If Your Kitty Were Human

LMAO I love this thread. Its awesome!

Hmmm since I have a fudge pile of cats this is gonna be a while. And brutally honest.

Gigi would the the mean girl. No lie she is completely two faced and snarky too.

Hercules would be the lazy stoner never doing anything but eating napping and pooping.

Bacon would definately be a cheerleader and always yapping and talking up a storm.

Ramsie would be the class clown and local ditz.

Stinky would be the girl hiding under the bleachers at school smoking cigarettes hanging with the boys.

Crocadilly would be the quarterback and all around good boy.

Tubba Wubba would be Bacons bff and a good hearted troublemaker.

LOL Stinky is our farms bad girl. Shes always in trouble and talking back getting into stuff shes not supposed to.

I think Dorothy would be a bit of a bad lady. In and out of prison a few times over the years for shoplifting, maybe joyriding, some drugs perhaps. Nothing huge, just petty stuff. She'd be the old lady who hangs in the bar all day from opening time til 7 when Jeopardy comes on (or is it Wheel? I forget), chainsmoking away. She can be a sweet lady though, just a bit rough around the edges.

Genever is such a girly girl. I don't think she'd be a cheerleader, but definitely shopping at the mall for all her clothes, lots of pink stuff. Quiet most times, even though she is very friendly, but she knows how to have a good time too, and always wants to look her best.

Patches would be a laid back easy going guy. He would have a job that pays the bills but he wouldn't be putting any effort in doing much more than that. He would be the guy that always has a house full of buddies over for the game and there would be a lot of beer.

Alice would be the prissy one. Her house would always be clean and everything in its place. She would be a stickler for details at work and always looking for a way to get ahead. She would be very good at office politics no one would get anything over on her. She would be the one finding a way to step over someone else at work.

Honestly, Bowser would be a goofy class-clown type who does poorly in school because of his terrible ADD. I NEVER thought a cat could have attention issues, but he really does! He can only play with toys that make noise or else he gets too distracted, and if more than one person talks to him or there are too many noises going on at once, he moves his head in circles because he can't follow!

Spaz would be a retiree obviously "Get off my lawn you kids!"

Baby is quite full of herself, and very vocal (and loud!) as well as active, I think she'd be a PE teacher, or maybe a personal trainer. A real hard liner with a soft heart.

Jade is very quiet, even her loudest cry is barely more than a tiny squeak, she loves everyone. I think she'd be a librarian, maybe nursery ward nurse.

DH & I do this all the time!

Marge=a bit mentally imbalanced and perhaps criminally dangerous.

Loki=Just plain crazy, with a foot fetish. Would probably get arrested for fondling a woman's foot in public.

Leo=Has anyone seen my silk cravat and the keys to the wine cellar?

Rosie=Redneck single mom, but still would care for her kids as best as she could. Waiting for that special knight in shining armor to come along, and take her away from the poverty and the trailer park.

Nixie=He's arrived! Oh, be still, my beating heart...AND he loves her kids! Movie-star handsome, but down-to-earth. Always wanted to find the right girl & settle down. Yes, that neutering incident was unfortunate, but now he has a ready-made family!

Little Miss=An amateur fashion model, but not conceited--just very sweet. Will get out of the modeling field when the right guy comes along; and then they'll have a 4 bedroom/3 bath colonial in the suburbs, with 2.5 children. Note to this man: you MUST buy her expensive jewelry. Trust me.

Lucie=Snob. Thinks she's minor European royalty, conveniently forgetting her redneck origins (see Rosie, above).

Kara=The sweet, but shy, girl next door. A little rounded in appearance, but very pretty--and those big, round, gentle eyes would make a man melt. As will her special chocolate chip cookie recipe. Could get anything she wants from her man when she puts on an apron and cooks up a batch.

Gemma=Tomboy. We hope to someday get her into a nice dress, and to stop climbing trees. Maybe she'll get interested in boys someday--and not as touch football partners.

I've always wanted to write a graphic novel about my cats--with them having back stories and human personalities. It started with Rosie & Nixie when I first got her and her kittens. She was feral, and must've had an awful life. I always imagined Nixie winking at her, saying,"Well, HELLO, lovely lady! What brings you here?" Rosie would be thinking in a cartoon balloon, with scenes from her previous life--the good-for-nothing men who got her pregnant, and left; the humans who threw things at her and yelled at her to get out of their yard, etc...and then, her thinking hearts for Nixie, then showing them "dating", etc.

I seriously think I spend TOO much time with them...

Geez...I read the other posts, and I think we have enough material for a cat soap opera: As The Bizzy Ball Turns!

Wesley would be a loud soccer sports caster wearing lots of bling and living it up. G-G-G-G-GOOOOOOOOOOAL!

Buttercup would run a day care since she likes taking care of everybody.

