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Any tricks/tips to get a cat more affectionate/snuggly?

post #1 of 16
6/16/11 at 9:14am
Thread Starter 
I am sure its going to be one of those "that's just your cat's personality, accept it" thing, but one never know until asked!

When I first got Monet as a kitten, he was very snuggly. As he grew older, he became less and less snuggly, and now, he no longer snugs against me in the bed (he'd sleep on the bed with me, but no longer pressed against me). He'd no longer climb on my chest in the middle of the night, demanding a petting session. I'd used to be able to put my arms around him and snuggle him like a teddy bear. No more

He'd no longer sit on my lap while I watch TV either. I'd use to be able to pet him from his spot on the couch and he'd crawl on me for more snuggles.. but no more

The only sign of affection he'd show is when I wake up in the morning, he'd be close to me (most likely being impatient for his breakfast), or when I come home from work, he'd meow and beg for a butt-scratch.. but no head butting or snuggles.

I play with him whenever he asks for it (before work, during my lunch break and when I come home from lunch especially). I brush him when he asks for it. He's an active kitty. He's always in the same room as me, and never tries to run and hide from me.

I miss those snuggle moments! Any suggestions to coax him to snuggle once again? I don't want to force him, and he doesn't sit on my lap when I pick him up. Would those feliway plugins make him more affectionate?

I want my snugglepuss back!
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post #2 of 16
6/16/11 at 1:28pm
I know exactly what you mean! My cat was one last week, and has become much more aloof than when he was a kitten. I was sad last night - my husband was at a late work function and Gilbert prefered to snooze on my jeans on the spare room bed than on my bed with me
I am at home during the day so he is with me all the time. Like you, i do all the "work" for him, including most of the play sessions. I even drive him to the woods everyday for an hours walk on his harness!!!
He has never sat on my lap BUT will happily let me bury my head in his super soft tummy fur and gives my nose a wash several times a day
I actually belive that he is so happy and content, that he does not feel the need for cuddles and reasurance - i'm sure that your cat feels the same
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post #3 of 16
6/16/11 at 4:21pm
Thread Starter 
it's comforting to think that the cats don't feel the need for cuddles since they're content, but still, I miss it! lol
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post #4 of 16
6/16/11 at 5:01pm
Hey Draco, your siggy is wonderful!!
I would like to hear opinions on this topic too. Turtle isn't a snuggle bug and I miss it! She probably spent her formative years away from any human nuturing, but she's still young so I still have hope
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post #5 of 16
6/17/11 at 4:58am
Thread Starter 
thanks for the compliment on my signature. i was bored at work and had a few minutes to whip something up, lol.

OK, I have a tip.. whether it's a fluke or not, no idea.
I normally do not read in bed before I go to sleep. this time I chose to. I guess Monet got jealous that I was paying attention to the book, and not him. He pushed the book out of my hands several time and plopped his fuzzy butt on my chest. Then for the rest of the night, he was spooning against me.

Im going to try to take out the book again when I feel neglected again, lol
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post #6 of 16
6/17/11 at 5:45am
If kitty is food motivated, you can instill a positive association of snuggling on your lap by allowing him to lick tuna juice or something off your fingers while you watch TV.

I don't feed my cats away from their designated area, but Wesley liked being groomed with his brush and pet along the top of his head and back, so he gets that when I'm chillaxing watching the tube. Consequently when I sit down for TV he plops right down on me or pressed up against my hip expecting treatment, heh.

Its all about positive associations, but also not trying to pick up and snuggle too often as kitties need their space too.

Another weird one which is probably just my cats, but they have perches by the windows and whenever they watch me work outside, whenever I come in, they are adamant they get lots of attention and meow until picked up or pet. The other thing is they REALLY REALLY like Dove's Men's Scrub soap (think thats the name), and get super snuggly and lick my hands and arms after the shower. When I use Old Spice gel, they never do that, so if you changed scents perhaps that is a factor. They also seem to get real frisky after playing w/ their catnip toy, although thats usually at dawn and dusk.
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post #7 of 16
6/17/11 at 6:24am
I tend to believe it depends on the cat's personality. I've been lucky to have snuggly cats except for my black cat Ebony. He would sit on the arm of my lazy boy chair but if I put him on my lap he would go away. The only time he would come on my lap voluntarily is if I was eating ice cream and he would climb all over me to get to the bowl.

My first Siamese, my Siamese/Himalayan cross, and my Siamese Bijou have all been my most affectionate cats. Perhaps that is why I'm so partial to them.
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post #8 of 16
6/17/11 at 7:37am
I'd say it is personality, to a large part. Only one of my current 5 is a real lap cat. It is one of the reasons I picked her. But 3 of the others do choose to be very near me, if not right on my lap,some of every day. And.4 of the 5 sleep with me, though not all every night or all night. It varies from one cat to three. If they snuggle or not at least partly depends on how cold it is. And if I spend the night in Tonya's room, the next night, in my own bed, the 3 others are all there. My Ariel does not cuddle or get in a lap, EVER!

