Happy to have found this place...

Hello, fellow cat lovers!

I found my way to this site after a very rough day and a few hours of googling...

Today, my beautiful baby boy, Tommy, was diagnosed with FIV. Tommy is a couple of weeks shy of his second bithday (July 4th, to be exact) and since the day he was born, he has been the love of my life. Two years ago, a stray female showed up at our door and we took her in. A few weeks later, she gave birth to two beautiful kittens. I knew Tommy was mine the second I laid eyes on him. We bonded almost immediately and have been inseperable ever since. Tommy's sister, a lovely Calico, was adopted by my aunt.

Right from the get go, Tommy showed signs of pure genius lol...and as the months went by and he grew big enough to roam the home, he never failed to impress... from learning to open up the cupboards in search of food (we thought we had a poltergeist for a while), to tearing open his, and only his, Christmas present (how did he know it was his???) while we all slept and waited for Santa. We often call him 'Tommy Tornado' because he has been a giant, unstoppable ball of energy since the day he could walk.

Tommy was always very healthy, never showed signs or symptoms that anything was wrong... the vets he saw all fell in love with him... he was fixed at an early age, and never once went outside. He regularly visited the vet, and had all his recommended vaccinations. That all changed yesterday... I noticed he was sleeping a lot... he was very lethargic and had a sad look in his once bright eyes. I figured I would give him a day... maybe he was just a little under the weather. Then today, when I came home from work, I found him in the exact same spot I had left him earlier... I touched him and he felt like he was on fire... his eyes looked so sad. He tried to walk, but could only do it very, very slowly and he stayed close to the ground. I knew immediately that something was terribly wrong.

I rushed him to the emergency clinic, and well, I guess you know the rest. They ran a number of tests and 2 hours later, he was diagnosed with FIV. My heart shattered and I couldn't hold back the tears in the vet's office. I don't know how he contracted it... he's never been in a fight, let alone a bad enough one to puncture his skin... he stays indoors... maybe he was born with it? I don't know. I guess it doesn't really matter... what matters now is he has it. He was given two shots, one to bring down his fever, and an antibiotic. Then, we were sent home.

My heart is broken. I feel like I have let my little guy down. I'm supposed to protect him, care for him, give him the best life possible... but, I obviously didn't do enough.

I know that FIV is far from a death sentence... and believe me, I am going to do everything in my power to try and give him a long and healthy life. I guess I'm just in shock right now.

Anyways, it's unfortunate that this is the reason I found this wonderful forum... I wish I could have met you all under better circumstances. However, I am grateful that I DID find this place... and once the shock and heartache subside, I look forward to joining in on the discussions and hopefully meeting others who are in the same situation I am in.

Sorry for the long intro... I guess I just needed to pour my heart out a bit.

Thanks for listening!

Welcome to TCS! Sorry it's not under happier circumstances, but I think you'll find good ears here, and lots of great advice from people who are or have been in your situation. I hope once the shock wears off, and your feet are back on the ground, you'll want to share some pictures of your lovely boy. Please make yourself at home.

My heart is broken for you and Tommy but there are many members here ho have experience with FIV and will be able to offer loads of advice. He more than likely WAS born with it, contracted from his Mom where she was a stray. Sounds like Tommy is incredibly lucky to have you hun. Welcome to TCS.

Sounds like Tommy is incredibly lucky to have you hun

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I totally agree. I am so sorry about his health. I think "higher powers" sometimes pick the strongest people to handle these babies who need extra love and care:heart3 I think you are one of them. From the sound of it there is NOTHING more you could have done to protect him and could not have love him more. I don't have experience with FIV but there are many here that have. I hope they are able to give you some useful advice and support to you once the shock has worn off

I'm so glad you found us, but I'm so sorry for the reason you went looking.

My hubby and I work with feral cats, trapping them and getting them spayed/neutered - adopting them out if we can, releasing them if we can't.

Last year we trapped an older seemingly very feral cat in May. He was so food aggressive he chased all the other ferals away. We'd never had one of "our" ferals test positive for FIV or FeLV before, and we've been doing this 10 years - many of them in this very spot. So testing isn't something we do when they're trapped and sterilized.

