Autisum

I finally have a diagnosis for my son. We adopted William when he was almost five, he is now 14. Since we adopted him I have been seeking answers for his odd behaviours. It will probably seem very odd to you that I am so happy to hear my son is autistic. I have been told by social workers and the school, "there is nothing wrong with William, he is the happiest boy they know". Not only does my son have autisum he also has fetal alcohol spectrom disorder, a severe math learning disability, and possibly a genetic disorder. Finally I have some answers. Now the school with havve no choice they will have to provide support services. Does anybody else find it odd my son received an A in math, when he has a severe math learning disablity, and scored in the bottom 1% of kids his age on the math exam. Waiting for the writtne report, then I will be meeting with the school

Wow, that's a lot of stuff for one child, but I know, answers are better than the unknown.

I'm glad you can now seek assistance for him. Nobody seems to do much until they have a diagnosis they can work with. I'm glad he's a happy boy. You are a wonderful mom!!

I don't find it odd at all the William could get an A in math. When our adopted daughter was in grade school she got As in spelling---and she can't read or write worth a darn.

I'm sure you're relieved that you finally have a diagnosis for your son. Now, my advice to you is this: don't let the schools give you the run-around. Our daughter was tested every 2 years from the time she was 5. Each time we were told she could do mainstream work if she just applied herself. By the time she was in 7th grade she had fallen so far behind in the parochial school she was attending that we had no choice but to send her to public school where she would get the extra help she needed. We met with her teachers and counselors several times a year; at each meeting we were told what a cheerful girl she was, she manages her time so well, the teachers loved her---she was so helpful, she got her work done on time---and if it wasn't right, why, she could do it over and over and over until it was. She did extra work to bring up her failing grades.

At each meeting, I would tell them "she doesn't manage her time well--I have to hound her to finish the night before an assignment is due". I would ask them "if you let her do it over half a dozen times before she gets it right, what is she actually learning?" The graded on a huge curve---she could get a score of 55 (out of 100) and still receive a passing grade. She wasn't being graded on her school work, she was being graded on her personality.

Sorry, I went off on a tear, didn't I? It's just that the school system was pushing her thru, whether she knew anything of not. To this day, she can't write a paragraph that makes sense. She can't do any kind of math without a calculator, she can't spell, her reading comprehension is abyssmal, but that's ok because, according to the school, at least she tried. (no, she didn't; she knew she would be passed thru without earning it)

What it's taking me a long time to get to is this: if William can do the work, don't let the school system push him thru because "he's such a happy boy".
I'm glad you have the answers, even if they might not have been the answers you wanted to hear. At least now you can take it from here and make sure William gets every bit of help he may need.

Autism is a funny thing. I don't think people "get" what it really means. And it can be very different for each kid that has it. There is a lady at my church who has 2 Autistic children. It affects each of them differently. Over the years she has had to do a lot of fighting to get her kids what they need. The standardized testing was a rough one. Her daughter needs things verbalized for her and the school didn't want to provide that for the tests. Well they had to. There have been time she had to basically MAKE the schools re-test her on things because she knew her daughter knew them; but couldn't do it the way the test was presented. Her son has several physical disabilities in addition to the Autism. It took him quite a bit of therapy and practice just to learn to write by hand. They found he does best in a private school. Her daughter did fine with some assistance in a public school. She is now taking college classes at the community college and wants to be a teachers assistant. Which I think she will do great as! The "professionals" wanted her institutionalized when she was little. Imagine that! She's a word puzzle nut btw.

My first job out of college I worked for a non-profit that helped people with disabilities find jobs. I taught computer skills and job seeking skills. I saw people with a wide variety of disabilities. I only worked with people seeking competitive employment though; so almost pretty much everyone was considered "high functioning". Another office worked with the people who needed a sheltered work setting. I found some of the hardest to help had either Aspergers or Autism. Only because it can take some time to figure out what works for each person. I had one young man (I worked with all adults) who was very intelligent and had almost no problem picking up the computer skills; however we never could convince him it was possible to live on less than $70,000 a year. He was an adult before the diagnosed him with the Asperger's. I think it's one of those things that can be hard to put your finger on for some; and his mother was a nurse. Probably why it took so long to get your son diagnosed. But now that you have an answer I hope you can move forward! I'm sure he can with your help!!

I am very thankful I now know what he has. I knew from the time I got him there was something very different about William. He is a great kid. Very well behaved and well like in or community. I think he will do well in life. Now I have a diagnosis I can make life easier for William. With all of this testing, I now know his strengths and weaknesses. The funniest thing is, when we applied to adopt. the one thing I put was, I could not handle a child with autisum.

I agree 100% that it is always better to have a diagnoses. That way you know how to better treat the issues and provide for your son's special needs!

I'm glad you have a starting point to work from now. I've never been officially diagnosed but I did have a Special Ed school counselor I worked very closely with for many years tell me, more than once that she felt I was borderline autistic.

It's my intolerance to sensory input that made her say that. So keep that in mind for William. Something as unnoticeable to most people as a florescent light buzzing or flickering can drive me right out of my mind.

A smell that no one else notices, or a repetitive noise that no one else notices, someone wearing stripes or polka-dots, an odd tint of lighting, all these kinds of things can affect someone with autism. They are things that drive me crazy and cause me to isolate myself as much as possible.

So when helping your son, always be aware of his environment, and try to learn what may affect him that other people would never notice.

I'm glad you were able to find out what your son's needs are. It helps to know. And now you can determine how to treat him and care for him. You can help him build on those strengths.

I think you're a great mom!

Originally Posted by otto

I'm glad you have a starting point to work from now. I've never been officially diagnosed but I did have a Special Ed school counselor I worked very closely with for many years tell me, more than once that she felt I was borderline autistic.

It's my intolerance to sensory input that made her say that. So keep that in mind for William. Something as unnoticeable to most people as a florescent light buzzing or flickering can drive me right out of my mind.

A smell that no one else notices, or a repetitive noise that no one else notices, someone wearing stripes or polka-dots, an odd tint of lighting, all these kinds of things can affect someone with autism. They are things that drive me crazy and cause me to isolate myself as much as possible.

So when helping your son, always be aware of his environment, and try to learn what may affect him that other people would never notice.

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You sound like my oldest daughter Lisa, she is 20. Lisa is hypersensitive in all areas. The doctor's diagnosed her with severe tactile defensiveness. She is very different than William, his is more living in his own world. He has no friends, sees no need to have them. He has made very strict rules for himself. If anybody interferes or interupts him he has a melt down. Example. He must shower at exactly 7:42, he times everything.

Originally Posted by Winchester

I'm glad you were able to find out what your son's needs are. It helps to know. And now you can determine how to treat him and care for him. You can help him build on those strengths.

I think you're a great mom!

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I have no experience with autism, but it's great you finally have the diagnoses. Now the school may want to review its policy of "if they're happy they're fine" approach to educational needs.

Originally Posted by mbjerkness

I am very thankful I now know what he has. I knew from the time I got him there was something very different about William. He is a great kid. Very well behaved and well like in or community. I think he will do well in life. Now I have a diagnosis I can make life easier for William. With all of this testing, I now know his strengths and weaknesses.

The funniest thing is, when we applied to adopt. the one thing I put was, I could not handle a child with autisum.

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I guess sometimes we don't know what we can handle till we get it! You are a great Mom! Some people give up on their kids once they find out there is a problem. Make it an excuse. William deffinitely found the right family for him!!