Ease my mind, please.. Second kitty

Hi Draco

First off I'm really glad you are allowed to officially have cats in your domicile

I can tell you what my experiences are and am speaking from my own experiences and not from what I've read in textbooks and online. I think every cat is different and unique in their own way and may react differently.

All of my cats went through an intro period. Any new cat brought into my home was actually a kitten and not full grown. I'm told this may have made a difference in the way the adult cats reacted because they did not feel threatened by an adult cat. I dunno. The kittens were kept in a "safe room" alone when I was not at home and then let out into the "general population" when I could supervise. The transition always went smoothly.

The only problem I experienced was with my male Snowshoe, Ramsey. I have introduced 2 kittens and 2 puppies into the household since I've gotten Ramsey. His reaction was the same every time. He was really ticked off about it each time. He would hide for short periods of time and could sometimes be aggressive with the puppies. That was very short lived though and he reverted back to the same papa's boy he's always been. I have come to the conclusion that he just does not like change but adapts to it eventually.

I've been using the Feliway phermone plug ins for a couple of years and I also think that helped but that is just my own thought.

We went from 1 to 3 cats in the span of a year and a half.

Sneaky had grown up with a friend- but when he died of kidney failure at age 17, I was in no hurry to get another cat. 9 months later we adopted HollyHeart from a friend, and she was a 16 week old kitten. Sneaky was 8. There was hissing, growling, swatting etc.

Sneaky became the "cat who hissed at everything". For about 9 months she hissed at anything in the house that moved. I don't know why, maybe Holly was such a pest (and all she wanted to do is play with Sneaky) that she was constantly watching her back for this little black ball of fuzz . Around Dec ( Holly was over a year by then) she had stopped the whole hissing thing.

They got along. Sneaky kind of "chilled out" some. Holly's still a pest at times. But they'll "hang out" together. Holly would even groom Sneaky Sneaky was a lap cat when she was an "only", she's not anymore. Holly was never a lap cat. But she likes attention.

Then we got Jasper. I didn't even want him, but we took him in as a favor to my neighbor. Jasper is 10. And all he did for the first month is hide in the garage. All the "girls" did is hide upstairs. Feeding was a pain b/c he wouldn't go near them, and they wouldn't go near her. And I worried about "arguments" since he's declawed and they aren't.

After about 2 months, he kind of "chilled out". Though he still will occasionally spray in the house (and we are still looking to find a solution to it- though it's not nearly as bad). I wouldn't say that anyone's personality has changed. Jasper IS a lap cat- he likes to get into your "personal space" (usually mine) at night. The other 2 really don't get jealous, but they're not really lap cats anyways. The 3 of them will play. Jasper will groom Holly and try to groom Sneaky (Sneaky wants nothing to do with it).

I think given time cats become "used" to each other and will share their living space.

cheryl

We lost 1 and gained 2 in the span of 3 months last year.

Freya (our first) was very clingy for awhile after we lost Cotton, but became our resident "Hissy-cat" with the two newcomers. The trick was figuring out what hisses were actual and what was just Freya being Freya (she has a unique attitude). My favorite moment was after we'd had her and Sybil together for about a week they were sitting together in the kitchen and Freya started batting Sybil's tail. When Sybil looked at her, Freya hissed at Sybil and walked away, leaving Sybil looking very confused. It looked for all the world like "Hey, Hey, are you paying attention? yes? good. *Hiss* just so you know."

Her behavior to us didn't really change, though. We went through a few weeks of her running into our laps everytime Sybil or Wendel entered the room, but I think that was just her proving to them that she could.

Cats really do take different lengths of time to accept each other. Freya seems to need to get to the point where she no longer considers the newcomer 'new.' She accepted Cotton after only a couple hours, but he didn't have a dominant bone in his body and wasn't healthy, so I think she switched into "taking care of him" mode. She accepted Sybil after a day or two. (of course Sybil had been living in our office with her babies for 6 weeks at that point). Wendel took longer. It was a good 3-4 weeks before the hissing and swatting lessened with him.

I think if you make sure your new kitty is pretty easy-going and cat-friendly, they'll sort themselves out eventually.

Do you have a separate room where your new kitty can be separated at first? When cats are older, it's best to be able to take introductions slowly. First, for the new cat, she'll be invading another cat's territory. So IF you have some place you can separate her - even a large bathroom - for even a few days - it helps her adjust, because a small space to make "her own" will help her confidence as she gets to know you and become comfortable with the smells and things she can sense there. Move and change are scary for cats.

Our experience is that our males are generally quite good about accepting new cat membes of the family, and our females are hissy LOL.

Basically, the cats just have to work out the territory thing. Monet is used to the entire place being his territory, so "introductions" are not SO much about the cats "meeting" each other as it is about them learning how to share the space. If you're able to separate them, the best thing to do is swap scents at first. Let Monet smell her - from a brush, or bedding or something. We even scooped pee out of Chumley's (our most recent intro) litter box and stuck it in one of the other cats' litter boxes. Then we'd bring him into the main living area - just 15 minutes or so at first - and play with the other cats while he watched, or sniffed around.

The main thing is to make the RESIDENT kitty feel like the new kitty means RESIDENT kitty gets more attention, more play, more love, more treats - so having new kitty around is a good thing. It's really hard not to focus on the new cat, but in the long run it generally works out better to focus your attention on Monet when they're first in the same room together.

