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New Here and need help w/my cat!

post #1 of 10
Thread Starter 
Hi there...I'm new to this forum...

I have an adult 1 1/2 year old male tiger cat, Spicey. He's a wonderful cat and loves me dearly...well, at least up until yesterday! My husband I decided to adopt a kitten (female) to be company for Spicey (we had adopted Spicey back in Feb '03 and he used to live w/2 other cats). Well, I have kept the kitten isolated in one room as many experts advise. I also rubbed the cat to get it's scent so that Spicey can smell her, etc. he hangs by the door where she is and just sits there...occasionally hissing through the door. I honestly am not as worried about him accepting her as I am him accepting ME!

Ever since (well, it's been a day now), I've tried to give him affection by petting him and giving him food and treats and talking to him alot. He's a big cat and can be pretty intimidating at times. Well, he's hissed at me a few times now when I try to pet him and he's swatted at me, too.

I'm at such a loss...I love my Spicey so much and I realize he is not very happy right now w/the new kitten, but I want my relationship to be just the way it was with him before. I would be able to pick him up and hold him...he'd come by and sit on my lap or sleep w/us...now, he doesn't want to be bothered w/me.

Help!I'm so sad and distraught over this. Will he hate me forever? has this happened to anyone else???
post #2 of 10
give it some time. These things take alittle while. Neo wasn't happy at all when all the kittens came along but now everyone is friends It will be okay! You might just smell like the kitten right now and that might be upseting him.
post #3 of 10
Thread Starter 
Thanks...I just feel so bad and I want him to know I still love him very much...
post #4 of 10
How long did you keep the two isolated? And Val is right, it is to soon for the adjustments to be made. I would suggest that you change clothes and have just spicey clothes. Take an old set of pants and shirt and let spicey lay on them and get his scent on them and wear those only when you interact with Spicey. Wear another set when you are with the kitten to keep the smells isolated.

Also take some vanilla extract and put a little on each cat, under their chins, between their shoulder blades and at the base of their tail. Also you wear some too on your wrist and neck.

But if you see Spicey peeing/pooping outside his box, not eating, moping around acting off get him to the vet quickly! Is Spicey neutered? If not, please neuter him also or he has the potential to hurt the new kitten in a bad way.
post #5 of 10
Thread Starter 
I have kept the two cats isolated for a day so far (I just the kitten, Selena, yesterday) and have read that they should be separate for at least 48 hrs...I'm going to see how Spicey does today and tomorrow...I might keep the separate longer, depending.

What does the vanilla extract do?

Spicey is neutered, so we're all set there. so far, he's been eating fine...I have tried to pay special attention that he gets fed first. I will try to have "just Spicey clothes"...I noticed this a.m. that after I got out of the shower and wore new clothes, he was "somewhat" more receptive to me, though still cautious.

Thanks for all the advice...I'm probably going to be on this forum a lot now! I need the help and support.
post #6 of 10
YIKES! I know just how you feel!!! It can be sooo heartrending to see a cat upset with a new cat/kitten brought in. I went through that three times so far with my 5 cats so far. Before I explain about my cats, here's some general information about introduction-

With time, patience and love, things will work out. I recommend you check this link out- it has a lot of info on how to introduce a new cat to the old cat. 24 hours/48 hours aren't enough time before introducing the cats to each other. It takes up to a month or so. Please read this..


First I got Zebra (9 mths old) for Sunniday (11 yrs old- I adopted her from another family which already had 2 other cats) so Sunniday wouldn't be lonely during the day while I work especially with her being used to having other cats around in her previous home. Well, Sunniday was soooo upset- she was hissing her head off at me and Zebra and wouldn't come near me. At that time I was not aware of this website and I didn't keep them isolated or introduce them slowly. Luckily Sunniday didn't hurt Zebra physically. For the rest of Sunniday's life, they were not best friends but Sunniday was willing to put up with Zebra and sometimes would play together. Sunniday also acted normal with me after a couple days.

