Introducing a stray with my 2 ferals

Hi I just took in a stray female who is very sweet and very friendly. I think she was dumped out in the park by her owners. Anyways I have her in a separate room and just had her spayed, but I want to bring her together with my 2 feral females I successfully socialized. When I first introduced my 2 ferals I crated one in the other ferals room for a few days like another girl on this site suggested and it was completely successful. They are now the best of friends! Should I try crating my friendly stray in their room for a few days too? When I opened the door where I keep her she spotted one of my feral girls and began growling. I want to do whatever is best so I have no problems w/them fighting or being aggressive with one another. I would appreciate any advice anyone can offer and thank you!

Hi Judy !!!!!!!!!!!! Yes, I remember helping you with your introductions of Sadie and Lilly (hope I am getting their names right, it has been awhile so forgive me if those are the wrong names). I am just beaming that the two feral girls are now friends. I would take it even slower with introducing this new girl. It can work . Is the new girl already used to being in a crate at all ?? If so, you could certainly use the crate again for short periods in the beginning and then take her back out. The difference will be that the Sadie and Lilly are already bonded and the addition of another "friendly" "non-feral" female might upset the apple cart so to speak. BUT>>> just at first. I would let the new "friendly" spend some time in their room each day in that large crate for an hour to start. Then take her out and back into her own room again.

Anothe idea.....I think what I would do first is take the new girl out of her room. Then put Lilly and Sadie in her room and put the new girl in Lilly and Sadie's room alone. For about 30 minutes, then switch them back. This will allow them to do scent swapping in the other's room. After a few days of that then you can start with the crate introductions. You could even put Lilly in that crate and put her in the new cat's room for an hour. Then do the same for Sadie. Do NOT put Lilly/Sadie in the crate together and put them in the new girl's room. This could have disastrous repercussions in their relationship and cause stress aggression on eachother. Probably the best thing would be to bring the new girl in the other two girls rooms (after a few days of letting them explore eachother's room alone) and use the crate in the beginning. The growling is quite normal and don't be alarmed. "Friendly" cats usually display this type of behavior (hissing/growling) during introductions more so then "Feral" to "Feral" introductions only because the feral's are more worried about YOU than they are of the other cat.

Best of luck!!! You have a heart of gold

I'm sorry Feralvr I wrote you a long message 3 times and I don't know if I have a time limit but it will not post and keeps asking me to login when I already have. It's so frustrating but I just wanted to thank you and wanted to update you on everyones progress but I'm tired of rewriting my messages. Any advice??? It's one of the reasons why I haven't been on here. Thank you so much and I will keep you updated on their progress!

Judy, how frustrating . You always have to Log On to the site before you start your posting. Make sure you click the box to Remember Me......otherwise if you are in the site awhile and not typing or active, I think it will log you off. Also always log off when you are done on the site for that session. I hope this makes sense, I am not the best at advising when it comes to computers ... But I will try

Hope all three girls are doing well today

Ok I did just that let's hope for the best. It is Sadie and Liley you remembered correctly. They are doing great and becoming the best of friends and so loving w/each other all because of your advice. It's going to be so hard to let them go once they find their forever homes. I will try scent swapping first and then do the crate intros. Cali my stray is a very laid back cat so I think she'll have no problem being in a crate. I think she was just dumped at a park right by my house. I just had her spayed so I might wait a couple of days to do the intros. Sadie's babies Shadow and Sparrow are taking a little longer coming around. It's surprising since I trapped them when they were only about a month old, but I just realize every kitty is on their own time schedule feral or not. Sparrow always hisses at first approach, but I can entice her to purr once I begin showering her w/chin scratches. Shadow is very loving and playful and so sweet. I know it's going to be a patient and understanding person to adopt them and see how special they truly are. Thank you so much for all your help! I always pass along your awesome advice to others who are in the same situation. I'll keep you posted on their progress!

You are doing such a FANTASTIC job with all of these kitties. You DO have a heart of gold. I am so glad to hear Shadow and Sparrow are doing well too. Don't worry to much about Sparrow. Each and every cat, feral or hand-raised have different personalities and can be either very out-going and laid-back or quite timid and shy. So Sparrow, not only being wild-born, could have a more shy/timid temperament and she will just take more time. The purring is a really, really good sign . She will make someone a very loving, loyal kitty. I think she will bond deeply with her person. She will probably need a home with someone who can offer a regular daily routine with not many changes in her daily schedule. Ideally, it would be just incredible if Sparrow and Shadow could find a home together. .

