Dear the_food_lady, I know this post is quite old but I was wondering how the vet trip went. I have a very similar problem. I have 1 stictly indoor cat named JuJuBean. He started scratching when his brother died (Ozzy) and we thought it was stress, the vet did not seem worried. It began as ear scratching, followed by hair loss. No classic signs of mites, no smell, no black crude. I was using a shampoo and conditioner that seemed to help heal the scratch marks and regrow the hair. Today I came home to find him with watery eyes and hair loss above and below his eyes slightly swollen. He is also still itching at his ears. I also use febreeze and wondered if that was an issue with your cat? The only other thing I can think of is that we just started growing him cat grass on our balcony(third foor, he is also screened in, no contact with other animals) maybe hes allergic? I dont know, I just thought maybe you have a solution or an answer to what was wrong with your kittys since it sounds so familiar. I hope the vet dont find something horrible, hes the last kitty I have left. Its been a rough couple years with the loss of my 17 year old Patches and my other cay Ozzy who passed last year to the day.