Advice about a breeder....

So we are expecting a kitten in mid August (YEAH!). But I wanted some advice about this breeder that I'm dealing with. Gasp yes a purebred! But before you rail me - I have (now and in the past) rescues, so does family, I believe in both.

Anyway. I researched and researched to exhaustion before selecting this breeder - I know the cattery is above and beyond good standard. I checked references - no ones she gave me either - I found kitten parents of hers and asked how they felt about the cattery and would they adopt from her again.

So my trouble is that communication with this breeder has been lax at best. The babies will be 6 weeks old on Thursday. I have received 1 picture. I have sent several emails that go unanswered for quite sometime or never. Keep in mind I have been dealing with her since before the mom was even known to be expecting.

It's worrisome to me. I don't expect her to completely screw me over. I highly doubt this to be one of those "ha ha there was never really a kitten" stories. But I have to trust this woman (who is in another country) to have selected a cat with a personality compatible for my home. I have to trust her to send her quite a sum of money and to put a cat on a plane. I can't even get her to send me an email at this point.

I just don't know what to do.

With all the greatest respect... I would never make a lifetime commitment to a kitten I couldn't meet and get acquainted with first. And I would never deal with a foreign breeder I've never met, whose house I've never visited. And no one can choose a kitten for you. It's like falling in love.

Wait a minute. It IS falling in love!

I really hope you'll consider another way of adopting. Purebreds turn up in shelters all the time, and there are rescue groups for all kinds of purebred kitties.

My best advice to you is to make sure she contacts you, and does it well before you send her any more money.

Good luck!

Well, we've had good experience with dealing with a breeder this way before. People who know cats know their personality. That would apply certainly to rescue as well. If those of you in rescue got a phone call from someone who wanted a cat who had XYZ type of personality you could tell them if a certain cat would be a good fit for them.

Say they had a small kid and another pet and they were looking for a cat who was more outgoing, liked to cuddle, was a lap cat and didn't mind being picked up. You know who in your rescue fits that bill for sure.

With email pictures and videos online it's not a problem. In any case it wasn't when we got our Tonkinese. Our first breeder we had pictures all the time and video at least once a week of the group of babies from 3 days old. I really felt like I had watched them grow up as much as if they were in my own house. I already knew EXACTLY who my girl was when she got off that plane.

In any case. This isn't a rescue vs. purebred issue. I have rescued. My family has rescues. My heart and soul of a cat was a rescue and we lost him a bit over 2 years ago. I couldn't do it for a little while. He was very sick because he was ferrel - it's a LONG story and I needed something different.

I don't judge any of you - please don't judge me. For those of you who HAVE dealt with a breeder my issue is simply I don't know how to handle this woman. I don't think she's "bad" I think I'll get a wonderful cat in the end. I just can't get her to talk to me!!! It's very frustrating! My husband is about to go through the roof.

Can you try calling her? Or posting the area that she's in to see if there are any members on here that you could PM? If they're in the same area, you might be able to find someone that knows her.

I breed dogs, and while I do get extremely busy I still find the time to email/call back my puppy buyers within 24 hours of their email/call. Is it possible that your messages are going into her junk mail? Have you checked facebook (if you have an account) to see if she's on there? If she is, you could try sending her a message that way - then you can be sure that it's not going to her junk mail, although you won't know how often she logs on or where she checks it from (my phone won't tell me if I have messages when I log in).

Have you thought about flying down and picking up the kitten yourself, instead of having it shipped to you? Usually the cost is in the same price range, although the two places you'll be flying between can really have an effect on it (ie. in the summer you can often fly from Toronto to Halifax for ~$90, but Timmins to Toronto is almost $1000).

You can also send her a certified letter, that way she will have to sign for it before she gets it and you will know then.

Personally, I would try calling her and seeing if you can't get through that way. If you can't, I would consider dropping it and going on your way. If you're out money already, then you can send her a certified letter asking for the money back and stating why, hopefully she would return it. Or, you can just wait and see what happens until the kitten is ready to go - but I would not send her any money until you actually speak to her next.

Well - we're already in for a little bit - the wait list fee, and the reserve on the particular kitten we selected.

I have spoken to her on the phone - and she was extremely nice. I know she gets my email because she always says she's sorry for not getting back or sending pictures or what have you. By all accounts she is just terrible at keeping up and really busy. I do get that and I am understanding of it all.

