Taking in a friend's cat?

rianna

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My best friend has this beautiful calico cat named Molly that she asked me if I would take in. She offered to pay for all of Molly's expenses for the rest of her life. She and her husband got a Chihuahua puppy last December and they've tried for some months to get them to get along, but the dog makes Molly miserable. She called me today and I could tell she was very torn about the decision. She loves Molly, but she knows that the cat is not happy and they are not willing to give up the dog. She's about 6-7 years old and is such a friendly cat that loves people and attention.

I have two cats, Teddy and Milo, who are both 3. We all lived together about two years ago when my friend and I had an apartment in college. Teddy idolized Molly when he was a kitten and they got along fine. Although, it has been two years. Milo never really warmed up to Molly, but that was probably my fault. I had to come home from college on the weekends (about a 40 minute drive) to work. Being that Teddy and Milo were so young, I took them with me back and fourth me. Teddy is fine with going new places, but Milo is my scardey cat that isn't too fond of change. He probably never warmed up to Molly because of the travel.... or at least that's my theory. I'm looking for some opinions there.

Basically, I'm a little torn myself for a couple reasons.
1. The health and happiness of my two cats is first and foremost. I think Teddy will be okay, but I'm not so sure about Milo.
2. Also, I live at home with my father. I haven't run the idea by him, but I know he'd be concerned that it would change the dynamic of "his boys." (I swear, they've melted his macho man heart)
3. I'm also a little hesitant because I know it's a commitment. I'm 25 and I know that at a point in my life where a lot of changes can happen in 10 years and I have two cats already.
4. My friend did agree to pay for everything, but I'm one of those people who doesn't count on that. I don't mean that to sound like I don't believe her, but you know how these things can go. It'll be great if she does, but if she doesn't that will be another added expense for me.
5. Molly has never been sick, but she's a very LARGE cat. If I did take her in, I would want to make her healthier and that could be a project.

I love Molly, she's a really a great cat. I'm happy that my friend has realized that her needs aren't being met and wants to do something about it. She said that she would never have to worry about Molly because she knows my cats "are treated like royalty." ... but this is a big commitment that I take very seriously.

I didn't mean to make this so long, but I would really love some feedback. Thank you for taking the time to read all this!

Here is Molly and baby Teddy.
 

bluerexbear

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Oh man, that is a really tough decision. I found that when I had 3 cats in the house, I really needed 4. That sounds nuts, but Chloe and Rex buddied up and didn't bother with Blue. Now that we have Juno inside, everyone seems to mesh better. There is always someone to buddy up with. Does that make sense?

Could you encourage your friend to wait a bit longer with the dog and cat together? When I got Rosco, Blue and Sissy were NOT happy. He was a puppy and just the absolute bane of their existences. It took both of them, especially Sissy, well over a year to adjust to him and start to like him. Now, he thinks he is a cat too.
Chloe loves him dearly (he tolerates her!). I think things will settle for the Molly and the dog in time, I truly do!

Here is a pic of Sissy and Blue when Rosco was a pup (Bahaha!)
 

MoochNNoodles

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That is tough. I do think it's harder to introduce adult cats; but not impossible. I know others here have shared some great advice on how to properly introduce cats. If they haven't seen each other in years it will be as if they never met before. But I do believe it can be done if you are willing to be patient and work at it.

One of my mother's cats takes quite a while to get used to new animals in the house. I think she would be happiest in a one-cat family; but because she has elimination issues they would never re-home her unless they were certain the person could handle her behavioral problems and wouldn't send her to a shelter. (She's really a sweetheart! The first cat I clicked with after loosing my furbabies that I'd had since childhood.)

We had 3 cats a few times and it's been fine. The first time my cat Tinsel was getting older so she preferred some alone time. The other 2 were closer in age so they spent their energy together when they wanted. Mom has 3 now; including the one I mentioned above. Again; the one cat likes alone time so the other 2 harass each other the most. That doesn't mean they don't torment her from time to time
but she gets em back too. Them and the dogs...hehe.

I hope that helps you some. Good luck in your decision!
 
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rianna

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Originally Posted by BlueRexBear

Could you encourage your friend to wait a bit longer with the dog and cat together?
If I don't take her, she might have to. All of Molly's needs are met, but I know she doesn't really pay attention to her. The dog sort of consumes her life since it's very demanding. I would take much better care of Molly... which makes me feel guilty that I'm not jumping at it. I'm hesitant because my cats have such great personalities and they are very content with the way things are.

Maybe I can try a trial with Molly?
 

my4llma

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I hope everything works out for Molly. She's a beautiful cat and deserves a good home
 

MoochNNoodles

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I suppose you could; but really introductions should be done slowly over a period of time. How long are you thinking? I would say even a week or 2 might not be enough time. If I get a chance I'll see if I can dig up an old thread about introductions. I think that would be in one of the health or behavior sections here.

