After two years of marriage and three more of separation, I will be divorced in the next couple of weeks. My feelings of failure to keep the marriage has long been gone. I feel free. Do not make the same mistake as I did. See, I met my husband at church gathering. A month after, we married. I didn't really get to know him until after we were married. I really don't know why I married him right away. I suppose its spur of the moment. I thought him to be a nice gentleman who will love and care for me. I was hoping to be a homemaker and not work. Well, my husband has been raised to have the women in his life(mother, sisters,etc) to cook for the men. I haven't. My mother was a modern woman who went to college and has a career. She does little cooking and little cleaning. She has the help of her husband and my brother and sister. Most men in mexico are in the old traditional ways. The women stay at home to care for the children, cook the meals, and keep the house clean. And here in the USA, the women do all that AND get a full time job to help with the bills. My inlaws and all my mexican friends know how to cook so by the time the men came home from work, the meal was hot and ready to serve.
I found my husband to be a bad-tempered man. He was very impatient with me. He would always complained about everything I did. His brothers and sisters made fun of me because I was not raised like them. I was the butt of hteir gossip. I had my husband tell me several times that I was good for nothing. He never hit me but he did call me names which is just as bad. He usually blamed me for things that happen to him. Like the time that I was three months pregnant. It was a hot July. We took my nieces and nephews to an amusement park. I took a nap before the trip but the combination of the heat of the day and my pregnancy took their toll and I fell asleep during the 30 minute trip. I was awaken when the police stopped us because my husband was speeding.
He was taken to jail on a suspended license. He was released with the help of one of his older sisters. He blamed me for it. Told me if I haven't fallen asleep, that it wouldn't have happen. I wanted to leave many times. But being a young, unemployed woman, there was no place for me to go. I also stayed because being a Christian woman and being married in a religious ceremony, I did not want to be divorced. My husband dosen't drink, but he did have a very bad temper that I told him he needs to deal with. I tried to keep the marriage alive. He wouldn't go to counseling with me. Many people believe he used me because he was an illegal alien. I was a U.s citizen and my parents(mother and stepdad) had a good income. People thought my husband was after me because he thought me being a us citizen and speaks english, that I could get a good job. He did complain to me about not getting a high paying job. How most illegals can get jobs right away. Well. most of the illegals look for jobs nobody else wants such as working in labor, housekeeping in hotels, and other places were there is low paying jobs. The jobs he thought I'd get were more demanding and only those with a good college education and good credits can get good jobs. My husband denied he used me to get legal because we got married in a religious ceremony and because we had two kids together. My husband expected me to cook, clean,a nd work at the same time. And to move at a rapid pace. I put up with it because I thought things will work out fine. But after two years, it was he who finally said it was time to split up. I agreed that he have the kids and I see them on weekends. I love my children dearly but I realize I am emotionally unstable and need to cope with the divorce. I also need to finish school and find a good job. He has more support than I do. I only have my mother and she can only help a little. Her husband hates kids and she can't watch them. On the other hand, my husband has his whole family here and a sister watches my children while he goes to work. I am going to therpay. I would also like to go to group therapy and help for single and divorced parents. I will have to pay the child support. But he is paying more than I do. And he has a heart condition(an artificial valve disease) But it will soon be over. I already found someone who i believe is my soulmate. I met him in december and he is really supportive of me. He always buys things for me(something my husband never did. He got mad at me even when I buy clothes). My boyfriend gives me money to spend. He loves my children and my children love him. Sorry this thread is so long but the story of my marriage is longer and more complicated. So if anyone has a related story and how they dealt with them please, I need the info so that I can become a better woman. I want to see my kids more but I need to deal with my emotions. Kimberly is four and Armando is three. I have a hard time dealing with them when they fight over a toy. Or I cook something and no matter what I tell them, they won't eat. Or not making them cry. Like if they do something I sent them to their rooms they cry and I feel very bad. I also feel bad when sometimes I leave them with their father and they cry because they want to be with me. Does anyone have alternatives to spanking?
I found my husband to be a bad-tempered man. He was very impatient with me. He would always complained about everything I did. His brothers and sisters made fun of me because I was not raised like them. I was the butt of hteir gossip. I had my husband tell me several times that I was good for nothing. He never hit me but he did call me names which is just as bad. He usually blamed me for things that happen to him. Like the time that I was three months pregnant. It was a hot July. We took my nieces and nephews to an amusement park. I took a nap before the trip but the combination of the heat of the day and my pregnancy took their toll and I fell asleep during the 30 minute trip. I was awaken when the police stopped us because my husband was speeding.
He was taken to jail on a suspended license. He was released with the help of one of his older sisters. He blamed me for it. Told me if I haven't fallen asleep, that it wouldn't have happen. I wanted to leave many times. But being a young, unemployed woman, there was no place for me to go. I also stayed because being a Christian woman and being married in a religious ceremony, I did not want to be divorced. My husband dosen't drink, but he did have a very bad temper that I told him he needs to deal with. I tried to keep the marriage alive. He wouldn't go to counseling with me. Many people believe he used me because he was an illegal alien. I was a U.s citizen and my parents(mother and stepdad) had a good income. People thought my husband was after me because he thought me being a us citizen and speaks english, that I could get a good job. He did complain to me about not getting a high paying job. How most illegals can get jobs right away. Well. most of the illegals look for jobs nobody else wants such as working in labor, housekeeping in hotels, and other places were there is low paying jobs. The jobs he thought I'd get were more demanding and only those with a good college education and good credits can get good jobs. My husband denied he used me to get legal because we got married in a religious ceremony and because we had two kids together. My husband expected me to cook, clean,a nd work at the same time. And to move at a rapid pace. I put up with it because I thought things will work out fine. But after two years, it was he who finally said it was time to split up. I agreed that he have the kids and I see them on weekends. I love my children dearly but I realize I am emotionally unstable and need to cope with the divorce. I also need to finish school and find a good job. He has more support than I do. I only have my mother and she can only help a little. Her husband hates kids and she can't watch them. On the other hand, my husband has his whole family here and a sister watches my children while he goes to work. I am going to therpay. I would also like to go to group therapy and help for single and divorced parents. I will have to pay the child support. But he is paying more than I do. And he has a heart condition(an artificial valve disease) But it will soon be over. I already found someone who i believe is my soulmate. I met him in december and he is really supportive of me. He always buys things for me(something my husband never did. He got mad at me even when I buy clothes). My boyfriend gives me money to spend. He loves my children and my children love him. Sorry this thread is so long but the story of my marriage is longer and more complicated. So if anyone has a related story and how they dealt with them please, I need the info so that I can become a better woman. I want to see my kids more but I need to deal with my emotions. Kimberly is four and Armando is three. I have a hard time dealing with them when they fight over a toy. Or I cook something and no matter what I tell them, they won't eat. Or not making them cry. Like if they do something I sent them to their rooms they cry and I feel very bad. I also feel bad when sometimes I leave them with their father and they cry because they want to be with me. Does anyone have alternatives to spanking?