We live full time in an RV with mostly special needs kitties, so we can't foster, but we work with a foster network. We knew we had to get Chumley (at the time we called him Charlie) out of the colony - and he became friendly with us too quickly, so we knew he wasn't a "real" feral. The foster network agreed to take him when room opened up. Obviously at the time it was the height of kitten season. Rather than release him back outside, we rented a trailer and parked it next to us. Chumley had his own trailer.

We took care of him over there for over a month before the foster network called to say they had room. But he was a pretty sick kitty. He had terrible diarrhea we were working very hard to get under control. He hurt himself - and we learned he'd had a broken leg that was never set and had very restricted range of motion. He seemed very "itchy" - but had no fleas, mites, or skin issues, so apparently had allergies.

So anyway, the foster network calls to say they can take him. So off we go to the vet. We drop him off and say our tearful good byes. We get a call later that day - he tested positive for FIV. They didn't do an "intake" on him, because they put down FIV or FeLV kitties. What choice did we have? He came back to his trailer. I worked furiously to learn about FIV, and we decided to try to integrate him. I mean - we "only" had seven in the RV ( ) - at that point, what's one more?

But his "itchies" got worse, and he started to have bald spots. Our two regular vets (at different vet practices) weren't able to help solve his problem(s) - and we knew it was complicated by or part of - or exacerbated by - the FIV and his immune system. And while we'd gotten the diarrhea under control, he still had stinky soft stools.

Someone had sent me a link to this GREAT site: http://www.fivtherapy.com/ This documents two courses of treatment for Bud. The first one included "regular" meds used to treat FIV/(HIV) combined with herbals. If you read through the whole site, you'll find that if they had to do it all over again, they'd go with the second one, just the herbals. But at various points, they got Bud to test negative for FIV. I wanted to find a vet knowledgable with herbs to oversee treatment. I know that many of them interact with each other and regular meds, I don't know doses, &etc.

So... I searched the American Holistic Veterinary Medical Assoc for a Dr. of Veterinary Medicine (DVM) that was ALSO trained in herbs & chinese herbs. We were fortunate - there is one about 45 minutes away. I loved her bio, she also works at the pet help section of medhelp.org, so off we went. I've been documenting his adventure in this thread: http://www.thecatsite.com/forums/sho...d.php?t=224483. But he is doing GREAT. In fact - even though we're not following Bud's FIV therapy, a lot of the supplements they mention happen to be in the herbals he's been "prescribed" by his holistic vet. He's doing so well, she's suggested that we test him again for FIV in July and see what the results say.

There are also several yahoo groups you can join to get support and advice: FIV+ cat with high fever - suggestions.

Chum hasn't faced problems with inappetance or fever so I don't have experience there to share. I do know that when they're ill, it can take longer on the antibiotics, and usually you need stronger-than-would-normally-be-prescribed antibiotics. I also know that in order to avoid other problems, you must keep them eating, even if it comes to force-feeding - though hopefully appetite stimulants would work if it comes to that.



Your Tommy does sound like quite the character, and your love for him comes through so loud and clear! Not only is he a very special boy, he's obviously so very lucky to have you as his meowmy. You'll both get through this. But that first shock is... well... a shock! It's life-changing. But as you continue on your journey together, I hope it will just turn out to have been an unexpected "turn" in the road, so to speak.

Vibes to you both. To you, for strength, and to Tommy, for good health.

Oh, there's a P.S. We made slow introductions by first introducing his smell to our crew and their smell to him. Then we started bringing him over here for an hour or so, and gradually lengthening his stay. Chumley moved in with us full time in mid-July last year.

Wow, thank you all for your kind words! Your words have helped get me through a very difficult couple of days.

After Tommy and I returned from the vet he was very stressed, still running a high fever (when the vet took his temperature, it was 41 degrees), and he was just so tired. He hadn't eaten or had a drink all day and he was growing weaker. About an hour after we returned home, I checked his ears ad paws and his fever had come down substantially, so I offered him a couple of tablespoons of the wet food the vet gave us. He gobbled it up and asked for more, so I gave him another plate. He went to sleep right after that.

Yesterday, Tommy and I took a 'sick' day... we both just laid in bed for most of the day. Tommy wouldn't eat yesterday morning... not even the wet food the vet had given us that he had gobbled up the night before. He still hadn't had a drink yet either. It appeared he was having a difficult time recovering and I was extremely fearful. I was searching around the internet, reading everything I could on FIV and nearly all of the articles I read said FIV+ cats need to be eating a very high quality diet... so my mind wandered to the cupboard downstairs that housed his not-so-great food. I had tried several times in the past to get him off of the so called 'grocery store' brands and introduce him to better quality food, but he always turned his nose up at the better stuff. Back then, I accepted defeat and got him the stuff he wanted... but not yesterday... yesterday he was going to accept defeat and eat the food I want haha.

