How do you know when to let go?

totorocat

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I've been heartbroken and crying about this on and off all weekend now. I'm beginning to think that my childhood cat (who lives with my parents) is at a point where he should be put to sleep.

Stripes was diagnosed with CRF about a year ago. I go home every week to give him his fluids, but I can't help but notice that his condition has deteriorated so much lately.

Besides losing a lot of weight, over the past year, he grooms himself less and less. (Our vet said he also has arthritis, which is contributing to his not wanting to groom.) I think he completely stopped sometime in the past 2 months, so now I've also been cleaning him with damp towels and baby wipes.

Despite all his health problems, he's always retained some of his "Stripes"-ness, and would always follow me around whenever I was at home, and would jump on my lap at the first opportunity.

This past week, when I went for my weekly visit, he refused to sit in my lap. I know it's silly but I just started crying so hard when that happened. He hasn't wanted to sit in my lap or anyone's lap for a couple of months now, and it has always been his favorite thing to do. He also used the litter box and got poop all over himself, which he tried to clean off, but couldn't because I guess it hurts too much for him to stretch that way.

I don't know, I'm just so heartbroken. I realize I'm doing all his basic functions for him.. the IV fluids, his grooming, wiping his butt (sorry, it's gross but someone's gotta do it), and he has even lost interest in his favorite activities. I can't help but think his quality of life is not good right now.

I'm beginning to think it's time to put him to sleep. But I don't know if that would be the right thing. He is more than 17 years old, but I still wonder if it would be "too soon." Maybe he's not suffering as much as I think he is. I just don't know what to do. I can't stand the thought of never seeing him again (crying right now just thinking about it) but I also am so sad at his condition right now..

When did you know it was time?
 

nonay

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Hi, I'm sorry about your cat Stripes. I am going through the same thing with my kitty Moe. He is one 9 or 10 years old and just got diagnosed with kidney failure 2 weeks ago. That is great that your cat has lived a year since being diagnosed! That is good. I hope my cat can live that much longer, at least...I can't really help you with your question much, because I don't have the heart to put my cat to sleep either. I still haven't been able to let go of him, even though he is in real bad shape. He still purrs when I pet him. I just can't do it, but I don't want him to suffer. Its a very hard decision. I am just waiting until I know in my heart that the time is right. Until then I am doing everything I can to make Moe happy.
 

jbsmomto1

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aww I'm sorry....I think when the time is right (not that it ever is but ykwim?) you will just know. Deep down in your heart of hearts, despite the pain and brokenness of said heart, you will just know. The questions will be gone and you will just know....
 

luvmyparker

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If you're questioning it, then the time is probably soon. Like jbsmomto1 you tend to just know. The cat will let you know too. Animals just seem to look at you like they are miserable and just want to go peacefully. Take a good look at Stripes. Look in his eyes and see if you see the life in them they once had. If his eyes look tired and lifeless, then maybe you can pick a day to have him put down and spend the remaining time with him, giving him love.

I wish the best for you both during this difficult time.
 
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totorocat

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Thank you all for your kind words. *hug* I'm going to make a vet appointment for Stripes and talk at length with his vet about it. In my heart, I know that he is going to pass away soon (whether by being put to sleep, or naturally). I'm going to focus on giving him all the love and attention I possibly can while he's still here.
 
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