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Jealous female

post #1 of 4
9/22/11 at 4:48pm
Thread Starter 
We have a female Siamese that we rescued about 4 years ago. She's an indoor/outdoor cat (pretty much does as she wants). About 4-5 months ago someone dropped off (we think) a young male skinny cat. He now has a new home, he's the sweetest thing. The only problem is the female. She likes him as long as I'm not around. We can't even allow him in the house. If I try to pet him while she's around she tries to swat him. I've seen them playing together if I'm in the house. It just seems to me that she doesn't want to share me with him. She's acting like a jealous child. Is that possible? If so, what can I do to change her/my behavior?

Thanx

Teresa
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post #2 of 4
9/22/11 at 6:51pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by itsmeteresab View Post
We have a female Siamese that we rescued about 4 years ago. She's an indoor/outdoor cat (pretty much does as she wants). About 4-5 months ago someone dropped off (we think) a young male skinny cat. He now has a new home, he's the sweetest thing. The only problem is the female. She likes him as long as I'm not around. We can't even allow him in the house. If I try to pet him while she's around she tries to swat him. I've seen them playing together if I'm in the house. It just seems to me that she doesn't want to share me with him. She's acting like a jealous child. Is that possible? If so, what can I do to change her/my behavior?

Thanx

Teresa
What follows is just my and experiences. There is nothing you can really do about it. You just need to feed the "dominant" cat first, pet the "dominant" cat first and so on. As long as there is no blood shed I would not worry about it.

I would suggest as long as she does not injure the male cat you allow her to swat him. She will either tire of doing it or he will learn to not expect affection when she is around. Lastly by keeping the female cat outside when the male is around that will only make her more "angry".

I know to many of you this will sound cruel but trust me that is how I got my DSH Shadow to coexist with all my other cats .
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post #3 of 4
9/23/11 at 12:50pm
Thread Starter 
for your reply. She hasn't hurt him, just the swats and he backs off. I really wanted to invite him in the house but I can't see how it will work with the way she acts. I will take your advice and appreciate it. (First time cat mom)

Teresa
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post #4 of 4
9/24/11 at 2:20pm
Agreeing with Cat Person. The trick is to supporting the resident. Much petting, love etc, so she knows she is still the nr one in your love and the hierarchy.
The petting and love not always easy - the resident may be concentrated on looking on the newbe...
But that is the general idea.

When you Teresa said the resident is like a jealous child it was a good picture. And the remedy essentially the same. Although it is more difficult to plead or talk reason with a cat.

A trick may be, when her favorite human (you?) cuddles her, your husband can cuddle the newcomer...

If she swats without drawing blood it isnt so bad. This is their way of "teaching". If she were really adverse to him she would have claws out.
Im sure you can take him in with time - even rather soon, as long as you let her feel she is nr one in love and hierarchy. As said.

The swatting is by the way partly a reminder to him he is still nr two, so he wont get wrong ideas only just because you do cuddle him sometimes.
Reinforcing who is the master, and who is the second is important for them.
(and also for human boys, like seen in schools).

He wont suffer so much as one perhaps thinks. HE knows very well he is number two, and she is the resident in charge.


Good luck!

ps. Welcome to the Forums!
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