Really and truly I do not want to be a royal pain in her backside. I just don't think I'm asking for too much for her to drop me an email once a week to say hey all is well. Or Hi, yes I did get the last few hundred dollars you wired to me.

Bottom line is I do want this kitten from her - I want all to go well. But I have to put a lot of trust in her - and a lot of money! I'm considering sending a polite email to the effect of saying just those things and asking for more frequent communication on her part.

Anyone see this as rude?

Originally Posted by CarolPetunia

With all the greatest respect... I would never make a lifetime commitment to a kitten I couldn't meet and get acquainted with first. And I would never deal with a foreign breeder I've never met, whose house I've never visited. And no one can choose a kitten for you. It's like falling in love.
Purebreds turn up in shelters all the time, and there are rescue groups for all kinds of purebred kitties.

Click to expand...

Have to disagree with this one. I got Luna from Germany without meeting her breeder/seeing the kittens other than in pictures. I fell in love with Luna before I even met her. I didn't have any issues except for a slight language barrier. I got lots of photos and updates how the kittens were growing etc. We don't have any British Longhair breeders here or even Shorthair breeders with silver points so I had to get the kitten from abroad. It was also very good to bring some foreign blood here so the breeds don't get too inbred.

I didn't go to Germany myself. I have a good friend who flies fairly often between France and Finland, and she often switches planes in Germany so she picked Luna up for me and flew with her. We had arranged that after the deposit the rest of the money was paid in cash after my friend saw that the kitten was fine. I made a 'receipt' which the breeder and my friend had to sign to prove that full payment was made.

The OP mentioned a waiting list, which could partly explain the poor communication. The breeder's very likely getting lots of e-mails. If she has a website, maybe she updates more info in there which saves some time when compared to writing e-mails? I would however mention politely that you are hoping a bit more communication to make sure everything goes well (with the shipping for example). If the kitten is in a different country, you probably have to sort out which vaccinations, dewormers and stuff like that has to be taken care of if they differ from the kitten's original country's standards so you can get the kitten in your country? If there's lots of things to take care of, I don't think it's rude to ask important questions and updates, and if needed, to say that you would appreciate if they could reply more often.

I have always toyed with the idea of showing cats, purebred. But, then another rescue/feral comes my way and I just prefer to stick to rescuing the needy kitties. Anyway, What kind of cat breed are we talking about ????? Unless, I missed it somewhere , just wondering. Good luck with getting your new kitten home, and I am sure the breeder will contact you. Oh, never mind ( I read through your second post again), is it a Tonkinese? I just love those cats, stunningly beautiful!!!!!!

No - Not another Tonkinese. We have two Tonks. We are getting a Siberian.

I did not judge you -- I only stated what my concerns would be, and suggested that you consider another way of adopting. People who want purebreds are a bit different from people who stick to rescue cats; I understand that. Since you've adopted rescue cats before, I felt it was safe and appropriate to refer to the benefits (and pleasures) of getting acquainted with a kitten before adopting her. No offense was intended, to you or to the other posters here.

Originally Posted by CarolPetunia

With all the greatest respect... I would never make a lifetime commitment to a kitten I couldn't meet and get acquainted with first. And I would never deal with a foreign breeder I've never met, whose house I've never visited. And no one can choose a kitten for you. It's like falling in love.

Wait a minute. It IS falling in love!

I really hope you'll consider another way of adopting. Purebreds turn up in shelters all the time, and there are rescue groups for all kinds of purebred kitties.

Click to expand...

I thought CarolPetunia was very respectful with her post, and I agree with her points, too. I would neither deal with a breeder I couldn't meet and visit with, nor buy an animal sight unseen. For me, it's about the bond formed between us when we meet - however we meet - and that's what makes us family; it's not a purchase.

This aspect is moot, however, so setting that whole issue aside...

It sounds to me as though you really want a cat from this particular breeder, KittyMom4, but it also sounds as though some part of you is worried, and so you came here to ask for advice to ease that worry. In a situation similar to this, if I wanted something that could only be had from one particular person, but I was having the communication issues you are, I would start calling this individual and would leave plenty of messages until she called back. If she didn't, that would be enough of a red flag that I would have to seriously reevaluate why / if I wanted to deal with this particular person.

You have to ask yourself, am I ok with losing this money if this person turns out not to be reliable? If yes, then go through with the deal; if not, find a breeder who will communicate with you more transparently.

Hope this helps in some way!

AC