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Not A Very Good Week

post #1 of 14
Thread Starter 
First I found out that a very dear friend of mine is dying from cancer: they're saying he has only 2 weeks to 2 months left to live. This has been really hard on me, cuz I really care about him. He & his wife were really good to me after the abusive ex kicked me out into the streets, which left me in search of finding a place to live without any warning. Tommy & his wife were kind enough to come to my "rescue", by giving me a place to stay till I could get on my feet again and find a place of my own. When I ended up having to take a medical leave and had no income coming in, they still let me stay in their travel trailer till things improved with my situation. They were really good to me in other ways, too. I really want to go and visit Tommy before it's too late, but his wife doesn't want anyone over to see him - which I don't understand. A part of me is tempted to go see him in spite of what she says, but I also want to respect their wishes. I don't know what I should do. This has been really upsetting to me.

Then I found out that my son got falsely arrested and had to spend the night in jail. He's gonna fight the charges, but I'm worried that he might end up having a record - and he doesn't have so much as a parking ticket against him.

We also found out that if Randall doesn't go back to work, he's gonna lose his insurance & benefits. I have mixed feelings about him going back to work due to his health. On one hand, I'm kind of glad that he's going back: to be perfectly honest, I'll be glad to get him out of my hair. I'm sick of him sitting around all day long on his lazy butt not doing anything, and we need the money cuz his long-term disability checks got cut off which is hurting us financially. But on the other hand, I'm afraid that he won't be able to take going back - especially since he's been just sitting on his butt for so long: I'm worried that the sudden activity will end up killing him cuz he's not used to it.

Because of all the worry, I've felt like crap myself. My blood pressure has gone up again, and when it does I feel miserable. I've been having to take extra blood pressure meds to try and keep it under control.

All in all, I've certainly had better weeks. I haven't logged on to TCS cuz I've had to much to deal with this week. I've missed y'all!
post #2 of 14
post #3 of 14
to you Tiff. Why do these things always happen ALL at once. I am just sorry for all of it. Prayers to your dear friend. I wish you could go and see him....who knows why his wife is requesting no visitors, but I guess you have to honor her wishes. .

I hope Randall does alright back at work and this all works out. It might be good for him though, to get moving a bit , but not to overdo it at all. Much luck to Randall during this transition

I will also send some mega prayers to your son and that these charges can be dropped. Since the arrest was unjust, he should be able to get out.

And lots of and that you have a better week.
post #4 of 14
I'm so sorry to read about your friend Tommy
post #5 of 14
I am so sorry that you and your family are going through all of this. Keep your chin up doll and I'll send vibes that everything gets better soon.
post #6 of 14
Quote:
Originally Posted by mbjerkness View Post
double,
post #7 of 14
Many vibes for you that things improve soon and hte problems get sorted out. On the question of your friend, I have just been through the same thing when my ex died last month of cancer. His wife wanted no one to see him apart from herself and his and my daughter. SHe only allowed his son to see h im once, for about ten minutes. She felt it was all too much for him and also did not want people he loved to see him the way he was. Before it was too late I sent him a card thanking him for being a good father to our daughter after we split, and maybe you could do the same - something neutral but showing that you care and are very grateful for what he did for you.
post #8 of 14


I sure hope things improve soon. Sounds like a lot to have on your plate.
post #9 of 14
Hopefully this rough patch in your life will be over soon, and your friend will pass peacefully. Hang in there.
post #10 of 14
So so sorry to hear about everything that you're dealing with right now. I agree that a card with a heartfelt note inside would be a good thing to send to your friend.

Good luck with your son and Randall!! And with your own health!!
post #11 of 14
My thoughts are with you


The friend sounds like a really great person
post #12 of 14
I am sorry you are dealing with so much. You know my prayers and thoughts are with you. It is never easy to lose ones we love. I hope things work out for your son and for Randall. Hugs.
post #13 of 14
Wow, just wow. You certainly have had a rotten week.
I agree that a heart-felt card to your friend is in order; maybe some flowers, too? I know you want to respect his wife's wishes, but telling him how much you appreciated all he did for you seems to be the right thing to do.

I'm sure your son will be ok; if he was falsely arrested, it shouldn't be a big deal.

As for Randall, if his benefits have been or will be cut, he has to go back to work. If he's unable to do the job, the benefits may be re-instated. Maybe he has to prove he's entitled to them.

As for you, sweetie, take care of yourself. Sending a (((big hug))) your way, that everything works out for the best.
post #14 of 14
Thread Starter 
I've been thinking about if whether or not I should go see Tommy, and I'm thinking that maybe y'all are probably right about not going and just sending him a card & maybe a gift of some kind. I really would like to see him before it's too late so I can tell him in person how much he's meant to me, but I know I should also respect their wishes. If it were me, I don't think I'd want anyone to see me like that, either. And to be perfectly honest, I'm not sure if I want to see him like that: I think I'd rather remember him the way he was. I remember when my grandma had a stroke and I went to the hospital to see her just before she passed: it was not a pretty sight, and even though I'm glad I got to say good-bye to her, a part of me wished that I hadn't seen her like that. I wished I could remember her the way she was when she was full of life and didn't look so horrible. That image has never left my mind.

It's a difficult decision to make. I'm not good at saying good-bye -- not when it's someone I really care about. But yet I know I'll probably regret it if I don't say good-bye to him and let him know how much he's meant to me.

Thanks for listening, and being there, y'all.
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