Nuts

He was only 2 years and 3 weeks old(exactly) but FeLV is mean and uncaring about age.

He was acting weird, just not being himself(hiding, not really eating, lethargic) so we took him to the vet on Tues and he had a fever so they thought he had an infection, they also drew blood since he was FeLV+ to see what was going on there.

The vet called with the results and they couldn't have been worse, the FeLV had infected his bone marrow. His white cells were at 2000 and his red cells were at 15%. They said we could try multiple things bu hat it would only be a matter of weeks and possibly a few months tops before we'd have to put him to sleep. We decided to not put him through that, I didn't want my last memories of him to be him in pain and miserable so we decided to let him go. He went peacefully at 3:15 yesterday in my arms. He's the 4th FeLV+ cat I've lost since Nov.

This is just a horrible shock, he had literally never been sick a day in his life. He was 11.8 lbs so he wasn't small either, he just looked so healthy and acted like it until a few days ago.

I just can't do this anymore and I have 2-4 more FeLV+ ferals outside so I have no choice, they all appear healthy but apparently that doesn't mean anything since Nuts looked and acted healthy. I just hope they stay healthy for at least the next 6 months(hopefully longer), I just can't take another loss right now. I know I'll be fine, it's just been a lot to deal with over the past 7 months. Those who work with FeLV+ cats know what I'm talking about.

The rescue we got our dog Dexter from, our neighbor is great friends with the owner and she has offered to give us a healthy cat free of charge since she knows how hard we work for the ferals, that we take awesome care of all our animals(we're responsible pet owners) and the trauma we have been through with all of this. They are just overflowing with cats, as is every other rescue and shelter in the area.(BTW- I talked to the vet about a new cat and she sees no problem with it since the virus can't survive outside the body for long and just to get the new cat vaccinated against FeLV as a precaution in case he or she gets out.) We're looking mainly at adults, I wouldn't mind a kitten but I know adults are harder to place. We saw a massive Maine Coon but I think they want to get him slimmed down(I think he outweighs my 30 lb dog, but his ideal weight would be over 20 lbs easily, he's not just fat he's a BIG cat) before he's available, I'll have to talk with the owner of the rescue. It's just weird not having a cat in the house(in the five years Paul and I have been together he has always had a cat) and Dexter seems depressed.

Taryn

The earlier ones were almost easier. Runt just died, I found him the yard dead, all I had know was he had a cold and seemed to be doing fine the day before. Half-Tail was just so sick, her cold had turned into a nightmare overnight(remember I lost her and Runt on the same day so I know what killed Runt, that same URI Half-Tail had) and she was down to 3 lbs and some change(she was 4- 4.5 lbs in her prime when she was spayed so she was little to begin with.) Attitude had been through so much and she just couldn't seem to kick the URI no matter what we tried and she was just so sick it was kinder to let her go, she was ready and told me it was time to let her go. Obviously since Attitude was 'my' cat it was really hard, but she had been through enough, she wasn't going to get better and she told me it was time to let her go.

The only reason Half-Tail's was so hard was she refused to let go, I held her for over 30 min while the vet gave her enough solution to kill an elephant. She just refused to give up and it's haunted me, I'm just glad my vet sedates them first. In the future I'll pay the extra money to have my vet euthanize the ferals instead of the low cost place, I don't think I'll ever be able to wipe what Half-Tail went through out of my head.

It was just easier the others were sick and it was very obvious they were sick, any idiot could tell that. Nuts wasn't obviously sick, I thought we were dealing with an infection(and so did the vet), not complete bone marrow failure. I did what I had to, I had the results and I knew it would be unfair to him to try and treat something and only get a few weeks to maybe a few months out of it and for him to have to be back and forth to the vet and get shots on a very regular basis and possibly a blood transfusion, that was just too much sufferring. He wasn't Attitude, he didn't think being at the vet all the time was just part of being a cat and he didn't enjoy car rides or sitting in the waiting room in a harness and leash. Attitude preferred to be on a harness and leash over a carrier, I always used a carrier for Nuts because that was how he was most comfortable, he went to the vet only for regular check ups, as I said, he wasn't ever sick.

This was also my 4th loss since Nov, I just couldn't stop crying and saying I can't do this anymore to the vet as he died. Like I said I'll take care of the ferals and deal with any issues that come up with them but the next stray cat I find is going to the nearest shelter and I don't care what they do with it(not really unless I could find a no-kill that won't kill the cat in case it is FeLV+, it's endemic in this neighborhood.)