Oh, this is fun I have 4 cats so here goes

Ramsey would be in prison. He would be either a street thug or a white collar criminal. He steals anything not nailed down. He would be my best friend

Hoot would be a dowager princess.

'Bitz might also be in prison but it would be for hacking something. The Pentagon maybe. She is involved in every aspect of computing, up to and including running the copy machine. Yes, she knows how to work the copy machine.

Dear, sweet Swiffer would be running her own school on etiquette. Things need to be a certain way and everything has to be done daintily.

I know all my cats would've been good humans. Actually they wouldn't be old enough to work yet, they'd still be in school Lynxx would've been going into 5th grade this September he'd have been 10. Luna's 1yr and 3months and Midnight just turned 1, so they'd still be at home, to young even for school

Da Lip and Jack - most likely chairmen of the board.

Da Magpie - some mobster's moll

Blue - likely a tart on the stroll

Hissy - a strange old lady hermit

Tippy - a dignified gentleman of mysterious means

Zabbie - the mobster for the aforementioned moll

Splash - a feline Billy the Exterminator

I love reading about all your cats' personalities!!

Holland is very quiet and she likes quiet, I'm pretty sure she would be a librarian. But she would prefer a job like shelving or checking materials in instead of working directly with patrons since she's very shy.

She wouldn't have a lot of friends, but she would be very loyal to those who are close to her. She might be married if she met the right guy - one who appreciates her independence, likes to discuss books and current topics, is a good cook, and would rather give her a hug than flowers.

She would definitely be a homebody, she would much rather go home after work than go to happy hour. But she would enjoy having coffee or seeing movies a time or two a week - with a friend or even by herself.

Trout would be a baaaatch.

Kairi is just a baby, so he'd probably be the kid that always gets in trouble for getting up and talking in class. He's also the one who wouldn't care if he got into trouble. He'd also be the small kid that even the big kids were afraid of, judging by my dogs reaction to him.

ohh, I like this thread!

Monet would be laid back with an "I don't care" Attitude and spends his time mostly to himself.

Picasso would be the annoying girl, always wanting to be involved and annoying people because she's so persistant!

Picasso would be a cheerleader! And class president, and on the debate team, and a roving reporter for the school newspaper...

Matilda would be the stern old lady who doesn't put up with any nonsense.
Gracie would be the shy one who barely says "boo" to anyone.
Casey would have a job as a Superviser and would make sure everyone is doing their job right. Either that or a greeter at WAL-MART.LOL.
Charlie would be one of the guys that's always in trouble.

Great thread! SO much fun to read about everybody's kitties this way!

Gary and I are going to have to think about this a bit.

I am loving reading everyone's responses!

I'm glad that Dot isn't the only one with a petty crime, white trash sort of lifestyle... (When not sitting in the dark, smoky bar, she'd sit on the front porch yelling at the neighborhood kids) Maybe she even had some kids, but social services took them away years ago, or she put them up for adoption when they were born. Not quite sure about that one..

OH this IS a great thread and I will have to ........ HMMMM

Let's see.

Pipsqueak - Well he would be the class clown, always talking and telling jokes, always having to be first, and he would be the guardian of his classmates. When he would grow up I think he would be a great police detective , because NOTHING gets past him - he is aware of everything that goes on.

Perla - Seriously, she would be a princess of some country. With people waiting on her hand and foot. She also wears her heart on her sleeve and doesn't hold back any emotions. She has that face of disgust down pat, and can just give a look and you know you better do something. What a combo an emotional, demanding spoiled

Perkins - He would be an introvert to the max. A trouble maker though, but blame it on someone else and get away with it too. He would like to be a scientist and work with bugs.

Presley - He would be a Bellman at a hotel, he loves to greet people and is so helpful with everything. Although, he might drop alot of people's luggage and then fall on those people's luggage and expect to be tipped no matter what

Wendall - Well, I am still getting to know him. But he would be the quiet kid in the back of the classroom, not real out-going, but if you make him mad, watch out - all bets are off then. If you can get past his brick wall, he is a real card and quite funny. He would probably be a Chef when he grows up, a BIG FAT CHEF!!!! This boy loves to eat

Walden - He wants to be a politician when he grows up. Everyone would vote for him - he knows how to get what he wants but goes about it in a real sweet way. Just a smooth gent that everyone loves and everyone listens when he talks.

These descriptions are really cracking me up!

OK.

Billy would definitely have been the trouble maker in school, but the one that all the teachers love. He'd be one of the most popular boys, a total social butterfly. He'd probably go on to do something like marketing XBox games - something really fun where he got to socialize a lot.

Chumley was a quiet kid in school, just a good boy. He's Billy's best friend in school, his sidekick - and probably becomes his assistant, holding down the fort and keeping the office in order while Billy markets games.

