Reality TV Show - Hoarders

http://www.aetv.com/hoarders/video/?...=1057891732001

Usually, I can't get angry about a mentally ill person, because... well, they're just sick.

But half of the people on this show just make me so angry. Some, like Steven, clearly have no attachment whatsoever to the garbage and aren't hoarders and are just unbelievably lazy just throwing trash to their sides as they eat in bed (no job, on disability even though he's walking around town like a champ, free rent). And the Augustine one blames everything on someone else and can't even muster a simple thank you... oh, and apparently one of her cats died, and was buried under all the garbage and she didn't even notice.

Oh, and I read an article that talked about the cost analysis of a single hoarder, and with all of the health inspectors, child protective services, lawyers, code people, police, psychiatrists, organization experts clean-up crews, etc that have to come out can add up to over half a million dollars to deal with just a single hoarder.... and most of these hoarders are unemployed to boot. And most of the time it seems that they just destroy the property again in no time... I don't know why they don't just throw them in jail. I need to stop watching!

Thoughts?

I feel sorry for the few that are truly mentally ill, but I agree with you--it seems to me that many of these people are simply lazy. I loved one show (may have not been the Hoarders show--it was a year or so ago)--where the Mom and the 17-year-old son were surrounded by old pizza boxes, dirty plates, etc.--all on the floor, so much that they had to walk on the mess--and they were just surfing the Net on their laptops; the kid was also shown playing video games. I've known people like them, and they weren't mentally ill, unless "slob" is a genuine psychiatric term...I've also shared hotel rooms (while reenacting) where my female friends just trashed the room, knowing the poor maid would have to clean around it. Booze bottles everywhere, bedding strewn on the floor, etc. In contrast, I tidied my bed, straightened up my stuff in the bathroom, and left my area neat.

I especially like it when these people whine on and on about the mess, yet could spend that time actually cleaning it up. And the spouses blame each other, saying, "Well, it's HER job to clean up!" Admittedly, this is more like Clean House than Hoarders, but you get the idea.

We seem to be such an excuse-ridden society any more, IMHO. It's always some excuse for not towing the line in life, or it's some else's fault/job. Just get it done, and stop whining. Mom once had a neighbor, whose house was disgusting--not so much clutter, but dirt and smell. She always said, "I don't like to do housework, so I don't." Well, you know, I don't exactly love cleaning out 9 litter boxes each day (thankfully, they are not in the house, so I don't have to smell them!), but I have to do it--even when I'm very sick. I hate washing DH's smelly socks (I call his socks, "Toxic syndrome", but I do it.

Yeah, the other half with legitimate issues, I can feel for them. Jake for example, he seems nice he just has serious mental issues. The self-centered slob ones though... ugh. Like Steven would let a woman that is older and smaller than him clean his bathroom for him. Why can't he pick up a shovel just like her and TRY to help considering he had no problems throwing everything out?

And the poor families too, makes you feel so bad for the innocent kids and animals.

BTW, for those watching online, I meant to link directly to it, but it didn't work so just click the very bottom right of the page where it has the video for "Augustina".

I'm a little mad about this thread, Ducman... like I needed one more thing to be hooked on

I just finished up the Randy/Vicki episode. Randy's story is truly disturbing in that he lives in a completely different reality in his mind. The Randy mannequins, the tub of hair he is keeping... he is his own freakshow.

I watched maybe 3 episodes of it and stopped watching. The three shows I watched looked so staged I got disgusted. They were episodes like you were saying seemed just like people too lazy to clean up. I found it pretty disgusting.

None of the episodes I watched seemed like "real" hoarders. Hoarding is a mental issue and I think some of the obvious "imposters" denigrate the people that actually have a mental illness.

Just my take on it but I haven't seen many episodes either.

