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post #1 of 10
Thread Starter 

There is no death! Our stars go down
To rise upon some fairer shore;
And bright in heaven's jewelled crown
They shine for evermore.

There is no death! The dust we tread
Shall change beneath the summer showers
To golden grain or mellow fruit,
Or rainbow-tinted flowers.

The granite rocks in powder fall,
And feed the hungry moss they bear
The fairest leaves drink daily life
From out the viewless air.

There is no death! The leaves may fall,
The flowers may fade and pass away;
They only wait through wintry hours
The coming of the May.

And, ever near us, though unseen,
The fair immortal spirits tread;
For all the boundless universe
Is life; there are no dead!

Attributed to Bulwer Lytton
post #2 of 10
Gaye that is beautiful, thank you for sharing it.

I am again very sorry you lost your sugar-baby. I know you did everything humanely possible for her while she was alive and no one could have asked for a better cat caretaker.

Hugs as you deal with her absence from your life-

post #3 of 10
Thread Starter 
Thank you MA - it has been very difficult. More so than I ever imagined it would be.

As you know, I have known for some time that her time to depart was fast approaching ... and I thought I had begun to "prepare" for the resulting rollercoaster ride of emotions that I knew I would experience.

But ...

How does one prepare for the sheer emptiness of a house no longer shared with a beloved, long-time friend?

How does one prepare for the cessation of a routine began in love 6 years ago and continued in love and tender mercy each and every single day since then?

How does one prepare for the completely unexpected wave of uncontrollable pain that seems to come on at the most peculiar of times?

A sound, a word from an unknowing stranger, even the way a particular bird in the tree outside of my bedroom window calls first thing in the morning ... all remind me that she has left and will not be back. I awake each morning knowing with acute clarity that my day is spoiled by not having her to care for. And I go to sleep every night with bitter tears at the unfairness of life's undisputable facts.

This little girl was my "soul-kitty". She bonded with me in a way that no other cat has ever - I was there when she came into this world, a wet, wiggling little ball of pure loving energy and delight - and I was there when she oh-but-so-very quietly slipped out of it - without anyone but me even noticing until I said to the vet ... "She is gone." ... because I felt it. The pain and suffering of her illness over the past 6 years literally ripped through me and became my own at the instant of her death ... and it is nearly unbearable.

post #4 of 10
There are no words to fill that inadequate and empty space in your life right now, or to mend the hole in your heart. Only those who have experienced this searing pain understand the agony of your words as you type out how you feel.

I know it sounds trite and so far away, but it does get better over time. I also know that somewhere out there is yet another cat afflicted with Diabetes that needs your knowledge, your care and compassion, and I know, eventually you will find each other.

Hugs to you((((((((())))))))))
post #5 of 10
George was my soul kitty. I only had him for a year.
I cannot imagine the pain of losing your sweet sugarbaby after so many years of tender caring and affection.

After George died I could not stand being home. It was driving me nuts to not have him following me everywhere or to not be in my bed with me at night. Looking at his empty bed made me cry.

The week after he died it was very windy out. Everytime the breeze would touch my face I imagined it to be George. My children and I kept seeing Praying Manthesis (sp?) everywhere. My son said that they must be George following us around. He would talk to them like they were.

Maybe in time you will feel ready for another cat which will find it's way into your life. I had several cats knocking on my door after George left. . . . Morrell was the lucky one to come live with us.

post #6 of 10
I am also sory for the loss of your cat. I know you can have many cats but every so often one comes along and like you said is your "soul-kitty". Take care. ((hugs))
post #7 of 10
It is always painfull loosing some one special and it will take a long time to heal . I have lost some very special cats in my life and know what you are going through . My heart is going out to you and I am so sorry about your soul cat passing away
post #8 of 10
I want to say first I'm sorry for your loss. & second thank you. I'm not very good with words, I wish I was, but all the things you said about prepareing for it & how it feels when your baby is gone, those are what I'm feeling. My cat is 17 & has CRF I can tell the disease is progressing & I know she's due for a check up, but why should I pay the vet $130 to tell me what I know by looking at her. She's getting worse. Anyone with half an attachment to their cat knows when the time is approaching. We've been battling the CRF almost 2 years now & I guess I've tried not to think about it because truth be told I'll never be ready to not have her around. I can't imagine how lonely it will be with out her, I only imagine not sleeping in my appartment the first few nights. I wish I had some great words of wisdom , but all I can think is when the time comes, how will I go on?
post #9 of 10
gayef-My heart goes out to you. Thank you for putting into words the way it feels. I have an almost 18 year old cat, Snoopy and he's my soul kitty. I know his time is coming near, just because of his age, and I try to prepare myself for a future without him, and it just looks so bleak, and empty, like there will never be any sunshine or happiness again, because it will all be tainted if he's not here with me. Often I put try to prepare myself for that inevitable day, but all I can say, at this point, is that I hope I go before him, so I don't have to live to see him pass on.
post #10 of 10
My heart is with you, so, so much. I do so understand your pain... The only thing I can say, (and I do not say it tritely), is that time is the ONLY thing that will ease your pain a bit. It will not ever take it all away, but will make it more bearable. I STILL miss the pets I have so loved, over the years, and KNOW they are waiting for their Mommy, to meet up with them again, one day! One thing that helped me, was that it seems that a relative or friend would pass away, and not too long after, a pet would pass away. I HAD to envision that relative or friend, finding my dear pet, and protecting them and playing with them, to get through those most difficult days. That way, my dearest pet, was not (in my mind) alone, and confused--but with someone they knew and really, really liked a lot! {{{HUGS}}} to you, and I wish you comfort in your pain.
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