My mom is gone.....

My mom passed away this past Saturday. It was a shock, because despite having terminal cancer we thought we still had some time left with her. We believe she had a stroke caused by a blood clot following a procedure she had done a week ago.

I have sat suspended in disbelief and the grief is overwhelming. I am at a loss of what to fill my time with now. She had been a huge part of my everyday life and her care had consumed every free moment I had.

I do not know how I will get through the viewing and her funeral on Friday, I pray for strength and courage. I want to face this as graciously as my mom did knowing she was terminally ill. The loss of a parent changes you in a way that is hard to explain.

I miss her, my heart is broken and I just pray that her family welcomed her into heaven.

I miss her so much, my heart just aches constantly. Thank you all for your kindness.

I was with two of my siblings last night for a long time. We listened to her favorite songs and we cried...ALOT. My daughter, neices and nephews were there with us and we hugged and amazingly enough my brother told a few really funny stories about mom.

My mother was such a beautiful person and she loved everyone openly and without reservation. She was always willing to forgive and forget. I want to share a letter I wrote for her, it was hard to write, but I am so proud of her, of the amazing life she lived.

Mom-

I hope you know how much we loved you, will always love you. We watched you go and all of us felt the shift, our world tilted. Now we wonder how we are going to make it right again. Looking around me I see people going on with life, something we will have to do without you and I’m not sure any of us know how we will do that yet. How do we get through the coming months and years?

There were so many things mommy, because all of us thought there was still time. We wanted to tell you things, to ask you things. How will we ever have summer without you making potato salad? What about family potlucks without your noodles? I don’t know how to make butterscotch pie and you have gone away without telling me. We were supposed to make strawberry jam. I wanted to watch you make peas and taters, to see you in the kitchen doing all of those wonderful things that only seemed to know how to do.

Cancer is such a scary, awful disease and it wasn’t fair you had to fight again. We had to watch you bear up under the enormous strain. You were so brave, so stoic about it all. You took all of it in stride and you never really stopped having hope for your miracle.

We are so very proud of you and your life, your legacy really is the five of us and the amazing job you did raising us on your own. We want people to remember you for the wonderful woman you were. The way your smile lit up a room and how much people loved to be with you. When people talk about you it will be with love and laughter, because you knew how to turn a phrase and make even the mundane funny.

We are all going to be ok, so don’t worry about us to much. You did your job and it made us strong and resilient. We all know you would have chosen to stay and be with us for a while longer, but sometimes the plan gets changed.

Mom, thank you for being who you were, thank you for every moment you gave to the keeping and care of your 5 children. We are better people for that and you being here made the world a much better place to be.

With Love,

Lisa, Anita, Anna, Joe and Fred




All of you here have ben so very kind and I cannot thank you enough. I even told my family and they send thank yous as well.