It may also help to have at least two (and preferably three) litter boxes - if not permanently, at least temporarily.

They may not be best friends, they may not be "play pals," but you'd be giving a kitty that needs a home a home.

All of our kitties are rescue kitties, and we just tell them all that another kitty needs a home, so lump it.

There's just no way to know how he'll react. But the bottom line is that if you make Monet feel confident that he's still #1, and you go into this with confidence that it will work out, it will. It may take a while for things to adjust and settle down, but they will. Or you could get lucky, and Monet will turn out to be just fine with it!

One thing I did when I brought my boy home was to always have a little toy in my pocket or right next to me. Then, whenever I saw one of them start to 'stare' at the other, I distracted him/her with the toy. I figured they couldn't be too mad if a mousie would hold their attention.

And, yes, always tell the resident cat that the new cat is their kitty, and always greet and feed the resident cat first. It's tough, the new kid on the block always gets lots of attention, but it's so important that the resident cat knows they're still your #1.

Also, I tried feeding them fairly close to each other, so they got the idea that yummy food shows up when they're being 'nice' to each other.

And, just in case any fights really break out, have a towel handy that you can drop over one of the combatants. Do not try to separate them with your own hands. The hardest part is just trying to figure out when it's really a fight, or just posturing. But try to be calm, since they'll both pick up on the way you're feeling.

We have had a constant come-and-go of foster cats for the last couple of years.

We have found that kittens integrate pretty quickly. Adult cats (like Tiger) may be no more than tolerated, but given a couple of weeks, everyone is playing with the kitten. Right now, ZZ is at the stage where Sterling loves him, Punkin ignores him, Ella hisses if he gets in her face, and Flambe is still growling. But Flambe will soon realize that this is someone who wants to play as much as he does, and Ella will realize the kitten can be fun, too, and won't wrestle too vigorously with her.

Punkin will ignore him, most likely.

I hope you have a little hand vac or small hand broom. They still track litter out of covered boxes. I'm sure you'll manage while she and her box need to be in there.

Trust me - he can smell her scent on there. That he isn't reacting at all is a good sign. Some cats will hiss at it. He may not be as happy when there's a cat to go with that scent - but given he's acting like he can't smell it, my guess is he's going to be more curious about what's in the bathroom than anything else.

The first day/two, take your lead from how he reacts to what's in the bathroom - and how she reacts to being in your place. If he seems curious/excited - but she's scared, give her a little time to get comfortable. But if she settles in, and he "bristles" his back at the door, then focus on the scent swapping.

Rub her all over with a wash cloth, and put it under his food dish. (You can do the same for him with her).

Rub her all over with a wash cloth, and play with Monet. At the end of the play session, put treats down on the cloth that smells like her.

These steps will help him associate her scent with "good" things.

The feliway is a good idea anyway. I know it's expensive - but it'll help her if nothing else.

Of course, the ideal is that he's curious, she gets comfortable pretty quickly... and while there may be some hissing here and there, that's normal.

The main thing is to not stress about them not having totally positive interactions. Also - if you're not used to cats playing, it might seem to you like they're fighting.

Gary and I were new to cats when we rescued our first. 10 days later, we brought in his brother. We thought they'd be so happy to see each other (boy were we clueless). Sheldon was scared (being inside from having lived outside LOL) and went racing around looking for an exit - Lazlo saw a moving target and went after it. They were a ball of rolling, hiss fur and flying paws and claws. There was no way to separate them without serious personal injury. I really don't remember what happened. I just know we had to leave for the airport to drop Gary's mom off. We decided they weren't actually going to kill each other. We came home - and couldn't find either one. They were the last place we looked - in a crate, curled up together, asleep.

After that, we continued to think they were fighting a lot. I don't remember how long it took us to figure out - they weren't fighting, they were playing!

Ming Loy and Billy play together all the time. She attacks him, he tackles her, she screams bloody murder. Three years later... it still gets the heart racing. But as we'd had six years of cat experience (and a lot of it, by then) by the time we brought Billy inside, we knew from the body language that they were playing. Tails up! Ears not back, back not ridged. Their tails will poof sometimes, but that's part of the playing. It's like when they're really grooving on playing with the wand toy - they'll hiss at it LOL.

My two are siblings so I didn't have to deal with introductions, but they are super affectionate to each other and to me as well. The benefit of two actually is that when one isn't in the mood for a cuddle, the other is, and if I'M the one not in the mood I can shoo em off and they play with each other and let me work for a minute. I am thoroughly convinced that kitties get more physical and mental stimulation with another around, and it gives me peace of mind that when I'm not around they have each other and their toys.

I'm excited for you!

I'm just curious, did you find a deaf cat? I found your thread while searching for threads on deaf cats and was surprised to see someone else intentionally searching for a deaf cat. My older cat, White Cat, needed a buddy about a year after I brought him home from my aunt's house. I knew he didn't do well with hearing cats (at my aunt's house the other cats would sneak up on him and beat him up), so I got another deaf cat through a deaf animal rescue, www.deafanimals.blogspot.com. It worked out spectacularly well after the adjustment period. Good luck with your new kitty!

Because of my experienced kittens are easier to get settled with a resident cat