Oh God I feel sick

I just saw this, I am so sorry for their loss, and will say a prayer and light a candle in his memory,

Oh no! This is awful. Prayers for little John and his family.

My prayers as well. This is truly awful.

I wrote this for my friend last night, seems like it took me forever:

Dear Lisa, Bill, Melissa and John,

I know that this letter will not be read for quite some time as you deal with the very pressing and sad issues that are in your life now. Life will become a blur as emotions churn past you and you will wonder where all the tears are coming from and why wonâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t they stop. Knowing first-hand the intense pain of losing a child, of a life so brief, and so innocent and fresh, I am acquainted with the questions circling in your heads right now, the anger, the feelings of betrayal the hatred, the loss. I know that you loved him deeply, that even as death cradles him you cannot let him go. I know the haze that surrounds you now and that you will meet each day with dread, wondering how you can possibly go on, how is this possible?

I said a special prayer tonight, and asked my son Jeremy to take your grandson Lisa, by the hand and watch over him. I know that John lives on, full and complete and out of pain and right now these words ring hollow on empty hearts. But in time, after the stages of grief have passed and left you spent and drained, you will start the path of healing and you will feel him around you even as the years spin by. Hours will turn into days, will turn into months and years and you will deal with emotions you have never before felt.

You have my heart, all of you. Melissa please know that John leaves you a legacy and he did not appear in your life by accident. John I know the ache, the anger and I pray for you. And Lisa and Bill hold on to each other and talk about this, and deal with this in the here and now, or it may destroy you in the future.

I leave you with a poem that was sent to me a long time ago and I committed it to memory. I hope I have remembered it correctly.

Thy Will Be Done


I'll lend you for a little while, a child of Mine, He said
For you to love the while he lives, and mourn for when he's dead.
It may be six or seven years, or twenty-two or three,
But will you till I call him back take care of him for me?

He'll bring his charms to gladden you, yet should his stay be brief
You'll have his loving memories as solace for your grief
I cannot promise he will stay, for all from earth return
But there are lessons left down there I wish this child to learn.

I looked this wide world over in my search for teachers true
And from the throngs that crowd life's lane, I have selected you.
Now will you give him all your love, nor thing the labor vain
Nor hate me when I come to call to take him home again?


I fancied that I heard you say, Dear Lord, Thy will be done,
For all the joys this child shall bring, the risk of grief we'll run
And should the angels call for him much sooner than we've planned
We'll brave the bitter grief that comes and try and understand.

-Edgar Guest-


Lisa call me if you need me, Melissa if you want to talk to someone who understands, you have my number- you all have my heart………….


With great sadness for your loss-


Mary Anne & Mike

my prayers to little John & his family.

oh Hissy .... I don't have any words ... you touched me with all those wonderfull words .

I just read this and I'm so sorry to hear of the passing of little John and the deep pain his family will have to go through. Your letter, M.A., was so incredibly beautiful and touching. My eyes are full of tears. I will pray that the Lord will comfort this family through this time of loss and give them peace. I believe we don't have to pray for John as he is in Heaven now and as you said, he does not have to feel pain anymore.

Where I live, parents of young children aren't allowed to ride along on life-flights for safety reasons, and I'm sure it's the same in Oregon. I can't even begin to imagine how absolutely horrible it must have been for John's parent(s) while he was being rushed to the hospital in Portland.

Oh gosh... just saw this.

How sad..

Prayers heading their way....

Oh no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He has our prayers. They have our prayers.

How terribly, terribly heart-wrenching.

I am so sorry.

I can't imagine how awful this is for your friend, and the pain of the memories it must bring back to you, Hissy. As I read your words
in the letter, I shed tears. I am so utterly sorry for the loss of John. The heartache must be unbearable right now. I feel really speechless though, as words never seem quite enough.

I'm adding my deepest sympathies and prayers, and also lighting a candle, over here in the UK for poor, little, John.
May God rest his soul.

