Wedding Etiquette

Thank you notes for the gifts you receive from them, or to the people who host them on your behalf?

I say yes on the notes though others may disagree. An informal, flat notecard or a single-fold notecard with a quick thank you is probably best for the gifts you receive, and I'd say you can skip the "work how I will use it into the thank-you note" part since it's probably lingerie. (Ex. "Thank you for the picture frame! We will be using this for one of the wedding-day pictures of your side of the family, and it will look perfect on our shelf." Don't think you want to go there with a sexy bra & panties. ) To thank a host, I'd get an actual gift.

I'm not sure if you're the bride, or if this answers your question, LOL! Hope it helps!

I'm not sure what you mean? Are you asking if you should send any or within what period of time they should be sent?

Thank you cards should be sent for all shower / wedding gifts, including presentation at a wedding.

Thank you cards should be done sooner than later while it's still fresh in your mind. However, within the week is also suitable.

There are some things that are just time honoured and not dictated by changing seasons. Courtesy thank you notes are one such thing.

Hand-written for sure. I'd rather not get a note than get a form thank-you note! The only exception would be if the word or phrase "thank you" is printed (as in decoration) and a hand-written note were added.

You send one. Even if there is a pre-printed "Thank You", you must hand write something thanking whomever signed the card for their gift. It did take me a month to get mine in the mail.

I've gotten a few weird thank you notes lately for Christening and and childrens' birthday parties.. It's been a preprinted photo that says thank you, but no name of who it is from. OK, I can identify the child in the photo, but they didn't even put a return address, their name or personalize it at all.

Hmmm... classy.

They're cute when they're Christmas cards with the little "Happy holidays from X family!" over on the side. But unsigned? No text at all? That is weird!

I think this kind of moving away from traditional wedding etiquette is a direct result of how much money is being spent on the wedding. For the brides that I've been "maid" to or been otherwise involved in their wedding, they think they are doing the guests a favor by throwing them a big party! Well, hey, that's YOUR choice, girlfriend! You know how much money people have to spend on gifts for weddings every summer during certain years of their lives? (Like, say, their entire twenties and thirties!) Take a minute and write a thank-you note.

I have no problem with the Christmas ones. At least those have a name on them.

Definitely hand written.

If I take time out of my lifet to go and spend my hard earned money on a gift. The least the bride to be can do is take a bit of time out of her life to acknowledge the gift and the thought with a personalized note thanking me for my gift (and naming it).

The note can have a lovely "thank you" pre-printed on the outside, but the inside should be completely hand done by the bride.

Geez, sounds to me like someone is going overboard and reminds me of brides who want all the hoop-lah but none of the responsibility.

Notes should be handwritten and sent in a timely fashion. As mentioned, we who take time to gift would appreciate if the recipient took the time and effort to acknowledge the gift.

That marriage won't last. It's already off to a rocky start.

Some years ago in the mid 1980's I was asked to be in my cousin's wedding as a bridesmaid.

His fiance called one day and asked if I would be available on a particular Saturday to go with them to pick out bridesmaid dresses. I said I would be available.

Two days later I get a call from her saying that the Saturday appointment is off and that she has already picked out the dresses (!!). When I saw them I nearly threw up! It was an above the knee dress and they were the ugliest shade of tiel. The material was tafeta and they had a huge bussel (bow) at the top of the butt with a cowel type front.

I was about a size 16 back then, and when I turned side ways, between the boob bump, the stomach bump and the bussel butt bump, let's just say it wasn't a pretty sight!

The dresses were also outrageously expensive, something like $175.00! Despite my misgivings about the dress I went to the bridal shop and paid for my dress.

A few days later she calls me again saying that she found the perfect paif of slippers for the dress, and that they needed to be dyed the tiel colour. The slippers were $100.00 and the dye job was going to be $150.00 per pair!

She was also having navy blue parasols (who puts navy with ugly tiel?!!) and that she was going to pay for those in addition to the flowers.

Not long after the slipper incident she calls me again and tells me that we'll have to pay for our own parasols and flowers. I had already sunk $425.00 into her wedding. She knew I was working at a low paying job and just barely able to support myself, yet despite what she said in the beginning about keeping costs in line, she wanted carte blanche on my bank account.

I told her that I wasn't in a position to pay out anymore money than I already had. And that there was still the hair appointment that I had to pay for (she wanted everyone to have their hair done the same way).

She was really upset about that, and I reminded her of what she said about keeping the costs down.

A couple of days later my cousin called me. He told me that they wanted to have a social (It's a Manitoba thing where you buy tickets to go to a huge hall party with a DJ and a liquor bar. The money raised helps the bride and groom pay for their wedding). The best man typically puts the wedding social on.

However, the best man was unemployed so my cousin asked me to front the money for the social. That would have been hall rental, liquor bill, tickets, food, DJ etc. When I refused I was told I wasn't a good sport and that I was trying to ruin their wedding.

I was promptly uninvited from attending their wedding.

A couple days later his fiance called me again and asked me to take the dress back to the bridal shop so that her replacement bride's maid could pick it up. I told her that the dress had been altered to fit me and that the shop would not refund my money and that I wasn't taking anything anywhere until I was paid for it up front. She kept telling me that the girl would pay me after the wedding social. I told them to forget it.

I got paid for the dress (cash), upon her picking it up.

That was the last time I ever said yes to being involved in someone's wedding beyond that of a guest.

On the card included with the gift, write what the gift was, then after the wedding just go through the cards and send out the thank you cards with a personal message on each which refers to the gift and how you will be able to use it/appreciate it.

The same should be done for a shower - baby/wedding. Get a friend (baby shower) or maid of honor to write on each card what gift was given. It makes doing the thank you cards that much easier.

I would say hand printed,unless alot of people.Where your hand will cramp type thing lol.
I am getting married this Saturday and hand printing all my thank yous,Yet i am only haveing about 20 ppl.

Thank You cards for a Bridal shower need to be sent before the wedding. Handwritten, personally written to each person.

My kids hate having parties, the thank you writing makes them crazy.

For my wedding I went with the girls and let them pick their dresses, in the color of my wedding (Kelly green). heck-the dresses were theirs, why would I force them to get something ridiculously expensive when I only paid 700 for my big white foo foo dress? (Considering the lace and detail on my dress, and the layers of pure foof matter, 700 was cheap!)
Dying slippers and all the falala is silly IMO, what the heck is someone gonna do with those dyed slippers after the wedding? One of my girlfriends had her girls wearing matching shoes, bags, jewelry, and hair thingys. (The 80's and 90's were the era of accessory) I'm pretty sure she was so OCD as to require matching underwear. I was asked then unasked when i told her what I thought of all the requirements, then having to pay for a bachelorette party? I think not.

Parasols? I'm sure they were, um, pretty.

Well, fiddle-de-dee! I do deeeclare!

My wonderful husband also wrote a personalized message in each and every "thank you" note... the gifts were given to the both of us!

If I spend my time and money giving someone a gift, the least they can do is say "thank you." If someone is too busy to say "thank you" then the next time around, I'll be too busy to buy a gift.