhaps my perspective is different, because we didn't make the conscious decision, "let's get a cat." We were adopted by one, and she opened our eyes to the plight of homeless/feral cats. All of our kitties are rescued from outside (not even from a shelter) and would be homeless and likely dead without us. So while we ENJOY having them, and delight in having them with us, we don't "have" them for our "enjoyment." We rescued them because we enjoy having them and they needed a home... but we adopted them, and to us, they're family. Just like I'd make sacrifices for family, I'd make sacrifices for them.
Reply
post #30 of 44
10/16/11 at 7:45pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by LDG View Post
Chris, it's one thing to say "my cats come first," and another to be faced with those decisions.

Right now we're treating Lazlo's cancer with chemo, and it costs a lot. Our grocery shopping reflects that, and we're not just popping in the car to head out somewhere. We stop to think - do we need to spend this gas money? Can it be combined into a trip tomorrow? We sold most of what was left of my jewelry that was worth anything. And I've needed a mammogram for two years now. But we don't have health insurance. That said - as far as I'm concerned, the mammo is a preventative kind of thing, and not "necessary." It's not going to prevent cancer (knock wood).

So while we would put necessary medical care for ourselves above the more expensive wet food we like to feed our cats, we definitely put the cats ahead of more expensive cuts of meat for our dinner (or meat at all, sometimes LOL), for instance. They are eating only wet food, but if we could only afford 9lives, we'd opt for a higher quality dry (I think). But I'd rather live on ramen noodles, myself (and have), than be forced to make that decision for the cats.

We would do whatever it took for their medical care, however, and thankfully we have vets willing to let us make payments.
see now for me i would not spend money on a cats chemo if it meant me eating ramen noodles. i don't mean to be cruel or hurt your feelings but i need food in my mouth and belly in order to live my life,maybe its selfish but i firmly believe even if a human has cancer they do have the option of using chemo or not and well how do you know your kitty isn't wanting the same thing,maybe he just wants some peace in his life as well and does not want the chemo.. I do feel horrible for your little kitty but like i said there is a limit for ME and i just would not go that far..
Reply
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: The Cat Lounge
TheCatSite.com › Forums › General Forums › The Cat Lounge › In a different thread, this was asked: Which is priority, yourself or your cats?