Considering trying to take in a weird feral - help

I've semi-befriended a feral cat that hangs out at my condo complex and would like to try to take him in, but I'm extremely confused with his erratic behavior.

I've "known" him for nearly a year now, but our relationship is very on/off. He will let me within a few feet of him, but never close enough to attempt to pet him. I feel as though he knows who I am, but does not trust humans.

He seems to show up in the afternoons and evenings, and likes sitting and napping on the lounge chairs in the pool area that are in the shade. I think he spends the night here, but is never around in the morning.

Physically, he looks like he might be a few years old (I'm guessing 3-4), but is small, likely due to malnutrition. Outside of being skinny, he looks healthy and behaves as though he is. He uses a rock garden as a litter box and his stool looks normal (same as my mother's 16-year-old housecat).

As far as I know, I'm the only person at the complex who attempts to feed him. Strangely, he prefers the pool water (which is a lightly-chlorinated salt mixture) over water that I've put out for him!

I've tried to adhere to a regular feeding schedule in order to gain his trust, but it's not unusual for him to appear regularly like clockwork for a week or two and then surprisingly vanish for several weeks at time. For example, I did not see him for about two weeks, but when I recently returned from a 10-day trip, he suddenly appeared. He followed me to the mailbox on the other side of the complex and his behavior made it seem as though he was trying to get my attention. He would not run alongside me on the sidewalk, but followed me back home by wiggling between some shrubbery only a few feet away.

He seems to like whatever I offer him, from canned and dry food to pieces of whatever I grilled that particular evening. At first he did not like when I watched him eat, so I went inside and left him alone. Now, he seems more comfortable when I linger and talk to him from a safe distance.

I used to place food for him just outside the garage door and after awhile, he seemed to poke his head around when the door was open as if to be considering to come inside. But I changed the food location to a more hidden location under some shrubbery nearer my front door because I've noticed other cats hanging around and since they looked much larger and healthier, I did not want them to be taking his food. He recognized and accepted the new location, but I wonder if I should not return to the old one since it seemed as though he was looking to come indoors?

Something tells me he's had a rough life, but is capable of warming up. He's never exhibited any kind of wild, violent or aggressive behavior in my presence. In fact, I've never heard him utter a sound, which is why I've named him Mr. Meow. Perhaps he once had a home, and that is why he chooses to hang out at this complex where he can be in the general vicinity of humans - but not necessarily close to them.

Any advice or suggestions would be greatly appreciated - thanks!

My feral adults were like that at first... Momma Kitty is still a little skiddish, she will let me pet her head and neck, but will try to nip me if I touch the wrong spot. And the Male, Lucifer, I called him because he would let me pet him and then turn on me (that stopped after neutering. To gain their trust I sat every morning and night with a can of cat food and tossed bits of it a distance from me, then closer and closer until they were eating right in front of me. Always averted my eyes in the beginning as to not threaten them.

Thanks for the reply, morningrl! He is becoming more of a "regular" visitor over the course of the past few weeks and has displayed more of a trusting attitude, including permitting me to be closer to him physically. This new vantage point revealed to me that although he's small and slender, he's in very good shape for a stray/feral cat. His fur looks soft and clean and he's somewhat well-maintained. In fact, I'm wondering if he might not be someone's outside cat who likes to roam. He definitely doesn't look or behave like the other cats that frequent the area around my complex.

Originally Posted by Oceanfan

His fur looks soft and clean and he's somewhat well-maintained. In fact, I'm wondering if he might not be someone's outside cat who likes to roam.

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He may, it would explain why he disappears now and than. Although, successful semiferales do often seems very healthy, not seldom even thick.
This good health does of course helps them to be successfull. And we know he does have a safe source of food with you, and some protection too. He may perhaps have also someone else, your unknown cousin.

Is he a tom or is he already neutered? If his sacks are only small he is prob neutered.
Do you have residents?

First step should be for you to find if he has owners. With a not so shy cat the standard could be to set on him a message with your cell telephone number. IF he has an owner, the owner will see it and answer.

As he is too shy for it, you must set up messages around the neigbourhood. Say in the food shops around.
Use a cell phone number and your christian name, not your real adresse nor surname.

If you dont find any owner, you can proceed with your plans on taking him in, if such is your wish and possiblility.
Consider using a human trap. Trap - and release him in his room at your home. Easier and better than chase and catch him... And making yourself till his enemy.

If you have residents, you must have a quarantine the first time. Unless perhaps your cats are fully vaccinated and used to roam outside. When the time for them to meet comes, I dont think there should be bigger problems. Shy semiferales are usually submissive to residents, and eager to be pal with them. But safest he is neutered well before!
If you dont have residents, it is easier, but do have him in a room for himself anyway while you deparasite him, at least a couple of days. So you dont get fleas everywhere. This room will also be his first, safe room...

Anyway, seek after the eventual owner. Either the problem solved. If not,
we discuss taking him in again in greater detail. And of course, fostering.
Easier to foster when they are inside.

Good luck!


ps. IF it is hurry, you CAN first take him and, and seek the owner afterwards. This is in fact the standard procedure with probable fresh astray cats.

Good advice above. Also, if he is not neutered, he will definitely roam and be gone for days at a time. There could also be other "kindly" people offering him food, so he will frequent other feeding stations as well. Usually, (but not always...) if you get them neutered/spayed they will remain closer to a constant feeding station and not roam away for many days like that. Although, I do have a feral (TNRd) that will disappear for a couple of weeks and all of the sudden show up. Have no idea where she goes off too. Good luck with this cat!!!

I don't have anything to add to Stefan's good advice.

If he doesn't let you pet him, or hasn't gotten to the point of rubbing on you already, I'd be leaning towards him being a healthy feral kitty that perhaps other people feed.

We did have a stray that took a loooooooong time to warm up to us. But she was the exception, and she'd been on her own for at least a year (and she was 1.5 years - she must have escaped accidentally just after being spayed, because her spay scar was so jagged, the vet wasn't sure it WAS a spay scar when they shaved her belly. ). If the were recently dumped (or have current homes), they're usually friendly pretty quickly once they realize you're a source of food.

LOL, Feralvr and I were posting at the same time. More good points!!!!

Hi - I know it's been awhile, but I wanted to thank everyone for their comments, insight and input.  Everything was very much appreciated.  It took awhile and a lot of patience and effort, but I finally got close enough to learn that Mr. Meow was really Ms. Meow, and we got to be better friends, and it certainly seemed as though she was beginning to trust me, but alas, the best laid plans of mice and men...I've had a tumultuous past few months which culminated in a hasty, recent cross-country move.  Which means that I was ultimately unable to take my little friend in.     I feel absolutely horrible.  

Thanks for your update - much appreciated. I am sorry you had to leave Ms. Meow behind. Try not to worry so, I am sure there were other people in the area that were caring for her. Did you know any of the neighbor's before you moved? Maybe check back with them and see if someone could take on the care of Ms. Meow. AWWWW I am sorry about your hasty move and hope life will be good to you. You took good care of this kitty and she will miss you - but I am sure she will be just fine. Somehow they seem to know how to survive. She survived before you - and I am sure she will survive after your sudden move. Still hard on your heart, I am sure Vibes for Ms. Meow