I am willing to bet some of the people are lazy. However, I know a hoarder who not only collects mass amounts of random things, her place is blatantly dirty. My uncle was staying in her basement for a time (that was kept spotless) and I had went to visit. She allowed me to go through the front door. Piles and piles of papers and odds and ends. I walked by the kitchen that looked like a meal for 100 people was cooked in it and the mess left to grow mold and other (living?) things.
It certainly seemed like she was lazy and just didn't want to clean it but after a certain point, the amount of work that needs to be put into cleaning something like that gets overwhelming for the person. They tend to just "live with it". I have not been to her home since but as far as I know, she never got it cleaned up.

I admit some of the episodes look staged but you never know. Hoarding can include garbage. I know this from personal experience. I lost a few close people when I was young. I started to cling to everything, so if I lost someone else, I'd have a memory. Most of it was things my mother gave me. For example, if she gave me a chocolate bar, I would keep the wrapper. A note to take out the trash on my way to school? I kept it for years.

Then there was a the box of "stuff" I had for YEARS. I was forced to clean out my closet when I was still at home with my folks. I had a box with dried up pens, markers and other random things. I knew I had to throw it out but it took me about an hour to do it. I was almost in tears. I knew the stuff was useless but I honestly believed it would help me hang on to memories. Mind you the closet is still filled with things I can't bear to part with, as useless as they are but that was a small part of it I fought to get rid of. Hard to imagine hoarding trash...but it is very real.

Watched a few more episodes. I really liked Carolyn's story.

I disagree that the people are "just lazy." It's like quitting smoking or losing weight - if it were easy, they would do it. In the case of Steven, I think it starts off with a few beer bottles, and it's not a big deal so he doesn't clean it. I know I'm guilty of that right now - there's a six pack of empties sitting next to my sink. Easy to clean, I could do it in a minute (and probably will go do it, now! ), but it's just a few bottles, no big deal. But the few bottles become a wall - literally and emotionally - before your eyes. Something like that can become part of your identity, how you align yourself in the order of the world, and losing it means losing a part of yourself, or maybe your whole self if you don't have enough emotional anchors.

It can also be IMPOSSIBLE for some people to even take the first step to changing because it seems insurmountable. Like if you're 300 pounds and you need to be 140. You can lose 5, 10, 20, 40, 75, 100 pounds, and who cares, because you're nowhere near where you need to be. Not that that's TRUE of course - even a 10% reduction in weight helps to stem the tide of many medical issues, but that's how it feels, which is what matters. Someone who is over 300 pounds and loses 100 pounds has accomplished something very few ever will - whether they need to or not. But the world looks at the 225 or 250 lb. person and says, "Ew, they are disgusting and fat." That's an emotional wall--one that many find is impossible to get over. I see the "lazy" cases of hoarding as something very similar.

On the subject of staged stuff, I'm a stickler for it - can't stand it, won't watch it. I've only watched three episodes, and haven't seen any yet, so I'm hopeful for the next few.

I hate watching animal hoarding shows. . .not only because the animals are treated badly (both by the hoarders and the "rescuers") but also because the families tend to blame the animals, when it's clear that the animals aren't the problem. Those people would still be hoarders even if they had no animals.

But I love watching Hoarders :biggrin2:. It's interesting to see the different psychological profiles of the various people. Some of them are just overwhelmed and need to get everything shoveled out so they can start over (technically I don't think they're hoarders. At least in the official diagnosis kind of way. Just that an untidy lifestyle got out of hand). Some of them are truly hoarders and are emotionally attached to their garbage. I can't imagine trying to help someone like that--it must be so frustrating! But interesting to watch.

Originally Posted by parsleysage

I'm a little mad about this thread, Ducman... like I needed one more thing to be hooked on

I just finished up the Randy/Vicki episode. Randy's story is truly disturbing in that he lives in a completely different reality in his mind. The Randy mannequins, the tub of hair he is keeping... he is his own freakshow.

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The Randy episode completely freaked me out. I do NOT like most clowns and Carny things like that and to be surrounded by Randy mannequins, Randy machines, Randy heads....and you can buy real Randy Hair? OMG. I was gagging, and the hair on my neck stood up.