But the oldest cat I have now is only 7. In the past, my cats have become more affectionate as they got older. Some didn't show much loving behavior until they were nearly 10. But then they became very cuddly for the rest of their lives.

The training Ducman proposes would probably work. But it would bother me that it isn't real affection.


Robin
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post #9 of 16
6/17/11 at 7:43am
Personality plays a big role in it but I've noticed some similarities with my 4. First off, none of the 3 females like being picked up. Could never figure out why but I'm beginning to gain their trust by gently picking them up and letting them hang their heads and front paws over my shoulder. I guess they feel like they can escape at any time and are content to let me hold them for a short time. All 3 of them love to snuggle but picking them up is almost "forbidden" My male cat is a spoiled baby. I can lug him around and do just about anything with him I want. He trusts me completely.

All 4 of them get a daily brushing and I use this time to try and bond with them. They all get a feline Greenies after their brushing and I've discovered that if they get a Greenies after I pick them up and put them down, they tolerate my holding them a bit longer. I've also made a game out of hiding a Greenies in my lap so they'll feel more comfy on my lap.

It all seems to work so far. The females seem to trust me more and now actually lay down in my lap after devouring the Greenie.
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post #10 of 16
6/17/11 at 7:56am
Quote:
Originally Posted by bastetservant View Post
The training Ducman proposes would probably work. But it would bother me that it isn't real affection.
It is pure bribery, but that doesn't mean it doesn't become affection once the behavior modification is ingrained and the bribe removed.

Its called operant conditioning, and it can even work on your S.O. if you are consistent for a long enough period, not just pets!

Its described by Thorndike's Law, which interestingly enough was actually first tested on cats. Neat, huh!
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post #11 of 16
6/17/11 at 8:12am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ducman69 View Post
It is pure bribery, but that doesn't mean it doesn't become affection once the behavior modification is ingrained and the bribe removed.

Its called operant conditioning, and it can even work on your S.O. if you are consistent for a long enough period, not just pets!

Its described by Thorndike's Law, which interestingly enough was actually first tested on cats. Neat, huh!
I think what I do is probably what you described. Bribery at it's best You just seemed to be able to put thought to keyboard better than I did!
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post #12 of 16
6/17/11 at 8:13am
Thread Starter 
lol. To bribe or not to bribe? *lol*

Well, I decided to listen to my cat when he gets in those 'rare' snuggly moods. I'll give him what he wants, but as soon as I see a sign he's had enough, I'll stop and leave him alone. Reward him when he's near me
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post #13 of 16
6/17/11 at 8:27am
I don't mind bribing to train. I just don't want to manipulate so they feign "love."

I usually don't try to make my cats do things they don't want to do (unless necessary). They do the same for me. If I wanted slavish devotion and obedience, I'd get a dog!

Robin
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post #14 of 16
6/17/11 at 9:58am
My question is, how old is Monet?
In my experience, kittens get very independant after they grow out of the cute fuzzies and remain that way until 2-3 years old.
Its been this way with every single cat I've owned.
But they've all come around after they've matured, and the ones I have now are not only cuddly and snuggly, they get downright annoying in their quest for molecular bonding to their human of choice.
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post #15 of 16
6/17/11 at 10:12am
Thread Starter 
Monet just turned 2 years 2 months ago

I hope he resumes being snuggly, lol
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post #16 of 16
6/17/11 at 1:36pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Arlyn View Post
My question is, how old is Monet?
In my experience, kittens get very independant after they grow out of the cute fuzzies and remain that way until 2-3 years old.
Its been this way with every single cat I've owned.
This has been my experience as well, except with Allen, who has been a lap cat from the moment he began trusting me.

However, I would like to add that because all of my cats are either ex-ferals or ex-abused, I "work" with them constantly. I never pass a cat without giving him/her a few scritches in their favorite spot, and I'll find and pet everyone ("making the rounds" so to speak) as often as I can throughout the day. In doing this, I've noticed that when my work schedule is heavy and I can't reach out to the cats as often, Spencer and Heather (the only two who are still overtly skittish) will regress.

So offering affection definitely has an impact; if nothing else, it constantly reminds the cat that being near me has its perks.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Arlyn View Post
But they've all come around after they've matured, and the ones I have now are not only cuddly and snuggly, they get downright annoying in their quest for molecular bonding to their human of choice.
Hysterically written. Thanks for the laugh!

AC
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