Facebook Requests Question

Is there a way to POLITELY decline or not respond to a friend request? Young ladies that work with my DH send me friend requests, and I don't know how to not accept them. I barely know them (honestly, I wouldn't know them if I saw them on the street. I just accepted another one, but first I had to figure out who the heck she was by looking at mutual friends.
Do I have to accept their requests just because Dave is their boss?

No, you don't, IMO.

If you want to accept them to be polite, do it and then go into your settings and put them on limited profile so they can only see certain aspects of it.

I have my boss on FB and a few of my coworkers, most of them are on limited so they can see some of my photo albums, status updates and some information. If I'm posting something that I don't want them to see, then there's a thing that you can click where you can choose who you don't want to see it.

If you'd like, I can get some screen shots and post them so you can see where you can do all of that.

Also remember, if you click ignore that they will still be able to see parts of your profile, you status updates, that kind of thing - you have to go into another area and then click on deny there.

Originally Posted by nerdrock

If you'd like, I can get some screen shots and post them so you can see where you can do all of that.
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That would actually be great! I don't like the idea of people my husband works with being able to see everything I write. If I can 'filter' them somehow I won't have to worry about it. (can you tell I'm 'facebook challenged'? )

There are buttons for Accept and Decline. Hit the Decline one and it is over. They aren't notified that you declined. Why have people you don't want, just to filter them out? One quick click and it's done...or you can just ignore the request.

I only decline the people I really don't want since they can figure out if you've declined them or not.

Sometimes I just leave them kind of in limbo I don't accept or decline and kind of pretend I didn't notice.

But as suggested, you can always add them and then block them from everything

Originally Posted by Whisky'sDad

There are buttons for Accept and Decline. Hit the Decline one and it is over. They aren't notified that you declined. Why have people you don't want, just to filter them out? One quick click and it's done...or you can just ignore the request.

Click to expand...

That's how it used to be, now if you click Deny (although I think it says Ignore) they go into a state of limbo until you actually deny them on a separate screen. Posts you make will still show up in their news feed.

Ok, here are the screen shots and instructions. I didn't bother blocking my name or anything like that because I really don't care, lol, if anyone wants to add me go ahead. If you want to steal my identity - go ahead, but be informed that you will then be responsible for mounds of debt, quite a few dogs, a cat, and a boyfriend, lol.

From your facebook home page, click on Account at the top:



From that menu click on Edit Friends and it will take you to this page:



From that page, you can create lists of friends so that you can group them however you want - coworkers, friends, etc.

Click on Limited Profile to add people to your limited profile, I'm using my boyfriend as an example.



If you click on Requests, it will take you to this page. These are the people where you have just clicked Ignore or Deny when the friend request initially came up:



You need to either click confirm or delete. If you click delete, it will take you to this screen and ask you if you know them outside of facebook:



So that's how to put someone on a limited profile and properly deny friend requests. Now onto controlling who can see your photo albums, it's pretty much the same for statuses.

Go onto your FB page, not the main one that comes up. Under your name, click on photos:



Click on the album that you want to edit the settings on, this screen will come up. You want to click on Edit Album at the top:



A little box will come up, in that click on Privacy:



Again, I used my boyfriend as an example, lol.



Then just save your settings and you're good to go.

For your status, just click on the little lock right beside share before sharing it. You will get a little drop down menu that says who can see it, click on customize and you can choose who will see that update.

Hope that helped!

Awesome tutorial, nerdrock! (Alicia. )

Just wanted to point out that if you have a LOT of photo albums (I have almost 60, tee hee, been on facebook 6 years! sheesh!), you can change their settings a bit quicker by going to Account > Privacy Settings > Customize settings > Edit privacy settings for existing photos and videos (it's a link at the end of the first section called "Things I share").

It'll collect all your albums and videos in one place and you can change all their settings right there.

Facebook etiquette can get sticky sometimes, but the privacy settings are a good way to navigate it!

Facebook has come along way in regards to their privacy settings. You can basically make everything except your name private. Even then, I believe you can make it so people can't look you up.

I have people on my Facebook that add me just because someone they know has me. Its weird. It's like a competition to have more people on your friends list.

the constantly "suggestion" for accept to persons that you don´t know make me hate FB sometimes...


nice tutorial!...

Alicia, thank you so much! I don't have any photo albums--no pics except for my profile picture, and even that isn't a picture of me.

I just don't know how to politely ignore someone---I'm afraid I'll hurt their feelings. It's nice to know I can pick who sees what I right, even after I've caved in and 'friended' them.