So, in my incerdibly sleep deprived and zombified state, I rushed out to PetSmart on a mission. After about 30 minutes of reading the labels of nearly every brand of food they carried, I narrowed it down to two... Halo or Wellness. I hadn't tried either yet, so I was optimistic that he wouldn't turn his nose up at one of these. I eventually settled on Wellness because it was on sale with their pet perks card and I figured that if he didn't like Wellness, well, at least I didn't pay full price haha. I got a small bag of dry food, two cans of wet pate, and one pouch of wet chunks... and no, I didn't stop there... after the food was selected, I decided to buy everything else PetSmart was selling... I ended up getting him a bunch of presents that included a new fuzzy-warm blanket, new food dishes, a couple of new toys, and even a fancy filtered-flowing water dish. Remind me to never again go shopping unless I have had a good nights sleep haha.

When I got home, Tommy was in the same spot he had been in since we returned home from the vet. After rigorously washing everything I had just purchased, I started by offering him the pouch of wet chunks. My goodness, it was as if a fire had been lit under his butt... he jumped up and wolfed down his first serving and didn't stop until the whole pouch was gone. I brought up a bowl of the dry stuff, same thing... gone! I brought up his new water dish... he drank from it! I was so happy... I just kept telling him how awesome he is. I also brought the litter box upstairs because he hadn't gone in a long, long while. And you know what, the second I put it down, he got up and went to the bathroom! Tommy was slowly starting to come back.

He slept in the spare bedroom all day... then, last night, I was downstairs cleaning the kitchen and when I turned around, Tommy was there! He had some more food, this time the wet pate, A LOT more water, and eventually munched on some of his new kibbles. He was still moving around slowly, but it was a world away from where he was the day before. He wandered around a bit, checking things out, and eventually settled at the back door, watching the rain fall. I saw a light in his eyes again. I had left his new blanket upstairs on my bed, along with his new toys... and after finally succumbing to the extreme exhaustion of the past couple of days, I went upstairs to sleep. When I got to my room, there was Tommy, sitting on his new blanket! He looked at me when I entered the room as if he knew this spot was for him... the look in his eyes said to me 'see, everything's going to be ok' I gave him a kiss on the head and a BIG hug, then I passed out like I've never passed out before haha. My eyes were stinging from the lack of sleep and the near 24 hours of crying... they had had enough, they were closing and staying shut, whether I liked it or not.

Today, he is up and about, he is eating regularly, drinking a lot, and using the washroom regularly... he is still not 100%, but he is pretty close. No crazy Tommy spunkfests yet, but he is alert... his coat has also regained a lot of its shine.

I still can't believe how quickly this all happened. After some clarity returned and I began reflecting on the past few days, it started to dawn on me... I have been very fortunate in my life to have never really dealt with sickness or death, with people and with pets. Actually, I have a dog as well... he celebrated his 13th birthday on May 25th and, aside from a bit of a gray beard, not a single person ever believes that he is 13. He is so spunky, playful, alert, curious... he's never had any health problems... I've had him in my life since he was six weeks old. I guess, in the back of my mind, I just always assumed that they would always be here. When Tommy got sick, it forced me to start thinking about mortality (i.e. the real world). Nothing lives forever... I won't, my puppy (yes, he's still a puppy to me!) won't, Tommy won't... all of these things came to the surface and forced me to think about things I didn't want to think about. I don't think the vet helped much either... I should mention that we had to go to the emergency clinic because Tommy fell sick 'after hours' so we couldn't see his regular vet. When the vet diagnosed Tommy with FIV she was very grim... I asked her what we can do and she simply replied 'there's NOTHING you can do...' When she said that, it was as if she had swung a baseball bat into my chest. There were so many things I wanted to say to her at that point... I wasn't asking her for a magical cure she might be hiding in her back pocket...I was asking about supportive treatments, etc, but I didn't feel as if she was willing to offer any advice, so I left it alone and gave her the benefit of the doubt... afterall, she isn't Tommy's vet... she doesn't know him... she works at an emergency clinic and the clinic was beginning to fill up... maybe she was having a bad night... who knows? The responses I got from the people in my life that I have told haven't been much better either... most say 'you should put him down...' I guess, like with HIV, a lot of people are still very ignorant about the disease. I know there's a lot that I CAN do, so I guess that's all that matters.

