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Please help if you can :)

post #1 of 18
9/2/11 at 5:48pm
Thread Starter 
Hi I hope I have put this in the right place sorry if I have not

for anyone that read ( Stepdaughter rant so mad grrrrrrrrrr ) I now have Roxie and Shandi at home and they are so unhappy it's killing me they hiss and growl every time I go into the room they want no part of me I've been makeing a lot of small trips in there as to not stress them more than they already are but as soon as I open the door they take off and start hissing and growling there so unhappy

Karla ( Stepdaughter ) is comeing in today to spend some time with them and with any luck introduce them to the boys I figger they will be carmer with her here but we only have 2 or 3 weeks before she is gone and I'm really worried they are so upset

Can anyone sugest anything to help me bond with them Ive always had kittens never adult kittys before and I just don't know how to help them they are so stressed out I new it would not be fun and games but I really thought they would be ok if I spent enough time with them but I'm not so sure now don't worrie no matter what they have a home with me forever I just want them to be happy I cry every time I leave the room it's terrable there so sad I hate it

Alll sugestions welcome Thanks in advance
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post #2 of 18
9/2/11 at 7:10pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jaspers Mummy View Post
Hi I hope I have put this in the right place sorry if I have not

for anyone that read ( Stepdaughter rant so mad grrrrrrrrrr ) I now have Roxie and Shandi at home and they are so unhappy it's killing me they hiss and growl every time I go into the room they want no part of me I've been makeing a lot of small trips in there as to not stress them more than they already are but as soon as I open the door they take off and start hissing and growling there so unhappy

Karla ( Stepdaughter ) is comeing in today to spend some time with them and with any luck introduce them to the boys I figger they will be carmer with her here but we only have 2 or 3 weeks before she is gone and I'm really worried they are so upset

Can anyone sugest anything to help me bond with them Ive always had kittens never adult kittys before and I just don't know how to help them they are so stressed out I new it would not be fun and games but I really thought they would be ok if I spent enough time with them but I'm not so sure now don't worrie no matter what they have a home with me forever I just want them to be happy I cry every time I leave the room it's terrable there so sad I hate it

Alll sugestions welcome Thanks in advance
Find out from your stepdaughter what the cats favorite food/treats are and toys.

My not so standard answer for how to "make friends" with the cats is make them hungry. Yes, hungry . Why you ask, well if you make the cats wait 24 hours or only feed them when they are in your presence that will help them "learn you are a source of good things".

Also I would recommend you keep them in a smaller room with less hiding places. Or put each in a dog crate (water, towel, litter box). Then only feed them in the crate when they are acting calmly. Or ideally only feed them when each will let you touch them. So that way the boys learn your a source of "good things" aka food.

Hope that post made sense and if you need any clarification do not hesitate to ask .

P.S. These cats where not feral acting with your daughter correct?
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post #3 of 18
9/2/11 at 9:46pm
It just takes time. Roxie and Shandi are still getting used to their new home.
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post #4 of 18
9/3/11 at 5:34am
Quote:
Originally Posted by yayi View Post
It just takes time. Roxie and Shandi are still getting used to their new home.
I wouldn't recommend the visit from the step daughter. That will just confuse them more. Let her be out of their lives permanently now. And they certainly aren't ready to be introduced to your cats yet.

Install a feliway plug in diffuser in their room.

Just go in there a few times a day and just sit there quietly reading a book, to get them used to your presence. They've had a rough time and it is going to take time for them to adjust. Slow and easy.

Keep the step daughter away from them, it will only upset them to see her again and have her disappear again.

Thank goodness they are with you, they'll adjust with lots of time and care.
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post #5 of 18
9/3/11 at 7:38am
Im going to have to disagree with CatPerson on this. I would never withhold food. What i have done in the past is come in with a very special, smelly treat that they only get when i am in the room with them. Tuna, dried fish, etc. And they probably wont come to you at first, no matter what you do. Just toss the treat into the area where they are and make no other moves But leave the treat for them when you leave if they dont come out for it while you are there. You want them to taste it so the next time you come with it, they are a bit more interested.

