On Tuesday morning, my OH passed away from a fatal complication of a disease that had finally done enough damage to take his life.
We were not married for personal reasons but in our hearts we were bound to each other. His family and my family all just accepted we were married in heart.
I have been with him for over 5 and 1/2 years. This man changed my life for the better. Gave a woman (me) that was beat down by life a chance and gave her the world at her disposal to heal and move forward. The only man I ever felt safe with.
We are all still in shock and grief and there are very many things to think about. Me and the kitties and ferrets are going to need to find a place to live, this house we can't afford on just my income (SS disability). But there's no rush. There's just so much to be done as far as everything in here and around. We'll have time though to go through it all..
The blessing is it was fast and he did not seem to be aware of what was happening during the parts that could have been painful had he been lucid.
I said my goodbyes to his body at the funeral home on Wednesday which helped me tremendously with closure as the last time I saw him alive it was when the paramedics came to our house that morning. I'll be getting his ashes soon and I have some idea of what I would like to do.
I'm kind of scatterbrained and sometimes I don't make sense and I forget what I've told who so please bear with me in the days to come if my posts are a little iffy...
Here is a video tribute I made:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0wDTohkbn3g
And here is his obituary, written by his Mom:
http://www.molesfuneralhome.com/inde...uary&obID=3309
The nights are the hardest in this house that seems way too big for me now. I haven't washed the bedsheets because I want to hold his pillow and smell him and pretend it's not true.
We were not married for personal reasons but in our hearts we were bound to each other. His family and my family all just accepted we were married in heart.
I have been with him for over 5 and 1/2 years. This man changed my life for the better. Gave a woman (me) that was beat down by life a chance and gave her the world at her disposal to heal and move forward. The only man I ever felt safe with.
We are all still in shock and grief and there are very many things to think about. Me and the kitties and ferrets are going to need to find a place to live, this house we can't afford on just my income (SS disability). But there's no rush. There's just so much to be done as far as everything in here and around. We'll have time though to go through it all..
The blessing is it was fast and he did not seem to be aware of what was happening during the parts that could have been painful had he been lucid.
I said my goodbyes to his body at the funeral home on Wednesday which helped me tremendously with closure as the last time I saw him alive it was when the paramedics came to our house that morning. I'll be getting his ashes soon and I have some idea of what I would like to do.
I'm kind of scatterbrained and sometimes I don't make sense and I forget what I've told who so please bear with me in the days to come if my posts are a little iffy...
Here is a video tribute I made:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0wDTohkbn3g
And here is his obituary, written by his Mom:
http://www.molesfuneralhome.com/inde...uary&obID=3309
The nights are the hardest in this house that seems way too big for me now. I haven't washed the bedsheets because I want to hold his pillow and smell him and pretend it's not true.
Now he's an angel watching over you until you're together again 
I can't even begin to imagine the pain you are feeling... I am here anytime you need to talk, feel free to PM me. 
to get you through this time. My deepest sympathies.
. I am heartbroken for you and the grief you are enduring. I am truly, truly sorry for your huge loss. It is obvious you were so much in love and he loved the pets very much too. I don't even have words.... Just lots of prayers for you that in time you will find the strength to go on. Your memories are your forever 
my prayers for his soul...