Also, I have a question- what can I do for the dog? He is refusing to eat(he even refused a milk bone last night, he never refuses a treat) and was crying last night. Nuts wet his carrier on the way to the vet so he was just drenched in pee so Dexter didn't get to say goodbye before we buried him. I have tried to tell him the cat died because he was really sick but it doesn't seem to have helped. Nuts quit crying about Maude after I told him she died because she was really sick(liver failure, she didn't have leukemia.) I also let him say goodbye to Attitude's body before we buried her(they were litter mates) and it really seemed to help, he never searched or cried for her. Dexter's breakfast is untouched, he finally ate dinner around breakfast time(and I got him to eat a few rabbit cat treats from Natural Balance. He really likes them but he rarely gets them since they aren't dog treats.) This is not Dexter, his food is gone in 2 seconds normally. Unless I have to I'm going to leave his bowl down so he can eat when he's ready(I feel too bad for him to take away his food, he isn't being picky or difficult he's mourning the loss of his buddy.)

Taryn

The earlier ones were almost easier. Runt just died, I found him the yard dead, all I had know was he had a cold and seemed to be doing fine the day before. Half-Tail was just so sick, her cold had turned into a nightmare overnight(remember I lost her and Runt on the same day so I know what killed Runt, that same URI Half-Tail had) and she was down to 3 lbs and some change(she was 4- 4.5 lbs in her prime when she was spayed so she was little to begin with.) Attitude had been through so much and she just couldn't seem to kick the URI no matter what we tried and she was just so sick it was kinder to let her go, she was ready and told me it was time to let her go. Obviously since Attitude was 'my' cat it was really hard, but she had been through enough, she wasn't going to get better and she told me it was time to let her go.

The only reason Half-Tail's was so hard was she refused to let go, I held her for over 30 min while the vet gave her enough solution to kill an elephant. She just refused to give up and it's haunted me, I'm just glad my vet sedates them first. In the future I'll pay the extra money to have my vet euthanize the ferals instead of the low cost place, I don't think I'll ever be able to wipe what Half-Tail went through out of my head.

It was just easier the others were sick and it was very obvious they were sick, any idiot could tell that. Nuts wasn't obviously sick, I thought we were dealing with an infection(and so did the vet), not complete bone marrow failure. He was 11.8 lbs, so if he had lost any weigh it wasn't much(the amount was negligible and could be attributed to using a different scale) I did what I had to, I had the results and I knew it would be unfair to him to try and treat something and only get a few weeks to maybe a few months out of it and for him to have to be back and forth to the vet and get shots on a very regular basis and possibly a blood transfusion, that was just too much suffering. He wasn't Attitude, he didn't think being at the vet all the time was just part of being a cat and he didn't enjoy car rides or sitting in the waiting room in a harness and leash. Attitude preferred to be on a harness and leash over a carrier, I always used a carrier for Nuts because that was how he was most comfortable, he went to the vet only for regular check ups, as I said, he wasn't ever sick.

This was also my 4th loss since Nov, I just couldn't stop crying and saying I can't do this anymore to the vet as he died. Like I said I'll take care of the ferals and deal with any issues that come up with them but the next stray cat I find is going to the nearest shelter and I don't care what they do with it(not really unless I could find a no-kill that won't kill the cat in case it is FeLV+, it's endemic in this neighborhood.)

Also, I have a question- what can I do for the dog? He is refusing to eat(he even refused a milk bone last night, he never refuses a treat) and was crying last night. Nuts wet his carrier on the way to the vet so he was just drenched in pee so Dexter didn't get to say goodbye before we buried him. I have tried to tell him the cat died because he was really sick but it doesn't seem to have helped. Nuts quit crying about Maude after I told him she died because she was really sick(liver failure, she didn't have leukemia.) I also let him say goodbye to Attitude's body before we buried her(they were litter mates) and it really seemed to help, he never searched or cried for her. Dexter's breakfast is untouched, he finally ate dinner around breakfast time(and I got him to eat a few rabbit cat treats from Natural Balance. He really likes them but he rarely gets them since they aren't dog treats.) This is not Dexter, his food is gone in 2 seconds normally. Unless I have to I'm going to leave his bowl down so he can eat when he's ready(I feel too bad for him to take away his food, he isn't being picky or difficult he's mourning the loss of his buddy.)

Taryn