is this neglect or am i just too cat crazy?

There's a guy in my townhouse building with a very cute calico kitty Tabitha. She is the sweetest thing, just purrs, purrs, purrs around everything (including but not limited to just me).

He's an alright guy I guess, nice enough to have a beer with once in a while, plus I have cats and he has a cat so we talk about cats (among ordinary day to day stuff). I have some concerns with how he treats this kitty though, so I'm going to tell you guys a few things, and you lt me know if this qualifies as negligence.

Tabitha is 4 and in her first home (he is 2nd home she's had) she was indoor/outdoor. We live in a hustle and bustle city with many cars so I worry, especially since he often lets her out, then goes to work (only to let her in again when he gets home that night, if she's around when he gets home). He lets her out as a punishement sometimes because she did something wrong or p!ssed him off in some way. A few weeks ago, we had a massive heat wave, he let her out at about 4am, and then we didn't see her for about 3 days. I had to help him look for her. We never found her but she eventually came home. More often than not, when he let's her outside, no food or water is provided. I usually bring out water for her.

He went away for the weekend and I was suppose to feed her, but he accidentally locked his door, so I couldn't get in to freshen water or provide any food (he did provide food prior to leaving). When I called him and told him that the door was locked and that the manager could drop by and unlock it, he said don't worry about it, Tabitha will probably be fine.

Anytime he has a guy over, the cat gets the boot, without any food/water supplied outside. He just opens the front building door and "out you go!"

Although Tabitha is an indoor/outdoor, she is not up to date on any vaccinations (whether they be for rabies or outdoor parasites). He has had her since April and it doesn't seem like a vet appt is in the near future.

Yesterday, Tabitha almost got ran over by a car. This group of people rang my buzzer with tabby in tow because 1G wasn't answering, and they were shook up. He didn't answer because he was at work. I left a message on his voicemail explaining what had nearly happened, his response via text: HAHA my cat is so stupid sometimes.

How do I know all of this? We're friends so he tells he what he does because he doesn't see anything wrong with how he treats. it makes being friends difficult for me.

Am I being too worry-wort or sensntive about Tabitha or is he doing soemthing wrong?

Yes I know it could be worse, he could beat her or intentionally withhold food (instead of what he does do, which is not think of providing it) but it bothers me to no end.

Where we live, technically to provide no food, water, or shelter for an animal outside is neglect.

But of course, "it's just a cat."

I think it's neglectful and irresponsible. I'd probably be caring for her if it were me.

While I'm not sure it's neglect, it's definitely irresponsible. Maybe you could put food & water out for her??

i usually do when i know she's out there (unless we're talking about the times he puts her out at 4am, i only know about those after the fact, when's he tells me what he's been up to).

I'd have a serious discussion with him on how to handle a cat because it doesn't sound like he's had one. And if he was a good enough friend, I'd tell him to get his head out of his ass and start treating her better.

I don't have a lot of friends.

It is neglect to me. I don't like it one bit and I'm angry, poor kitty! He obviously doesn't care about her if he is letting her be outside with no food and water and doesn't even care that she had no food the weekend he was away from home. If I lived there I would just feed her and give her water myself.

It is not deliberate abuse, but certainly thoughtless neglect and he needs educating. But if he refuses to let her in when he has a friend over or when he goes away, then maybe his lifestyle means that a cat is not for him. I would vertainly have some heart to heart talks with him and if necessary show him som online Catcare articles. Or introduce him to this site.

Its seriously neglectful IMO. I cannot imagine just putting a cat outside and leaving it all day long. Of course I dont feel cats should be outside at all, there are a few exceptions to this, but thats another thread.

Your neighbor obviously does not understand how to care for his cat and poor Tabby is paying the price for that ignorance. I would likely be caring for her myself and definately educate him on proper animal care.

Originally Posted by LDG

Where we live, technically to provide no food, water, or shelter for an animal outside is neglect.

But of course, "it's just a cat."

