ARGH! Fostering rant, advice needed.

Can someone please tell me how in the hell I am supposed to reply to this message I just received without being nasty?!?

"Hi Kailie, I have the biggest hugest reget EVER! After we seen Penny at your place Jeff& Addy were so impatient about waiting and they wanted a cat but we did intend on getting Penny and a female kitten. We purchased a cat at the pet store unintentionally as we were tehre getting fish food and it's not a loving cat, nor cuddly cat...no connection at all...My daughter loves it even though it runs away from her all the time. Each time I see you post with Penny's picture my heart breaks and I have guilt because we SHOULD have picked her and her and her baby. We made a mistake."

Not really sure what she WANTS me to say? These were the people who came to see Penny when she first came to me, pregnant. At first they told me THEY wanted to foster her, then they worried about if something happened during the labor, etc, and said it would be best that she stayed here but they fell in love with her and wanted her and one of her kittens when they were ready.

Now they have a kitten they have no connection with, wouldn't surprise me if they end up getting rid of it, because of a stupid impulse PET STORE purchase. I mean, if you really WERE that impatient and couldn't wait a couple months, go to the shelter and let the kitty pick you! Penny LOVED these people, and I thought they connected so well! I know I tend to get a little too emotionally involved in my fosters, and I can't help that, but I really have no idea what to say to this lady without getting nasty.

I also had the woman who wanted Penny's kitten, Nickel, tell me she changed her mind about adoption because it is "too much trouble" to drive the 40 minutes to a vet who sponsors the SPCA spay/neuter program. Well then lady, if the kitten is not worth a little bit of a drive, then YOU don't deserve to have her! ARGH!

How terribly frustrating. Why can't people understand that kittens and puppies should not be impulse buys? As to responding to her, I would try to give her advice on how interact with this skittish kitten so hopefully the kitten grows into their household as a valued member of the family.

As to Nickel, I think it is a blessing in disguise. If this woman can't do that one trip, then she won't probably follow up with other care Nickel would need.

Oh hun

I agree, maybe try to educate her on dealing with a skittish kitten, maybe even give her this site and ask her to join?

Poor Nickle, the perfect home will come along for her soon

Sending them all vibes, the perfect homes will come along shortly for them

Geesh. I can understand impulses, but purchasing a cat from a PETSTORE.. One should know better!

as for the one who refused to drive 40 mins, she doesn't deserve Nickle. I drove 45 minutes to get my cat Microchipped last night.. while KNOWING I'd be waiting over an hour for a 2 minute visit (since its a shelter vet and is VERY busy!), and another 45 minutes home.

Perhaps the kitten is skittish because of the age of the youngster. The child may be too aggressive for the kitten. Perhaps you could try to educate them about supervising their child and the kitten. Once the kitten gets a bit older, it may well come around. On the other hand, there are some cats that are just not all touchy, feely and nothing will change that.

I agree. Try to hold back all of the anger and help her. That way there isnt another kitten out there on the streets. Talk to her about why you shouldnt go to a pet store that sells animals from breeders, and help her bond with the new kitten.

In all honesty: all of my pets have been impulses... Joey just showed up in our flower bed. Kahlua we stole from the neighbors. (long story) and Google a friend brought over 3 kittens, we ended up with one, another friend got another, and the last was spoken for. We never planned any of them. We never thought about any of them. We just knew we needed them.

Oh Kailie, this is just the most frustrating part to being a cat foster guardian. People like that are everywhere. It happens ALL the time at the shelter. You really think someone clicked with a cat, they came to see that cat a few times, but then never show up on the day they say they are adopting. Breaks my heart too. I think if I were you, I would just respond by saying..... "good luck with that kitten and hope it works out. That you feel sad about Penny because it was such a great match but there is no point in discussing it any further." I would also try to explain about buying dogs/cats from a pet store and that the mom cats and mom dogs are treated like breeding machines and usually in filthy conditions. "mills"... ....

I am sorry about Nickel but that lady didn't deserve that kitten either. If she can't drive 45 minutes for a one time neuter, then what else would she NOT do for this little guy if he needed care . Sorry about these disappointments. Am sending TONS of vibes for new adopters to come along that are worthy of your fosters

Originally Posted by Yosemite

Perhaps the kitten is skittish because of the age of the youngster. The child may be too aggressive for the kitten. Perhaps you could try to educate them about supervising their child and the kitten.

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That's my thought's as well. It's frustrating bu if you can try and get her to get their child to leave the kitten alone until it comes around to them.

Now that I've calmed down, lol.

How long has she had the cat for? it may need more time to settle

That is really frustrating. Getting a pet on impulse from a pet store is about the worst thing someone can do. Sometimes I feel like I got Holland on impulse because I hadn't intended on getting a cat the day I brought her home from the shelter, but it was something I had been thinking about for a long time, so it wasn't that impulsive really. Try to remember the little kitten she did bring home - it's not that cat's fault s/he was at the pet store, poor thing. It's a bit disconcerting to me that she keeps referring to this kitten as "it", though...

I agree that any advice you can give her for the cat that she DID bring home would be the high road here, you can put aside the feelings you have for this person and focus on helping the kitten that is living there now. I know THAT will make you feel better.

I'm surprised that this woman was thinking of fostering Penny herself and then went out and bought a cat from a store... you'd think she would know better. Ugh, I just hate pet stores, and I can't believe they still exist. I have no doubt that Penny will find a better home, how can anyone NOT fall in love with her?

Don't let it get you down.

Thanks guys... I replied back and was very diplomatic. I waited until I calmed down, no nastiness. I gave her some ideas and asked her to be patient. I just hope they don't end up trying to get rid of the poor thing.

On a happier note, foster Portia & her baby Beau are being adopted TOGETHER! Their new names are Maya & Mika and they go home Saturday!

Originally Posted by Kailie

On a happier note, foster Portia & her baby Beau are being adopted TOGETHER! Their new names are Maya & Mika and they go home Saturday!

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Awwwww!!!! Great news!!! I kinda miss the old names already, but congratulations on a wonderful new home, Maya & Mika!

for Maya and Mika!!! Great names. Things are looking up now after that huge disappointment . You should be proud of yourself handling that lady the way that you did . You are a great person all the way around!!! Someone will come along soon for Penny , she sounds like a real sweetie

You're an angel to subject yourself to such frustration... thank you for all you're doing for kitties.