Cali sounds very, very sweet !!!!! I am certain you will have success in this new introduction as well. You have a "special" touch with these kitties and are doing a wonderful job. Sending Loads of vibes for much success with Cali and the two other girls
Best,
Lauren

Thanks Feralvr for all the compliments, but it's so much more difficult than I thought it would ever be. I've had Liley since May and Sadie and her babies since June. It can be very rewarding but at the same time very frustrating. I was torn whether or not to trap Sadie and her 2 babies, but I knew I couldn't just shut my eyes and walk away. I never thought the kittens would be harder to tame than the mom. I even sought out advice from a well known feral organization in my area, and she said it would be best to TNR them. I disagreed because I did have success w/Liley and thought it could be done w/them as well. She said it was wrong to take in feral cats and try to make them into something they are not, especially since we're killing so many friendlys. Now I'm debating if I've made the right decision. There are just not enough special people like us who would consider giving a loving home for special kitties like these guys. It takes so much longer. Liley only allows me to get close to her, she's terrified of anyone else. Sadie I know will be much easier, and I think she once was someone's cat. I'm just having a hard time w/the kittens. I feel like I make 2 steps forward and then all of a sudden take 4 steps back. Shadow bit me twice when I tried to hold her. Sparrow is more receptive but still very skittish. Do you have any advice as far as holding them? This is my toughest challenge. I placed Cali my stray in the crate today in Liley and Sadie's room and she seems to be doing well. Liley is hiding, but Sadie came out and sat close to the crate just looking at her. No growling/hissing from either of them. Sorry for the long response I just need support from others who do this and have success and need to vent sometimes. Thanks again for all your support!

Judy . You are right about the rewards and the disappointments/frustrations that go along with socializing these cats/kittens. I had a black kitten from last December's trapping who was seven months old. She was very, very, very difficult to socialize. Hissed/growled and would bite, out of fear. A woman from the shelter, who loves black cats, took her in. Kept her in her computer room where she worked part of the day. She never expected more from this cat but was willing to give her a home, bless her heart. Unexpectedly, Avery turned a corner after many months being distant. She is now a loving, happy and friendly cat to only this woman. She also gets along perfectly with her other two black older cats. It was a perfect situation and I was so thankful she adopted her. BECAUSE - yes, there are times the best thing for some of these feral cats is to return them back outside where they were trapped. I was just to that point of taking Avery back and releasing her back outside in my yard. . The other two kittens I trapped along with her, totally socialized and have wonderful loving homes and are very friendly.

I don't agree either with this organization lady's comment to you but she is dealing with SOOOOO many feral's that her heart may have hardened a bit to the reality of the situation of socializing ferals. I totally understand her concern about the "friendlies" to the "will never be friendlies" but you have to take it case by case. She just doesn't have the time to "socialize" a really, really feral cat and that the best thing and easiest thing (for the person) is to let it go back outside. Socializing a feral CAN be done, but takes much work and much more patience and even the possibility that you may never touch this cat living in your home . My Perkins hates being touched, but I don't care I love him anyway. There are some that will never, ever come around but I have found this to be a small percentage of all trapped feral's. With time, more time, and much patience, they will learn to trust. It can be many, many months. There have been a few times where the feral cat is so miserable "trying" to be socialized that it becomes cruel and the best thing IS to return them outdoors and become their caretaker that way.

I am not saying that Shadow/Sparrow need to be released, but there are other options to look into. The reality is if you don't have a support system in place and you are all on your own with them in finding them a suitable home, it can be overwhelming to say the least and very frustrating. I find if there is no rush and you have the space to keep them and still work with them, in time something will work it's way out, one way or another. Have you considered searching locally for "barns" that are looking for cats. We have many barns in my area that are always willing to help with these feral's that just can't be socialized to a life indoors. Might be something to have in your back pocket in case. OR contact a local TNR group and see of there is another caretaker who could incorporate two more cats into her colony. I have had shelter's contact me to do this for them and I did take on a feral female cat who would not socialize and released her into my colony. Just another option to consider if all else fails. OR you could release them (down the road if you decide) into your yard and acclimate them to live there and care for them as outdoor cats. Either way, you are doing the right thing for these cats . And it is perfectly normal to feel the way you are right now. Hope this helps in some small way
Lauren

