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I am different when I am a mom

post #1 of 16
9/11/11 at 12:06am
Thread Starter 
Last night I had the rare dinner out with one of my sons. We were going up (I was behind my son) some stairs on the way to the restaurant when this "gay" person started hitting on my son. My first reaction was to hit this person on the head with my purse.
I didn't, but just watched, trusting my son to handle the situation. I consider myself quite a liberal and tolerant person but this time sure brought an unexpected reaction from me.
When we sat down for dinner, my son told me he was ready to punch the "weirdo" down the stairs. I just changed the subject and went on to talk about facebook.
What do you think?
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post #2 of 16
9/11/11 at 5:30am
I guess most of us guys have never had the chance to get good at doing what our ladies have had to do all their lives, right?
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post #3 of 16
9/11/11 at 10:27am
Just curious, how old is your son? It's good that he could handle it himself, whatever age.

I know the feeling you are talking about - seems suddenly there are lots of young men eyeing our 13-year-old daughter (!) when we are out. It's pretty unnerving but she's almost as tall as me now and is an attractive young woman; she doesn't dress provocatively at all so what can I say.

The guys haven't started hitting on her yet, not while I'm around anyway, but I DO love the service we get in stores now! As soon as we walk in, there's ALWAYS a young man asking if he can assist us, LOL!
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post #4 of 16
9/11/11 at 3:07pm
Why feel so violent about a gay person "flirting'? Simply indicate in some way that the interest isn't mutual.
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post #5 of 16
9/11/11 at 4:20pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by spudsmom View Post
Why feel so violent about a gay person "flirting'? Simply indicate in some way that the interest isn't mutual.
It's probably not that he is gay, but maybe similar to the feelings a dad would have watching a guy hit on his daughter. Just uncomfortable.
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post #6 of 16
9/11/11 at 4:48pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trouts mom View Post
It's probably not that he is gay, but maybe similar to the feelings a dad would have watching a guy hit on his daughter. Just uncomfortable.
I don't know. That's not the impression I was given from the post. The son wanted to punch the "weirdo". I doubt he would have felt the same way had it been a woman "hitting" on him.

It's so sad that in this day and age that there are still such feelings of hostility towards gay and lesbian people.

IMHO there really should be no difference in how you feel whether it be a woman or a man expressing interest in you. If you are not interested, just simply say so.

I've been hit on by a woman more than once. All I do is tell them that I'm flattered but I bat for the other team.
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post #7 of 16
9/11/11 at 5:01pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Natalie_ca View Post
I don't know. That's not the impression I was given from the post. The son wanted to punch the "weirdo". I doubt he would have felt the same way had it been a woman "hitting" on him.

It's so sad that in this day and age that there are still such feelings of hostility towards gay and lesbian people.

IMHO there really should be no difference in how you feel whether it be a woman or a man expressing interest in you. If you are not interested, just simply say so.

I've been hit on by a woman more than once. All I do is tell them that I'm flattered but I bat for the other team.
I agree 100%.

I even think I was hit on by a woman before, but sometimes it is hard to tell. I was in Ulta and she stated that I smelled very nice (my perfume). I thanked her for her compliment and she kept coming around, but after a while I think she figured out that the interest wasn't mutual.

There is no reason to be hostile. If you are honest and tell them how you feel they usually will not pursue.

It shouldn't matter if you are black, white, purple, orange, American, Chinese, European, gay, Lesbian, etc. Just because a person is different doesn't make them bad. I don't understand why there is always so much hostility directed towards this group in particular.

We are all only human, after all.

I think that when situations like that occur it is best to discuss them with your kids. That way you can get a feel for how they feel about it and it may prepare them better should it occur again. Had the situation gotten worse then I would have taken other measures to ensure that my point came across.
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post #8 of 16
9/11/11 at 5:37pm
People are people it is that simple. If you you are not interested in a person of the same sex simply say as other people already said you pitch for the other team . Or something to that affect.

I have been hit on by both men and women. I tell the women I am very flattered but I am not into them that way, and I am sorry.

But there is no reason to get upset with anyone hitting on you unless they do not let up when you indicate your disinterest.

Lastly Mrblanche I love what you said , it had me for real .
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post #9 of 16
9/11/11 at 9:40pm
Usually when my mom and I go out to eat, they assign a cute waiter to come flirt with us (my mom is a big tipper and evidently looks the part). So we're pretty accustomed to the waiter hitting on one or both of us. One day at the sushi place, the waiter was flirting with my brother (who isn't gay). . .we told him it was about time he had to deal with it too!
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post #10 of 16
9/11/11 at 10:15pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by yayi View Post
My first reaction was to hit this person on the head with my purse.
I have to say that unless you would also be inclined to smack a woman who flirted with your son with your purse, you may not be as "tolerant" (I hate using that word to describe treating people like humans) as you think you are.
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post #11 of 16
9/11/11 at 11:52pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cat Person View Post

But there is no reason to get upset with anyone hitting on you unless they do not let up when you indicate your disinterest.
That is what was happening!!! My son was shaking his head and showing he was not interested but this guy kept on getting closer like he wanted to kiss him!
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post #12 of 16
9/12/11 at 4:35am
Quote:
Originally Posted by yayi View Post
That is what was happening!!! My son was shaking his head and showing he was not interested but this guy kept on getting closer like he wanted to kiss him!
With that being the case...at that point that is when you simply walk away and ignore them.
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post #13 of 16
9/12/11 at 4:47am
Quote:
Originally Posted by yayi View Post
That is what was happening!!! My son was shaking his head and showing he was not interested but this guy kept on getting closer like he wanted to kiss him!
Now that is COMPLETELY different. That is when you say something like "I am not interested in MEN." Or "I am NOT gay, got it". You know something that makes it crystal clear .

I still would never hit a person, but I can see why your son considered that gay man a freak. Since if I found a particular lesbian who would not take the hint a bit off putting.

But take heart your son must be very sexy, since gay men have good taste normally .
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post #14 of 16
9/12/11 at 6:49am
I've been hit on many times by women. It doesn't bother me, actually it's flattering to be hit on by anyone. It's a compliment!

My DD is 14 (and looks 20). If she was being hit on by a woman, I'd giggle, as would she, if she was being hit on by a man, I'd (and have) asked him "do the words jail bait mean anything to you?"

On another side, some of my best girlfriends are gay men.
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post #15 of 16
9/12/11 at 8:10am
It doesn't matter if it was an aggressive gay man who was hitting on your son or an aggressive woman. "I'm not interested" means exactly that. While I definitely don't approve of smacking anyone, "No" still means "No".
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post #16 of 16
9/12/11 at 8:28am
I still have the same question and am wondering how old your son is... A teen boy would be much more ready to "punch" someone who questions his sexual orientation than a mature, grown man.

Nobody should "hit" on someone else in public, the only exception being if you are in a singles bar!
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