I think it's neglectful and irresponsible. I'd probably be caring for her if it were me.

Click to expand...

TOTALLY neglect. Poor little darling.

That is neglect! You don't treat someone you love (human or other) like that

in the past I've tried explaining cat care in a way that doesn't seem like I'm judging him or I'll put it back on myself and volunteer to do things. I have mentioned in passing a low cost pet clinic, usually met with a "when I get around to it" look.

Originally Posted by mscatamaran

in the past I've tried explaining cat care in a way that doesn't seem like I'm judging him or I'll put it back on myself and volunteer to do things. I have mentioned in passing a low cost pet clinic, usually met with a "when I get around to it" look.

Click to expand...

A number of people suggested trying to educate this guy. I assumed you'd already tried. Some people just see pets as... animals, and they're there for their amusement or entertainment when convenient. No amount of "educating" will make them care more.

Originally Posted by jennyranson

It is not deliberate abuse, but certainly thoughtless neglect and he needs educating. But if he refuses to let her in when he has a friend over or when he goes away, then maybe his lifestyle means that a cat is not for him.

Click to expand...

its this. He bought Tabitha on a whim, he had recently moved out on his own for the first time and when to Petco to look around one day. And then he saw Tabby near the backend of the store (where the usual adoptables are) and he made the decision right then and there.

Now I'll admit that getting my third cat was a whim purchase as well (well not a purchase, I adopted from someone who was fostering her, they found her) but my first thoughts, my first priorities are their happiness and comfort, even over my own sometimes. But yes, buying Tabby, was no different then him buying an IPOD. Its just something he can listen to (or cuddle when he'd feeling vulnerable) and then put back on the shelf, (or kick out for the night) when he's finished.

When she's let out, I sometimes hope that she'll peel her collar off and find a new home, a better one filled with love. I have a friend that wants me to call the ASPCA, but I don't know what the heck they'd do. Our APL just had a mass cat giveaway with the fee waived. Thats how many cats need homes. While it bothers me, Tabby's home life is just not bad enough to be taken away. Plus she's almost 4, so is she gonna get adopted, or will she just sit in a cage and be lonely.

I agree. I wouldn't call the ASPCA. I'd just do what I could to take care of her when he isn't. BTW - any way to introduce her to your cats so she can come inside when it's pouring or freezing?

Originally Posted by LDG

I agree.

I wouldn't call the ASPCA. I'd just do what I could to take care of her when he isn't. BTW - any way to introduce her to your cats so she can come inside when it's pouring or freezing?

Click to expand...

there might be a way but she's indoor/outdoor and not up to date on her shots. My girls are indoors only so they don't have any of the shots protecting against outside parasites/etc, wouldn't that make them vulnerable if Tabby had something?

Originally Posted by mscatamaran

there might be a way but she's indoor/outdoor and not up to date on her shots. My girls are indoors only so they don't have any of the shots protecting against outside parasites/etc, wouldn't that make them vulnerable if Tabby had something?

Click to expand...

Yes....unfortunately your indoor kitties would be vulnerable. You would want to vaccinate them first if you were planning on coaxing Tabby inside. The getting your kitties used to a new house-mate part is tough and can be time consuming, but it is definitely possible and worthwhile. I went through this same situation last year and earlier this year. Your neighbor sounds EXACTLY like my neighbors......and I ended up with a total of 9 cats for awhile due to their neglect and lack of care. I feel awful for poor Tabby, it sounds like she would be much better off with you, just be forewarned that people who acquire animals like new toys will usually end up getting another one and lose interest in that one too. Lots of good vibes in your direction, I know exactly how you feel.

If i were you, I'd vaccinate her myself while he's out on a weekend doing whatever, start introducing her to my cats, feed her on my porch and inside my house and I can guarantee you that eventually she will be spending more time with you than him.

Now whether at this point he gives up the cat to you and you praise with joy because you know she won't get run over by a car, or whether he complains and you say 'well, maybe she stays over because I treat her better' is anyone's guess.