how old are kittens' when their personalities cement

I adopted a semi-feral kitten in July. I was originally told she was 3 months old but as it turns out, she was born in probably January of this year, so when I adopted her, she was already near 7 months old.

She was abandoned in a crackhouse when the former tenants left in a hurry. And in the time she was alone, she reverted to semi-feral ways. I dont know how long she was left in the apartment before her foster mommy took her in.

She seems to kind of like it here. She sometimes purrs and sometimes rubs her head on mine but many times I try to pet her and she either movies her back downward, tries to claw me, or just plain attack/bite. She's not the most affectionate but since I've never had a kitten before her, I don't know how much of her personality is because she's a crazy kitten, or because she is 'broken'.

Do you think that maybe as she gets older, she'll be nicer or is her personality formed by now?

Oh no, she has lots of time to adjust. She is scared and so unsure about you and where she is. If she lived in a crackhouse and then left alone for a period of time she has NO concept of being a family pet, no concept of living in a clean, quiet environment and probably no concept of kindness and trust. She's only been with you a short time, take it easy and slow and she will learn to trust you.

It will take her a while to learn to trust you...and it may be that when she does, she might hide from visitors to your home, just fyi...

I have a purebred Ragdoll that never ever liked to be held, petted or picked up. Just his charming personality type, LOL, nothing anybody did wrong. But he's 5 years old now and is mellowing a lot...so they change personalities throughout their lives.

Thank you for adopting a feral kitty. I did too, with my Elsa. It's so wonderful to win their trust and love!

Originally Posted by RAFM

Oh no, she has lots of time to adjust. She is scared and so unsure about you and where she is. If she lived in a crackhouse and then left alone for a period of time she has NO concept of being a family pet, no concept of living in a clean, quiet environment and probably no concept of kindness and trust. She's only been with you a short time, take it easy and slow and she will learn to trust you.

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Agree with this completely. You have lots of time. Stay slow, calm and gentle, and the kitten will learn that it doesn't have to live in fear or fight.

I'm actually not convinced personalities ever get cemented. I've adopted enough wild ferals in the past and turned them round given enough time.

How long have you had her?

This sort of thing will sometimes change suddenly, sometimes slowly. And cats keep changing their whole life. Our Punkin was a cuddler when we got him, but I remember the last time he got on my lap. After that, he just wasn't. Oh, he loves attention, jumps up on my desk and wants to be petted and scritched under the chin, loves to be brushed. But no laps, and no picking him up (although he purrs the whole time he is struggling to get down!).

Cats are not truly "mature adults" until about 3 years old, give or take.

Originally Posted by mrblanche

How long have you had her?

Cats are not truly "mature adults" until about 3 years old, give or take.

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i've only had her since July of this year. She's the last picture in my cat pics on my profile (Quinne).

Originally Posted by kluchetta

Thank you for adopting a feral kitty. I did too, with my Elsa. It's so wonderful to win their trust and love!

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Yes all my cats are "pre-owned". Odessa either got lost and couldnt find her way home or got dumped and was found by the Kootenai Humane Society wandering around the woods in Idaho. She loves me and is okay with women. She's not a big fan of loud people or men though. I refer to her as "the love of my life" (not appreciate much by my husband, lol).

Norah I adopted last December. She's 10 and was surrendered because her owners were moving. She is the most loving cat EVER! She loves EVERYONE on this planet!

And then we have Quinne to finish off the family. I was hoping you all would say that there was a possibility of her becoming more loving/affectionate, but I didn't want to get my hopes up.

Just be really calm and gentle. A cat trusts you most if you are predictable and non-threatening. To a cat, sitting quietly in the same room is a sign of being friendly and polite. Cats are solitary hunters by nature--unlike humans and dogs, socializing is not a basic need for them, but rather something they do by choice because it's fun and they like the other person or animal. So, she will want to make sure she's safe and secure before she starts up with socializing.

She's neither broken nor traumatized, just shy. She may come out of her shell, or she may simply become a one-person cat who's most comfortable with you but darts under the bed when company comes. I think sometimes people are too worried about shy cats because they unconsciously think of cats as a sort of small, furry human, and they know that they themselves would hate to be alone and not be able to reach out to others yet. But of course they aren't humans; they're cats, and for a cat, socializing is something they do in their "spare time", once their other needs have been met. Not that they don't like to socialize--they do; and during kittenhood, before about twelve weeks, they need it. They just aren't wired up as social animals the way we are.

As for petting her, she seems to feel a little threatened by it right now--physical contact from a big human probably overwhelms her somewhat. Many cats will let you pet them in one place but not another; like, maybe she'd let you rub her head before she let you touch the rest of her (or vice versa; my cat Christy hates having her head touched because she had to have ear drops and hated them, so she only lets you rub her head when she is very calm).

It's always easiest to approach the cat from the front, so she can see what you're doing and that you don't mean any harm. Let her initiate at least part of it--for example, stretch out your hand, let her sniff your fingers, then stroke along her cheek. If she pushes back against you, you know she'd like to be petted. If you let a cat initiate the cuddling, it's much easier to figure out whether she wants to cuddle. If she ignores you or draws back, she's probably feeling too nervous to enjoy it at that moment, or just wants to sit quietly rather than interacting right now.

Play often entices a shy cat. Try a wand toy or a dangled string, something that doesn't require you to get your hands too close. Bring her treats (whatever food she happens to like, especially things like goat milk or wet kitten food--she's still a kitten; it's practically impossible to overfeed a growing kitten). Let her associate your presence with fun and food. And spend a lot of time just in the same room, mostly ignoring her, just going about your usual business, so that she gets to know your patterns.

BTW, if it makes you feel any better, Tiny was nine months old and semiferal when I first adopted him. He had been living on the streets--I think he must have been dumped as a kitten. I thought he was feral at first, but he warmed up so quickly--within less than six months he was acting like a shy house cat--that I knew he must've had a human owner at some point. Today, at age three, he's an affectionate one-person cat who rubs around my legs, headbutts me, occasionally jumps into my lap, and climbs into bed to wake me up when the clock radio goes off in the morning.

You don't know, of course, what she experienced in her former home, and you may be unwittingly doing something that Quinne associates with something unpleasant -- a particular gesture, say. A friend of my wife has a rescued cat which is terrified of high-heeled shoes, which leads us to conclusions about how she was treated we'd rather not contemplate; my parents have a similar issue with their cat, although in her case it's brooms and brushes. They're still both loving and trusting pets, it's just that with those specific things, they just can't help their instinctive reactions.

As the others have said, just give her time and space, and let her tell you when (and how) she wants to be petted.

Heh, yes, they are terrified of the oddest things sometimes. Tiny is scared to death of sneezes, and will bolt if I sneeze. I've learned to push him off my lap before I sneeze, or he will dig his claws in trying to "escape". No idea what started his little phobia.

Originally Posted by Callista

Heh, yes, they are terrified of the oddest things sometimes. Tiny is scared to death of sneezes, and will bolt if I sneeze. I've learned to push him off my lap before I sneeze, or he will dig his claws in trying to "escape". No idea what started his little phobia.

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That is so weird because we have a cat that comes running TO us when we sneeze. And he chatters all the way to us like he's saying "you OK?". It may be because he has a lot of allergies and when he sneezes we go to him and ask him if he's ok and give him extra attention....I guess he's reciprocating.