Thanks so much Lauren your advice helps me alot! I do have the time it's just the money I'm worried about. Taking care of my 3 plus 5 more can strain me financially, but I knew that going into it, and my heart usually rules my head when it comes to the kitties. I think it was too much for Shadow/Sparrow at the adoption center and overwhelming for them. Once I brought them back here they became more relaxed and opened up even more, so yes I know it will take time. I do have an option where I can take them to a friend's barn, but I think it's too early to make that decision since they are still so young. It would be a better situation for Liley though, but I'm having a hard time considering that because her and Sadie have become so close, and Sadie would do fine in a loving home. But maybe w/alot of hope and prayers I can adopt them out together like Shadow/Sparrow. I work w/an animal organization and we do have contacts w/other rescues so I'll be reaching out to them as well. It's just very hard when any rescue (I know because I volunteered for one for 8yrs) says no because they assume I'm dumping my problems on them when that's not the case at all. I always offer to foster their kitties for helping me place mine, but I think so many become shut down to helping anyone because their overwhelmed or have been burned which makes it difficult for the good hearted people like myself. But I love your message how things will just work it's way out which I truly believe because it's happened w/all my kitties, I just never fostered and tried to socialize ferals before so I'm new to this type of situation with the "not so friendlies." I have been crating Cali and it's been a few days so I've been letting her out while I'm in the room and she has hissed and batted at Sadie a couple of times. I left the room for a couple of minutes and found Sadie sitting in her crate and when I scooted her out Cali went after her. I'm afraid to leave them alone so Cali still remains in her crate when I'm not around. Their in my basement which has 3 separate rooms. The bathroom where Shadow/Sparrow are, the family room where Sadie, Liley and Cali reside, and a kitchen that I allowed Sadie and Liley have access to also. What should I do next? Should I continue to crate Cali in family room w/Sadie/Liley, and hope they'll all come around, or should I open up the kitchen and maybe just place Cali's things in there w/the crate and door open? My first step is placing them all on Petfinder and hoping for the best after that. Thanks again Lauren you've been such a huge help!

Totally get the heart and the "money" thing . The heart does not consider the financial burden rescuing kitties takes . But again, I really believe something will present itself to you in time. Good hearted people such as yourself, do get rewarded for the good deeds you do for little innocent cats with no voice.

Not surprised in the least when you said Cali (from inside the crate) went after Sadie after you shooed Sadie off the crate. Perfect opportunity to assert her authority over Sadie for hovering over he like that on HER territory, the crate. Not to worry. Once the door is open and Cali ventures out she won't have that same desire to charge because she is loose in the room and will have to get her bearings elsewhere. Do you think Sadie is tormenting Cali from on top of the crate? Or is she just curious and knows the "crate" drill already, knowing Cali will soon be out, and is just trying to make friends? I would take Cali out of the crate now for a very short session. Leave the crate door open. Since Cali is friendly, sit and try to see if you can pet her away from the crate, or use a wand toy to distract them and entice them to the toy. I would do this for very short sessions, ten minutes to start. Then put her back in the crate. A day or two of that and I would go ahead and leave the door open and let Cali just come out on her own and on her own schedule. As long as Sadie or Lilly are not attempting to "bully" Cali and go into the crate ..... to see when you open the crate door, all will be fine. Cali can always retreat back to the safety of the crate if she wants too. OR she will just say..... Sianara crate!! I am free. I really think Lilly and Sadie already know what is going on with you bringing a crate in their room with another cat in it . There might be some hissing, of course, and so be it. After the initial meetings, I think they will all get along just fine now. Good LUCK!!!!!

Actually Cali is the first to hiss and swipe her paw at Sadie, but this morning when I let her out of her crate to clean it, and Sadie usually greets me when I come down, she sniffed noses w/Sadie and seemed like she wanted to play. She let out that little mew while running away from Sadie like she was enticing her. Sadie was actually sitting inside her crate not on top of it when Cali and I were playing right around the corner, and when Cali seen her run out that's when she went after her. I do pet/play w/Cali away from the crate and when I peek around the corner Sadie and Liley have been going in the crate sniffing around so yes both her and Liley know the crate drill and I am hoping as you say they are scent sniffing and just trying to make friends. Liley hisses at Cali, and Sadie did seem receptive at first, but now since this incident she hisses at Cali too and avoids her. I know a cat behaviorist on this site has suggestions about introducing a new cat giving them their own room and going slow, so I was just wondering if it applied to ferals and strays too? Seeing Cali going after Sadie like that I don't want to have territorial issues even when the crate is gone. Thanks and cross your fingers all goes well! I already have one of my own cats who is a terrible bully and don't need another if I can help it!