I do think you all have a better chance at sucess following some of the guidelines you can find there. I've always thought some of the problems with my Mom's one cat was because we didn't get to do proper introductions.... Her first glimpse of the inside of the house involved a barking, jumping dog who was excited to see her. She spent her first few weeks hiding, locked in one room and then she went into another where she prefered to stay up away where the dog couldn't get near her. (Tasha loved the cats; it just took Bunny some time to realize Tasha was a friend.)
 

white cat lover

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I understand your concerns about taking on another cat at this point in your life. I'm in the same boat, and unfortunately I've already taken in a whole lotta kitties. Made my life complicated, not complaining as it's my own doing (and I love the kitties), but good for you to be thinking ahead.

Do they have any way to make it work? Baby gate off a room or floor for Molly?

Like others said - if you take her in it'll be like they don't know each other. What will happen is anyone's guess.

And you should be logical to think she's only 7 or so years old, she could easily live another 10+ years, how can someone guarantee they'll pay for her care for that long? What would happen if she gets something like renal failure, and they want her euthanized while you wish to treat her? All things to consider....
 

ducman69

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1) IMO, never ever rely on long-term cash payments, especially from friends as you will be reluctant to push them and it can hurt a relationship. Even if its a much smaller amount, ask for a cash upfront and that's it payment.


2) If you have two kitties that are best friends, the relationship could change with three in the club. I've heard of kitties that were super lovey-dubey because everything was right in their world become distant due to social issues with a new cat or dog. *shrugs*

Or they could all get along great, you have another entertaining kitty, and get to feel good improving its health and providing a home while simultaneously helping a friend. Since its such a major commitment though, it would be something I'd have to think on for quite a while.
 

kittehtime

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awwww...i think youre a great friend/person for considering all of the options and thinking of all of the animals. good for you.
 

Winchester

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It just breaks my heart when there's a cat in the household and the people get another cat or a dog and then, when there's friction, they get rid of the older animal. When are people going to realize that having a pet is a life-long commitment? Animals are not disposable!

My pet sitter did that and it was so frustrating. They had this wonderful cat, and then got the first dog. That wasn't bad and the dog and cat learned to live together. But then they got the second dog and that poor cat spent its time being chased throughout the house by the second dog. And by that time, the first dog they had figured out that it was great fun and started chasing her, too. And what did they do? They got rid of the cat! I don't understand; I just don't understand.

It worked out. One of my co-worker's GFs took the kitty and they are a match made in heaven. Those two are just inseparable now. She got another kitty so her first one would have company and the two cats get along very well. It took some time, but they're such a happy family now.

Bless you for thinking this whole thing through before making any decisions....it's the smart thing to do, both for Molly, who is just beautiful, BTW, and for your kids, who are also adorable. And for you, too, because I agree with Ducman in that your friend may have offered money for care, but that won't continue.

And bless you for caring!
 

sneakymom

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Jasper came from the neighbors.

My neighbor and her husband helped move his sister here. She had health and a host of other problems (one of them being hoarding). She had Jasper, and they were looking for an apartment that would take him. Well- the one they had fell through 2 days before they were taking her and all of her stuff back here. My neighbor tried to take him, but he was miserable and she was having allergy problems.

I really didn't want him. We've got 2 cats of our own, and at that time I had a feeling there was something going on with Sneaky- the oldest health-wise (I think it's her thyroid). I really didn't want to take in another 10 year old cat. But my neighbor looked at me and said "please" and there really wasn't another place to put him.

The first month was challenging. My 2 cats stayed upstairs, and all Jasper did was hide in the garage. When he'd come in, he'd hide under the sofa. That behavior finally stopped, but was replaced by spraying. Ugh. And to an extent he's still doing it, less than he used to (and I'm trying everything to break him from this habit)

My 2 cats have kind of grown attached to him. Holly seems to like him better than Sneaky. Holly was head-butting him today, I've never seen her do that behavior to Sneaky
It's better than what she did at first- which was sit in front of the cat door when he was in the garage so she could "pounce" on him


Cheryl

She did pay for his shots last year. And we got some food. But I wasn't expecting even that.
 
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rianna

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Well, it seems that my friend has decided to try and work things out with Molly a longer.


She told her husband that she talked to me about taking Molly... and he had the opposite reaction than what she was expecting. He went out and bought her new toys, a scratching post, and another baby gate to separate the cat's space a bit more. He was upset that she had given up and he is going to try to make things better. If things get worse, we might revisit the idea... but for now I am so happy that they are making this attempt. Molly is definitely worth it.


Thank you everyone for the great advice!
 

rafm

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I'm glad they are going to keep working on it.

If you have an opportunity, recommend to your friend they take their dog to obedience class. There is NO reason for a dog to chase a cat. I have a cat aggressive dog that lives peacefully in a home of 5 cats. How? Through extensive obedience training and behavioral modification. The young dog we adopted last year (a small min-pin/beagle mix) found chasing cats to be great fun. After a combination of obedience training and successful redirection (giving her a favorable toy to play with) resulted in a calm and peaceful co-existence.

It can be done. Just takes some extra work.
 
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