Put a blanket or article of your clothng with your smell on it in the room. This will get them familiar with your scent. And just go in the room and sit with them quietly. You can talk to them in a low, hushed voice occasionally but mostly just hang out with them. Dont attempt to pet them or reach out to them. Just calmly talk to them if they begin to approach you. Let them make the move for first contact. You'll be able to tell when they are ready.

It can be a slow process. Your home is full of new smells, noises and people. Cats are very sensitive to these things. I once had a kitty spend 2 months in a room by herself before she was ready to be a part of our family.

Good luck!
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post #6 of 18
9/3/11 at 8:18am
Quote:
Originally Posted by RAFM View Post
Im going to have to disagree with CatPerson on this. I would never withhold food. What i have done in the past is come in with a very special, smelly treat that they only get when i am in the room with them. Tuna, dried fish, etc. And they probably wont come to you at first, no matter what you do. Just toss the treat into the area where they are and make no other moves But leave the treat for them when you leave if they dont come out for it while you are there. You want them to taste it so the next time you come with it, they are a bit more interested.

Put a blanket or article of your clothng with your smell on it in the room. This will get them familiar with your scent. And just go in the room and sit with them quietly. You can talk to them in a low, hushed voice occasionally but mostly just hang out with them. Dont attempt to pet them or reach out to them. Just calmly talk to them if they begin to approach you. Let them make the move for first contact. You'll be able to tell when they are ready.

It can be a slow process. Your home is full of new smells, noises and people. Cats are very sensitive to these things. I once had a kitty spend 2 months in a room by herself before she was ready to be a part of our family.

Good luck!
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post #7 of 18
9/3/11 at 9:14am
Thread Starter 
P.S. These cats where not feral acting with your daughter correct?[/quote]

No they adore her very loveing with her
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post #8 of 18
9/3/11 at 9:16am
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by otto View Post
I wouldn't recommend the visit from the step daughter. That will just confuse them more. Let her be out of their lives permanently now. And they certainly aren't ready to be introduced to your cats yet.

Install a feliway plug in diffuser in their room.

Just go in there a few times a day and just sit there quietly reading a book, to get them used to your presence. They've had a rough time and it is going to take time for them to adjust. Slow and easy.

Keep the step daughter away from them, it will only upset them to see her again and have her disappear again.

Thank goodness they are with you, they'll adjust with lots of time and care.
Well time and love I have pleanty of thanks it just kills to see them so upset
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post #9 of 18
9/3/11 at 9:31am
Thread Starter 
A big thank you to you all everything you guys have said makes good sence I'm just a bit freaked out I've never had this before they have a chair in there that smells like me and the boys so that should help and I will definatly try the tuna don't know why I did not think of that der me the boys are walking stomics why should the girls be any diff I have no brain somedays I will dig out some jumpers and tops of mine and hubbys and lay them around the room see if that helps and I'm going to try sitting in there and reading once or twice a day and we will see how we go


Thanks to you all it might seem silly to some but I'm lost I've always had kittens who as you know most love anyone who love them as kittens do
It's so strange haveing a kitty that growls and hisses at me I find it very unnerving so all your help is so apprushiated thanks again I'll let you's know how it goes
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post #10 of 18
9/3/11 at 2:51pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jaspers Mummy View Post
It's so strange haveing a kitty that growls and hisses at me I find it very unnerving so all your help is so apprushiated thanks again I'll let you's know how it goes
I once rescued a kitten out of an overgrown backyard with a nasty, aggressive dog within inches of it. It was malnourished and it's eyes were matted shut. He couldnt have been over 3-4 weeks old. I bottle-fed him, wiped his eyes with warm water, picked every flea off his filthy, dirty coat and got up every 2 hours all night long to feed him. By the morning he was able to open one eye and when he did, he HISSED at me. He was so tiny it was hysterical.

They will come around.
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post #11 of 18
9/3/11 at 3:45pm
As Otto and RAFM said, absolutely do not make the cats go without food. Cats get fatty liver disease if they're starved and from what I understand, it doesn't take long to develop. Heck, with their naturally acidic tummies, cats become nauseous if they go too long without food (for my cats, "too long" is just under ten hours!), never mind starved for a full 24 hours.