I got Spike and Buddy for Zebra after Sunniday was put to sleep due to having CRF and that was the EASIEST introduction EVER! Let me tell u! Spike and Buddy were only 3 weeks old when I brought them home. By then, I was already a member of this wonderful site and had read up some on what to do for introducing. I was planning on putting the boys in the bathroom then start introducing over the next few weeks. Well, I got the kittens out of the carrier so I could clean it out and prepare to move into the bathroom. The two toddled off toward Zebra and before I could get to them, Zebra sniffed them then instantly started licking them! I was soooo shocked!! She immediately accepted them and adored them. Guess she wanted to be a mommy. So I didn't go through the introduction process with the boys for Zebra!

I adopted Pepper and introduced her very slowly to my other 3 cats over several months. Zebra accepted her immediately but it took my boys a while to accept her. They hissed and swatted at her if they saw her and also would hiss and run away from me if they smelled her on me so I would remove clothes used with Pepper and don fresh clothes before spending time with the boys and noticed they hissed a lot less. Now the boys adore Pepper also.

All four cats are constantly cleaning each other, cuddling together, chasing each other and wrestling!!

Keep us posted and we will support u in any way we can! Hang in there!!
post #7 of 10
Also to answer ur question about vanilla extract- from what I'm told from the cat sages here it makes the cats smell the same and cats are less likely to be aggressive due to having the same smell.
post #8 of 10
I have nothing to add to all the great suggestions. Just give it time. I know you feel so bad about upsetting Spicey, but hopefully it'll just be temporary, and he'll be back to loving you in no time. And he'll be happy to get a new playmate
post #9 of 10
Thread Starter 
Well, I think today proved to be a much better day than yesterday with our cats. sorry for the details, but this
way you get to see their reactions...

First off, I fed Spicey and hung out with him when I got home last night. I then used that technique of putting
vanilla extract on Spicey and myself. After hanging out w/Spicey for a while, I went to Selena's room and hung
out with her...putting the vanilla extract on her, too. Afterwards, I took a shower b/c it was hotter than heck!

Since my scent was "clean" of Selena, I think Spicey was more receptive of me...I put the vanilla on me, too.
Spicey actually slept in our room last night on my nightstand. that was such a good feeling to have him there w/us.
later on...earlier in the a.m., he actually came over to me and lied next to me for a little while (awwww...I have a
tear in my eye thinking of it!)

This a.m., I first fed Spicey and petted him for a bit. Afterwards, I went to Selena...gave her medicine, fed her,
etc. and played w/her for a while and then took a shower. when I got out, I could hear Spicey at the door...I
could have sworn he might have hissed once, but it's hard to tell behind closed doors. anyway, I tried to clean up
the bathroom and get everything situated before me leaving her in there...next thing I hear is Spicey scratching at
the door at about the time I was about to leave. So, I put Selena in the carrier and opened the door...Spicey came in
and sniffed around...keep in mind that now all 3 of us are now wearing that vanilla extract. I think he was a little
more comfortable today. I kept the door to the bathroom open while Selena was in the carrier...that way, I could
air out the bathroom and also allow Spicey to come in and out while I was getting ready.

He seemed much more himself this a.m. he was even running around. I called him to the kitchen for some treats
and he ate a bunch of them! and he let me pet him...didn't hiss at me (thank goodness!)

I really think the vanilla extract works...it's the fact that we all smell the same, so it's not as threatening to Spicey
or Selena. I still believe we need to keep them separated for a while, though.

Keep crossing your fingers that everything continues to go well!

post #10 of 10
Hi there,
I know just how you feel about not wanting your older cat to be upset with you. Simba, my 7-year old cat who has been "my cat" from the start, was very displeased with we got our kitten. It has been 9 months now and things are slowwwwwly becoming genial again.
I have to share a funny story with you though. Simba has always made a point of hissing at Buddy (the kitten) and recently my husband went into the bedroom and caught Simba licking Buddy's head! Well, as soon as Simba realized he was in the room and was watching him, he quickly hissed at the kitten and jumped off the bed in disgust! We had a good laugh over that one.
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