It does sound like things are moving toooo fast for Cali. She sounds a bit stressed. But... you have made huge progress with all three of them. There will be much hissing in the beginning, some more than other's. My Perla still hisses at Wendall. It has been four months since Wendall and Walden were introduced. Some girl kitties just are a bit more sensitive, I think. You could put Cali back in her own room for a bit. And then start over. Hopefully Cali just needs more time settling in and feels very cornered and intimidated in the crate in that room with the other two girls. What works for some won't work for others. It is always trial and error. You definitey don't want first intros and first contacts with eachother to be a bad experience. You really know what you are doing and know these cats. So if you think it is too much, too soon, then go back a few steps before trying again. MUCH MUCH luck with these girls. And keep updating!!!!

I placed Cali back in her own room. I do think it was too much for her and she did feel a little threatened by Liley and Sadie. It went so well w/the crate intros w/Sadie and Liley I was hoping for the same, but I think Cali was a cat who was on her own fending for herself outside. I'll use the scent swapping w/their blankets again, and I also discovered placing their blankets on the floor in between the doorway during mealtime is a great way to ensure the introductions are successful. I'm hoping Cali's bad experience doesn't shape her personality of never getting along w/other cats. She really is a sweet girl. Sometimes I just think cats are the way they are and need to work it out by themselves w/our help of course. I tried everything w/my bully and he's 12 now and even old age hasn't changed his ways. Some cats are just better in an only cat household especially for the health and happiness of the other cats. I'll keep plugging along and keep the updates coming!

AW ..... Cali will be fine and I don't think she will be "scarred" by a few small incidences with Sadie and Lilly. Yes, there is a small percentage of cats out there that do better as only cats. My Wendall is a bit of a bully to Perla. He loves other cats, just likes to pick on Perla because she reacts so badly about it and that spurs him on to tease her.

Much luck with these girls, you are on the right track and I think Cali just needs more time and a much slower intro process. They are all so different, are they not ???

So I wake up a few days ago and open the door to greet the girls and guess who comes running up the stairs...Cali! She escaped out of her room thru my makeshift door. Liley was cowering in the corner, and Sadie look frightened as can be. Everything was undisturbed in Sadie and Lilly's room and I knew then it wasn't good because when I come to see the two of them in the morning the room is all torn up like they're having a party. I'm sure Cali was going after Sadie all night. Is this now hopeless trying to have them all get along??? Cali broke out again today when I came home from work so I placed a heavier door in the entrance of her room and there is no way is she getting out again, I'm just not sure how to approach it from here?

Oh no!! What a little stinker Cali is . How in the world did she even get into Sadie's and Lilly's room? Is there a door on those girls room? Well, doesn't matter, you say Cali somehow got in their room . NO, all hope is not lost at all. But, completely start over. Keep Cali away from the other girls for at least a week or two. No scent swapping during that time. That is what I would do. It is possible that Cali is going to be very picky about who she likes and dislikes. My Perla is like that, especially with other female cats. And if Cali suspects that Sadie is easily tormented, then she might target her. It is hard to say one way or another. You would just have to try it again. I know at the shelter we have those large Midwest cat cages and when a particular cat is being cat aggressive, they keep them in one of those large cages for a few weeks in the free cat roam room. This gives the cat plenty of time to adjust to the surroundings and all of the loose cats in the room. After those weeks, they let the cat out to try again. This is what I would do with Cali. Not a dog crate, but a Midwest cat Playpen. I ordered mine online for about Ninety bucks and it has come in handy in these types of situations.

Sadie and Lilly will get over it and probably already are. Just go back to square one. It was unfortunate that Cali escaped like that, but it does happen . Hope you can keep Miss Houdini in her room

Yes Cali is quite the little stinker! It was actually funny when I came out of my car seeing her staring out the door. My basement has two separate but open rooms a family room and kitchen. Cali is in the kitchen that has no door so I placed a styrofoam door w/heavy paint cans wedged against it for support, but unfortunately that didn't stop her, but w/the heavier door she's been unsuccessful. I think you're absolutely right about Cali picking on Sadie because she's easily tormented. She definitely picks up on it and takes advantage of her weakness. I'm just hoping I can get her to at least tolerate being around other cats, it will only increase her chances of being adopted and not have to be the only cat. Well I'll try again, thanks for all the tips and I'll for sure check out the Playpen and hopefully get the girls at least cohabitating in the same room.

That Cali comes around to accepting Sadie. You just never know with "cats", who they will like and who they will dislike. Cali might do very, very well with cats in general. It just could be #1, the situation and new environment and #2, she just doesn't care for Sadie. Cali may need another cat who really won't be interested in her, she may want to be the first to make that "connection". That is how Perla is. She is fine as long as the other cat does not approach her first. She wants to be the one to make the first move . They are all SO different. As soon as you think you have cat's figured out, you are back to square one Good luck and sending mega vibes for things to go smoothly the next try.