Checking in; not checking out.

I've not been around much. I come around and keep up with all that is going on with you here, but I, myself, haven't been around much. And, it's not only here on TCS, it's everywhere in my life. I've been checked out. Maybe it's been easier that way. But, it's certainly been lonely. I don't want to check out. Instead, I'm choosing to check back in. If y'all will have me...

There's no sense in me going on some long diatribe about why I haven't been around. The simplest answer is also the most honest -- I haven't been around because I've been too wrapped up in what's going on in my small piece of this world. I've been involved in my own head and my own body. I've been selfish. I don't mean that in a negative way. After all, it's the truth. But, in order to feel better internally, I need to start looking around me and getting back involved with others so that I am less focused on what's going on with me.

Some of you know I was diagnosed with diabetes in April. As of now, I've been diagnosed as a Type II. But, treatment has not been easy and there is some potential for my diagnosis to shift to an autoimmune form of diabetes in the future. I suppose only time will tell. But, in the meantime, it's been a struggle. I got right on board from the beginning. I started testing my blood sugar regularly, I saw doctors, nutritionists, and the like, and I started eating better. I have an eating disorder as well and that complicates things, but I was doing okay. Well, that is, until I wasn't. Suffice it to say that this has been a very difficult time for me. I went from 0 to 60 in no time flat and I'm now insulin dependent and in a constant state of uncertainty. I've already been hospitalized twice for high blood sugar and the threat continues to loom overhead. It's not something I am doing wrong or something the doctors are missing -- it is just the early stage of an illness and condition that is treated with a wide range of trial and error. And, I've been in turmoil because of that; not only physically, but emotionally as well. To top it all off, there have been some major changes in my life where family is concerned and I am still working toward excelling at a new job (I've been working at my current place of employment since September 2010) and making a life for myself and my furry family. In that sense, I'm no different from anyone else. But, I've let it weigh me down and I've lost pieces of myself in the mess that has come down around me. Now it's time to pick up the pieces and get back to, not only being me, but living my life. LIVING...not just existing. And, TCS, among many other things, is a part of that. So, while I've been absent, I hope I can be welcomed back. And, in turn, I hope to be present for all of you as well.

So, here I am. Checking in; not checking out. And, along with me you get my furry family -- Cassidy, Delaney, Emory, and Finnegan (the kitties); Madeline and Mackenzie (the pups); Duncan (the cockatiel); and my little critters Harley Quinn, Darby, Daisy, and Delilah. We're all still kicking. Maybe I was just treading water for a little while, but I'm ready to move forward. It's good to be "home." I've certainly missed you all...