Peace, Love, and Happiness, Always
Sonia

A poem, that may bring small comfort at this awful time :

DO NOT STAND AT MY GRAVE AND WEEP

Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am the thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you waken in the morning's hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of gentle birds in circling flight.
I am the soft star that shines at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry.
I am not there. I did not die.


Anon.

Mary Anne, I am sorry about little John. I don´t know what to say, this is so sad. I just wanted to offer my sympathy, and I, to, will light a candle for John and his griefing parents, other relatives and all others that knew him and loved him. This must be so unbearable difficult time for them. God bless little John.

Lisa wants me to thank all of you for your prayers of support. I went over there tonight and she wasn't there, so I just let myself in and feeling so helpless, just started cleaning her kitchen. Most of what was dirty was John-Johns and so I just did the dishes and wiped down the counter and put food into their :censor::censor::censor::censor: and freezer.

Then she came home and just grabbed me and hugged me and cried and cried and cried- it tore my heart in half. Please keep her in your prayers, as well as the mom and dad and the rest of the family.

Thank you and all of you who have loved ones in your life, just hug them close and let them know how special they are to you

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just read this!!!! I am SO very sorry to hear about this and my prayers are with you and your friend and her family!!! This is so tragic!!!!! I am so sorry to hear about little John....but he is in heaven with your son, my father and a host of others who will love him and welcome him. I am so sorry. Please give your friend my condolences. The letter you wrote was simply beautiful.

MA I already told you on the phone and on the email how sorry I am. This is just about the worst nightmare ever.... A few days ago, when I told you I wasn't feeling good, it was just after I had a very vivid dream about Ron falling from the 5th floor in some building. In the dream I looked over the balcony where he had been playing and saw his little body lying there on the grass. I don't think I ever felt so devastated in my whole life. I ran down the stairs screaming and crying and it all seemed so real. I remember I kept thinking "please God make this be just a nightmare, please let me wake up and find out it never happened - I'll do anything just to have my baby back". Can you imagine my relief when I did wake up? Anyway, this only being a dream it still shook me to the core. I think it's the worst nightmare I have ever had in my whole life.

Hearing about your friend's family going through this for real was just too much. I can't stop thinking about them - they are living a nightmare right now. I wish there was something to say or do - but other than pray there's nothing to do - no one can wake them up now.

It just breaks my heart - John was the same age as Ron. I can only imagine how cute he was and how attached his family was to him. Sigh...

By the way, this has made us decide to finally put a fence around our yard. Ron has already sneaked out of the house twice and he usually heads straight for the road. It's not a busy road and so far he never got there as we ran after him and caught him on time. But you can't be too careful with toddlers. I just can't bear the thought of anything happening to him. So tomorrow we're calling the pros and getting them over here to put up a fence this very week.

Anne and everyone-

I am glad you are all here so I can work this out. Some of you already know I went to the viewing today, but I was not strong enough to stay. I could not handle the reality of it, I thought that I could.

Anne, I am glad that you are putting up a fence. Accidents happen in the blink of an eye and then there are shattered souls left behind to figure out how to deal with what life has dished out. The kids are so young, the father saw it happen and blames himself, the mother who broke down blames herself. I hope they can survive the blame and come together and grieve, if not, I know firsthand it will destroy them slowly.

Hissy-

Your letter to John's parents/grandparents was so moving that I could feel my spine tingling as I read each word.

They are so lucky to have you for a friend!

It must have been so hard to go into their kitchen and clean up those painful reminders.

You are so strong.

Laurie

Oh, Maryanne! I am SO sorry to hear about the loss of your friends son, John. I just found this thread and have read it word for word —my heart aches for this family. I don't know if I could live another day if I lost my only son.

Your presence and compassion through this tragic time will give John's family strength. The words you wrote for them were powerful, Maryanne. I have said a prayer for Lisa, Bill, Melissa and John and for You, too. I will continue to keep you all in my thoughts and prayers.