Shelly was a total nerd in school. One of those kids that shot up really fast, and was very gangly and uncoordinated, and telling jokes that no one gets, a real goofball. He probably pretended he was a killer whale for like a year in grade school. He joined the drama club, but wasn't talented enough to act, so he helped make the scenery. But little kids love him and he makes everybody feel good about themselves, so he was popular despite being a nerd. He's really patient with kids, so he became a grade school teacher. He's passionate, but not smart enough to teach high school. Still has a pocket protector for his pencils and he's always pushing his glasses back up on his nose.

Ming Loy was the kid with the back and leg braces, and the most amazing attitude. Mean kids made fun of her and she could care less, nothing ever got her down. She overcame her handicap to become a champion for those with handicaps and now runs the Cerebral Palsy Research Foundation.

Spooky was the damaged, quiet creepy kid that no one understood. She didn't make friends because she was so clingy. She was a tattletale and kids said she had cooties. She grew up to be a beautiful young lady, but a feminist. One of those women that would rather vote for a criminal woman than a qualified man. She's a political activist.

Tuxedo was the class bully in grade school. He's the kid that disappeared for like a year due to his serious illness, and everyone wondered where he was. When he came back to school, he focused that aggression into sports, and became a fabulous wrestler and defensive linebacker on the football team. He went on to become a professional rugby player.

Flowerbelle was the prissy little know-it-all. Like Feralvr's Perkins, she was also a troublemaker, but always blamed someone else and never got caught. She became a real haughty flirt and cheated on her boyfriends while pretending to be a total angel. She wanted to become a Congresswoman but her past caught up with her, so now she's a lobbyist for the fashion industry.

Lazlo is the aloof kid, the old soul who just grooves on doing his own thing. He has a few close friends and isn't part of any clique but gets along with everyone. He doesn't really care what other people think about him, and was in the chess club and loved inventing things. He's always been fascinated with UFOs, and now runs SETI.

My David certainly would be Niles Crane (Frasier's brother, from the tv show Frasier), in every way. And yes, David Hyde Pierce is a gay man in real life. Handsome, fastidious, gentlmanly, kind, sweet, proper, intelligent, dapper..or else he would be a famous NYC choreographer of Broadway musicals.

Lilly is totally a hot flashy chica type of Spanish gal, ( just like that lady on the tv show Modern Family, SofÃ:censor:a Vergara, or perhaps like a Rosie Perez), drop dead Gorgeous, dark hair, red nails, lots and lots of flashy jewelry, makeup, vocal, loud, aggressive, smokin hot, with 8 inch stiletto heels... takes sh*t from NOBODY..

Jake would be a world-famous soccer player.

Buddy would have been a bully as a kid but then would grow into a loving, caring family man. However, he'd probably be the 5 finger discount king, jacking anything he could from the stores and never getting caught.

Parker would have been a mamas boy and probably a home body. He'd have a shop on his parents property, doing carpentry.

Sami...well seeing as how she hates life and everyone around her, she'd probably be a cranky lady, living in a small, hoarded shack way back in the woods as far away from society as possible. No one would know she existed.

Love this!

Riley would be a gay, British man.

Fred would be the fat kid everyone loves.

Cleo would be a princess. She is sweet and loving but, she expects you to beg her for her attention.

Bogey would be the sweet old man everyone wants to help.

Simon would be that bully that just hadn't met his match just yet.

Claire would be the sweet, innocent girl that still believes in Santa.

What wonderful fantasies! This is such fun!

Dylan was a troublemaker and a bit of a bully in his youth, but he got a serious scare when a boy he'd hit fell into a three-day coma. "Scared straight," Dylan reformed overnight. After that, it was honor society and student government all the way. He earned a degree in Criminal Justice, joined the police force, and worked his way up to Chief of Detectives. Along the way, he developed an innovative program for stopping juvenile delinquency in its tracks and became a popular consultant to police departments throughout the country. Now semi-retired, Dylan is writing a series of crime novels based loosely on his own experiences. His first book, "When The Fur Flies," will soon be a major motion picture starring Harrison Ford as Sergeant Dylan.

Sassy was the youngest of five siblings, adored by her four older brothers and always most comfortable in the company of men. At 18, she ran away to marry her first boyfriend, a long-haul truck driver whose stories of the road were far more romantic than the reality. A year later, while her husband was in the men's room at a truck stop, Sassy hopped on a bus heading for New Orleans. She sang in smoky blues clubs for a few years, but eventually fell on hard times and went to work for a friend who owned an elegant, old-fashioned brothel. There, she serves as a genteel hostess, dressing in vintage gowns and favoring the clientele with an occasional Billie Holiday song. Sassy goes upstairs only with a select few gentlemen of her choosing, and she truly loves her work.

Hmmm... I'll have to give the rest some further thought...

Haha! I think SOME of our members have a future writing fiction!!!