LuvMyParker (sorry, I don't know your real name) I do think that for some people it's just a competition to see who can have the highest number of "friends". I can't imagine anyone actually being friends with over 2000 people, yet I know their are fb users who have that many listed.

Originally Posted by libby74

I just don't know how to politely ignore someone---I'm afraid I'll hurt their feelings. It's nice to know I can pick who sees what I right, even after I've caved in and 'friended' them.

LuvMyParker (sorry, I don't know your real name) I do think that for some people it's just a competition to see who can have the highest number of "friends". I can't imagine anyone actually being friends with over 2000 people, yet I know their are fb users who have that many listed.

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I felt guilty the first few times I "ignored" friend requests but eventually I stopped caring. I am not obligated to friend people I do not know. It's like having someone you never met call you up and chat like you've been buds for years...and have them ask all about your life. It's just weird lol.

And yeah, I have people on my FB with over 1000 "friends". Whatever floats your boat, I guess.

Oh yeah, my name is Ashley, btw. I don't think I've ever mentioned it on here but oh well. I don't mind sharing my name. Just don't try to stalk me

I have all my info set to private so only my friends can see them, so I just ignore friend requests and then tell them I haven't logged onto facebook in ages.

I have had a few people I've denied more than once before they got the hint. Sometimes there is just no need to reconnect with someone ya know? Others I've just left the request alone.

I know I have a bunch of TCSers as freinds that I love to talk to...but for most of you....I have no clue what your TCS screen name is anymore! And I never joined the TCS group we once had (still do?) because it seemed too easy for people to find me that way.

You can also set it up so people cannot ask you to be friends, I think it was already mentioned but basically you won't turn up in a serach and if they see your name on someone else's FB (if you replied to something, etc) then they can't even click in your name.

My boys teachers have theirs set up that way, if they want friends, they have to ask to be friends, nobody can ask them.

That might help you

My supervisor at work saw me on one of his friend's facebook and was very surprised to see me there. He asked me how I knew her. I went to High School with her. That said, he told me that he will not accept people he works with as friends. I totally understand and have not asked to be his friend. He told me he had ex-coworkers but now they work in the building again, he is in a sticky situation.

I have several co-workers on my FB including a couple of supervisors. LOL

I don't understand why people want to be friends with everybody and their sister. It's almost like a contest to see who can have the most friends. And people who have 300-400 friends, I wonder if they're really friends, or if they're just acquaintances.

I don't have that many people I've friended....maybe about 30 or so? But they're people I enjoy being around, not people I don't know that well. Some of them are from boards that I participate on, but know fairly well. Some I know because they're cat people. And some are relatives. I understand about denying people, too; there was a woman who kept trying to "Friend" me. I'd let it go and let it go and let it go. Finally, I just Denied her. I've also Unfriended somebody, simply because her posts were such a PITB to read all the time. Lots of cussing and complaining. Don't need that.

I try to keep everything fairly private. We don't post pictures much on Facebook, just the cats for the most part, and I have everything set for privacy.

I have four groups of people on my facebook account - friends, family, coworkers and dog people (both from rescue and other breeders). Because of all that, I have about 315 friends - and no, I do not know most of them personally. However, the coworkers I have on there incase I need to switch a shift or need to know something - often it's faster to FB them than call (I work with a bunch of young kids, lol) and the dog people I have on there for information about shows, judges, any rescue contacts that I may need, so I can see pups that are available easily when I'm looking to add to my program and if I have a general question about dogs that I need answered. It also seems to help a lot in deciding which breeders I would actually buy from and which I want to steer clear of - I can see exactly how many litters they've had this year, how they turned out and pictures of their parents. It helps quite a bit.

I do also have some people that I went to high school with on there, to be honest I could easily do away with those people and it would probably get me down to about 250-275 ish. I just haven't had the time to go through everything.

But my profile is fairly private, I set my albums that I don't want people seeing to family only or friends only. When I'm working on something for my friends book, I can put it in an album for her to see while I'm chatting with her so that we don't have to email the file and then open it - FB is just faster for that.

I'm not as active on it as I used to be and I definitely avoid it when I've been drinking because of who I have on there, lol.

I have friends, high school classmates, family, co-workers, members of TCS, members from a childfree forum, and people I've met in the "pole world" on my facebook. I have it privatized from outsiders viewing it without my approval because of a petty business owner I've ranted about before, and some others I made the mistake of requesting and then found out they were nuts. I have 400 friends on my list. Some whom I've never met personally, but I don't have Facebook as a super-personal thing.

I haven't added my boss, and he actually asked my team leader (who I was friends with BEFORE he was my team leader) why I didn't add him I guess thinking of him seeing my pole stuff is just strange, even though he's well aware that I do that for a workout.