I wrote this for my friend last night, seems like it took me forever:
Dear Lisa, Bill, Melissa and John,
I know that this letter will not be read for quite some time as you deal with the very pressing and sad issues that are in your life now. Life will become a blur as emotions churn past you and you will wonder where all the tears are coming from and why wonâ€™t they stop. Knowing first-hand the intense pain of losing a child, of a life so brief, and so innocent and fresh, I am acquainted with the questions circling in your heads right now, the anger, the feelings of betrayal the hatred, the loss. I know that you loved him deeply, that even as death cradles him you cannot let him go. I know the haze that surrounds you now and that you will meet each day with dread, wondering how you can possibly go on, how is this possible?
I said a special prayer tonight, and asked my son Jeremy to take your grandson Lisa, by the hand and watch over him. I know that John lives on, full and complete and out of pain and right now these words ring hollow on empty hearts. But in time, after the stages of grief have passed and left you spent and drained, you will start the path of healing and you will feel him around you even as the years spin by. Hours will turn into days, will turn into months and years and you will deal with emotions you have never before felt.
You have my heart, all of you. Melissa please know that John leaves you a legacy and he did not appear in your life by accident. John I know the ache, the anger and I pray for you. And Lisa and Bill hold on to each other and talk about this, and deal with this in the here and now, or it may destroy you in the future.
I leave you with a poem that was sent to me a long time ago and I committed it to memory. I hope I have remembered it correctly.
Thy Will Be Done
I'll lend you for a little while, a child of Mine, He said
For you to love the while he lives, and mourn for when he's dead.
It may be six or seven years, or twenty-two or three,
But will you till I call him back take care of him for me?
He'll bring his charms to gladden you, yet should his stay be brief
You'll have his loving memories as solace for your grief
I cannot promise he will stay, for all from earth return
But there are lessons left down there I wish this child to learn.
I looked this wide world over in my search for teachers true
And from the throngs that crowd life's lane, I have selected you.
Now will you give him all your love, nor thing the labor vain
Nor hate me when I come to call to take him home again?
I fancied that I heard you say, Dear Lord, Thy will be done,
For all the joys this child shall bring, the risk of grief we'll run
And should the angels call for him much sooner than we've planned
We'll brave the bitter grief that comes and try and understand.
Lisa call me if you need me, Melissa if you want to talk to someone who understands, you have my number- you all have my heartâ€¦â€¦â€¦â€¦.
With great sadness for your loss-
Mary Anne & Mike