Tommy and I will be visiting his vet some time next week... we will discuss where to go from there. It was recommended that we do the Western Blot Test to confirm... I don't know, I am on the fence about it. I guess I will talk with Tommy's vet about it when we see him. One day at a time is how we will live from now on.

LDG, thank you so much for sharing your story... it fills my heart with joy to hear of the work that you do! I always said that if I ever won the lottery (you never know, right?!) I would buy a tonne of land and open up a rescue for any and all animals in need... and I mean it too... you watch, I'll do it! Thank you very much for the links, as well... they are a wealth of information and I look forward to rigorously reading through them over and over again. I absolutely want to begin holistic/herbal treatment too... I will be searching around for a good holistic vet to work alongside Tommy's vet. I live in Canada, Toronto, to be specific, so if there is anyone in this area who has experience with, or knows of a good holistic vet, please, let me know!

My mind has been spinning for a few days now... scared, dreadful, confused, in denial, heartbroken, angry, helpless, hopeless, empty, and so on...

But now, as I sit here and write my novel (sorry about that haha), I am filled with optimism. Tommy and I have an uncertain road ahead, and I'm sure we will encounter some rocky times again, but we will get through them, like we did this time. We will begin with some tiral and error, some things will work, others will not... but we will eventually find things that are right for Tommy and Tommy alone. Whether he decides to stay with me for 14 more years, or just one... it will all be done on Tommy's terms. Although I am still scared and wishing neither of us had to go through this, I wouldn't trade him, FIV and all, for anything. Every time I look at him I can't help but feel fortunate that he chose me to be a part of his life.

Like I said before, one day at a time

Thanks again for all your responses... you don't know how much you've helped

Here are a few photos of my little man throughout his first two years:










He perfected 'Blue Steel' at a young age...







And here he is today... doing something he loves doing... sitting on my desk, looking out the window, watching the world (and squirrels) go by...

Oh MY what a handsome boy he is! That sixth picture just says VOLUMES about his personality - what a picture, and what a cat!

I absolutely LOVED reading your update! First because of how well he's doing and how quickly he turned around - and secondly because you are in a MUCH better place! Those first few days... I know well. But once you're over that hump (and I'm sure it's helping that Tommy's responding so well to his treatment!) - well - hope shines through.

Oh - I searched the AHVMA (http://www.ahvma.org). You can search in Ontario. I don't know the geography of townships there, but there are a number of listings - some may be closer to you than this one:

RONA SHEREBRIN , DVM CVA
SECORD ANIMAL HOSPITAL
3271 YONGE ST
TORONTO , ONTARIO M4N 2L8
CANADA
Phone: 416-486-1700
Fax: 416-486-1795
Modalities Practiced: (Modality Quick Reference)
AC AC(CHI) BF CH CN CM NU MA WH also, Prolotherapy, TCVM, Tui-na, Lazer therapy
Practice Preferences:
SMALL ANIMAL
http://www.mytcmvet.com

AC = Acupuncture
BF = Bach's Flowers
CH = Chinese Herbs
CN = Clinical Nutrition
CM = Conventional Medicine (She is a DVM)
NU = Nutrition
MA = Message Therapy
WH = Western Herbs

It's a full service (really well equipped facility from what's available on the website).

I printed out the entire Bud's Therapy website pages, ended up sending it to her beause I forgot to bring it LOL, but discussed what we'd already done (brought his previous vet records) with her - and what we wanted to do. I also told his existing vet we were going to do this - she encouraged us, and we keep her posted and current. The "new" holistic vet was totally receptive, but wanted to explore the chinese herbals first as he had a "severe spleen Qi deficiency" &etc. And she's done wonderfully by him. We'll decide where to go after we retest him for FIV (Western Blot) in July and looking at his viral load.

Please keep us posted - and hope you join us in other fun on TCS.

he's a beautiful cat, I can see why you fell in love with him!

I'm sorry you didn't find us under better circumstances, but I'm glad to hear that Tommy's doing better!

He sure is adorable!