Normally, I like a good freak show, as my husband says, but that was just awful.
Does anyone watch "My strange addiction"? Now there's some freakish stuff!!

I think most of the people on those shows are just lazy but a few do have mental issues. There are two shows, one on A&E and one on TLC. There was one episode on one of them where a man survived a burst brain aneurysm. He had been a successful musician but he now has brain damage and is legitimately on disability. Two of the symtoms of the brain damage was short term memory and organizational skills. He had also been a very stubborn person and that coupled with the brain damage turned him into a hoarder. He really needed to be in some kind of supervised assisted living situation but he had the kind of personality that would never allow him to admit to that.

Some of the elderly people are also legitimate.

I watched 1 episode because I was too lazy to get up to get the remote to change the channel.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't you required to sign a release form to have your image aired on the television? Hoarding is a mental illness, so that would technically make the person incompetent to sign a release.

I've probably watched every episode of that show. It makes me keep this place tidier and me feel better about myself....
Some of those people seriously make me wonder how the ones making the show can control themselves and not beat the crap out of the annoying, yelling, crazy, ungrateful people.
I understand that some of the older persons in the show may just be too exhausted and too ill to really do enough cleaning/house keeping, but they should be located somewhere where they're supervised and not just left alone again. The episodes involving animals are always the worst, and most of them seem to have cats.

Originally Posted by NorthernGlow

I've probably watched every episode of that show.

It makes me keep this place tidier and me feel better about myself....

Some of those people seriously make me wonder how the ones making the show can control themselves and not beat the crap out of the annoying, yelling, crazy, ungrateful people.
I understand that some of the older persons in the show may just be too exhausted and too ill to really do enough cleaning/house keeping, but they should be located somewhere where they're supervised and not just left alone again. The episodes involving animals are always the worst, and most of them seem to have cats.

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You're right-they do seem to have cats. Most times, sadly, the cats do not have a happy ending. They always blame everybody but themselves, this one put this cup here, and now I have 10,000 tons of garbage that has grown around it.

I feel bad for some of them, but some of them are just obnoxious. I'm taping a new one as we speak. I'll be scrubbing the house tomorrow.

Originally Posted by Natalie_ca

I watched 1 episode because I was too lazy to get up to get the remote to change the channel.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't you required to sign a release form to have your image aired on the television? Hoarding is a mental illness, so that would technically make the person incompetent to sign a release.

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You can have a mental illness without being considered incompetent, and if they were, then their family members would be allowed to sign on their behalf as legal guardians.

Originally Posted by Ducman69

You can have a mental illness without being considered incompetent, and if they were, then their family members would be allowed to sign on their behalf as legal guardians.

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:Yeah:

I know lots of people with schizophrenia, bipolar, random other mental illnesses, and most of them live independently--signing leases, buying cars, buying houses, etc. Simply having a mental illness doesn't automatically make you mentally incompetent.

It's not laziness, and it's not staged, either. I can speak from a bit of experience here. The tendency to hoard seems to run in my family -- my grandmother, my mom, and I have all dealt with it in one form or another.

What often seems to trigger it, strangely enough, is a desperate desire for perfection. Seriously. People who have somehow come to believe that nothing short of perfection is acceptable may, when they realize they can never actually achieve it, just give up and lose the will to make any effort at all. They feel better choosing not to make the attempt, rather than trying and failing.

So they become compulsive about collecting something. For me, it was mostly garage sale items: I bought old, broken, unloved objects and took them home to repair and make pretty again... and over time, the accumulation simply overran my apartment.

I saw what I was doing -- I even understood, eventually, that I was fixing up these castoff objects the way I wished I could fix myself -- but the nature of the illness is that you cannot reason yourself out of it. Nor can anyone shame or berate you out of it. In fact, the condemnation of others only drives you deeper into hiding. You need professional help to change the mental processes that have brought you to this point.

And even once you're free of the compulsion to hoard and would love to be rid of all your excess junk, you still have to overcome your certainty that the job of clearing it all out is actually infinite. You know you will never, never be able to do it all, it will never be over -- and that makes it virtually impossible to begin. Again... you've got to have help.