Patience and gentle persistence are the key to winning a cat's trust. Sounds like these guys have been through an awful lot, so they're going to need some quiet time for sure. You've received a lot of good suggestions here for winning their trust so I've nothing to add to that except - there's a thread around here somewhere that talks about introducing cats, and there's also a subforum on working with ferals (I know these guys aren't wild, just scared, but some of the same info should apply). I'm sure if you combine the recommendations from all these sources, you'll be just fine.

Hang in there, honey!

AC
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post #12 of 18
9/3/11 at 8:21pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jaspers Mummy View Post
It's so strange haveing a kitty that growls and hisses at me I find it very unnerving
I've rescued quite a few of those and I will never get used to it. It also makes me feel a little sad. Like when you tell someone you like them, only to be pushed away.
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post #13 of 18
9/3/11 at 8:49pm
Also, with the whole clothing thing....put a dirty smelly (like you) t shirt RIGHT UNDER their food dish. That way they will associate your smell with good things (food). Let us know how it goes!
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post #14 of 18
9/4/11 at 7:37am
Hissing and growling is a kitty's way of communicating, that's all. They are saying "I'm scared of you, I'm scared of this place, my whole world is turned upside down. this place smells like strange cats and I'm scared. STAY AWAY".

That's all they are saying. They will soon learn, with your gentle ways, that they have nothing to fear. It will take time, but there is no reason to take it personally.

PS My Jennie girl hisses and growls all the time, it's her normal way of conversing, a habit she picked up from who knows how long of surviving on her own (and raising a family on her own, too) She's just never gotten out of the habit of swearing at everything and every body. None of the cats or I pay any attention to it anymore. In fact the other cats often tease her to chase them, just to hear her swear.
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post #15 of 18
9/4/11 at 2:56pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by otto View Post
...
PS My Jennie girl hisses and growls all the time, it's her normal way of conversing, a habit she picked up from who knows how long of surviving on her own (and raising a family on her own, too) She's just never gotten out of the habit of swearing at everything and every body. None of the cats or I pay any attention to it anymore. In fact the other cats often tease her to chase them, just to hear her swear.
What a funny visual, Otto! A mouth like a sailor, eh?

(I can kind of empathize with the old girl. Despite many years as a civilian, the "colorful" language I picked up while in the military is as second nature to me today as it was back then. )

AC
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post #16 of 18
9/4/11 at 3:42pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Auntie Crazy View Post
What a funny visual, Otto! A mouth like a sailor, eh?

(I can kind of empathize with the old girl. Despite many years as a civilian, the "colorful" language I picked up while in the military is as second nature to me today as it was back then. )

AC

Yes, Jennie swears like a sailor, that's what I always tell her!

The other cats were quite taken aback by it at first. Then one day Jennie was dressing out Tolly something terrible. He just sat there and stared at her in amazement while she went on and on hissing and growing and spitting, she might have even made a Marine blush!

Then.....right in the middle of it...she yawned. I laughed so hard I had to drop to the floor. And for weeks afterwards every time she swore I would remember the yawn and laugh again. Even now, almost our years later, it still makes me laugh.

AC, allow me to extend my thanks and gratitude to you (and your family) for your service to our country, which trickles down to service to me and mine.
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post #17 of 18
9/4/11 at 4:08pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by otto View Post
Yes, Jennie swears like a sailor, that's what I always tell her!

The other cats were quite taken aback by it at first. Then one day Jennie was dressing out Tolly something terrible. He just sat there and stared at her in amazement while she went on and on hissing and growing and spitting, she might have even made a Marine blush!

Then.....right in the middle of it...she yawned. I laughed so hard I had to drop to the floor. And for weeks afterwards every time she swore I would remember the yawn and laugh again. Even now, almost our years later, it still makes me laugh.
That is freaking hysterical. Gotta love cats and their delightful little quirks.

AC

Quote:
Originally Posted by otto View Post
AC, allow me to extend my thanks and gratitude to you (and your family) for your service to our country, which trickles down to service to me and mine.
Ah, I'm touched, Otto. You're welcome, of course, but in truth, it was my honor to have had the opportunity.
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post #18 of 18
9/4/11 at 4:36pm
Yes, the hiss doesn't always mean very much. Ella does it toward ZZ, and he just blinks at her and says, "How could you not love cute adorable me?" And he always goes back.

You will probably be surprised how suddenly this will change, once the cats decide you're not going to hurt them.
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