In my view, the primary value of the show is that it makes clear to both hoarders and the people around them that they've absolutely got to get help -- a very hard decision to make.

And in a broader sense, the show also helps make it clear that mental illness is a legitimate health issue -- despite our utter failure in this country to treat it as such. People who suffer from a mental illness do not deserve to be stigmatized, any more than someone with diabetes or multiple sclerosis deserves to be. Would we accuse a cancer patient of being "lazy?"

When you see people on the show whose behavior seems outrageous, irrational, insupportable... bear in mind, you're looking at people with a serious illness that manifests itself through mental aberration. Why would you expect logical behavior from them? They're not well! Be patient with such people, and be kind... they're already suffering enough.

The show just makes me very sad for these people, and I hope that they continue to get the help that they desperatly need. What angers me more than anything though are those who say "Oh I hope I don't see you on a Hoarders episode one day!" when they find out we have 10 cats. So does a person who has multiple kids mean their a hoarder?!? That show has caused a LOT of stereotypes, and gives responsible pet owners a really bad name.

Good grief, people say that you Kailie?? That's AWFUL!

I cry alot through that show, when they break down, I usually break down as well, it's hard to watch someone at their breaking point, it's almost like I can feel their frustration and sadness

I am so opposite them it's insane, I throw EVERYTHING in the garbage, even things that SHOULD mean something to me, it simply doesn't. I look at it all as objects that can be replaced. It drives poor Craig crazy though since everytime he goes to look for something, it's gone

I also don't think it's staged.

Originally Posted by Momto3boys

Good grief, people say that you Kailie?? That's AWFUL!

I cry alot through that show, when they break down, I usually break down as well, it's hard to watch someone at their breaking point, it's almost like I can feel their frustration and sadness

I am so opposite them it's insane, I throw EVERYTHING in the garbage, even things that SHOULD mean something to me, it simply doesn't. I look at it all as objects that can be replaced. It drives poor Craig crazy though since everytime he goes to look for something, it's gone

I also don't think it's staged.

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I'm a "Piles for people to look through" person. It drives my husband up a wall. I make a pile of all his little scraps of paper, his sports Illustrateds, his Mens Journal and Mens health, and any other thing he leaves around, and it goes at his seat at the dinner table. My kids get piles on the counter, or if I'm feeling particularly irritated at the stuff strewn around...on their pillows. At that point, they know I'm serious.

I don't think any of the people on the show are faking it. It's years of collecting and sometimes when it's coupled with a disabled person I can't help but wonder why they aren't receiving help from the get go.
@Kallie-I can't believe people would say that to you. But then, some folks just yammer away without much regard for people. Your babies are well taken care of, and that's all that matters.

@Carol Petunia-I can understand an addictive personality, I collect things, like Lighthouses. It works out for me, because my husband is really good about helping me with limits.
I feel bad for some of the folks that get angry, especially the elderly people who see their hoard as part of themselves and their self worth. It's scary for them, and you can see the anxiety. I can also relate to the helplessness they feel, some days many things can feel like an infinite, insurmountable problem.

I don't have to watch the show, I'm living it.

My husband's parents (thought I think his mother more than anything) hoard.
She buys clothes she'll never wear, she constantly knits, her projects ending up anywhere there is a surface to set them on.
Outside the wall of our bedroom is evidence that organizing was started and abandoned.
You cannot see more than 1 foot square of floor anywhere.
She'll buy houseplants, never water them, yet never thow away the dead ones either.
The house stinks.

I watched her spend close to $300 at the thrift store back in April, every sngle item of that purchase is still in the bag she broght it home in, scattered throughout the kitchen.

Jake says its been this way his whole life.
Adult protective services removed his mentally handicapped sister while he was still in high school.

His mother gets angry to the point of violence if you even mention trying to thin out the 'stuff' in the house.
She needs some serious help.

Nothing really we can do while we are living here.
Though we do plan a few phone calls once we move out.