20 years old! I was so impressed with that. She must have lived such a wonderful life with you. It is so heartbreaking to lose a cherished pet. It hurts soooooo much. . . . like someone tore your heart out. Let yourself cry. Try to remember all the good times.
When I recently lost my cat, George, I put a photo album together with his pictures (along with my other cat's) and also wrote down all the crazy things he did. . . . . like ringing bells to go out, tripping me when I tried to get up in the morning, etc.
I'm still trying to decide what to do with his earthly possessions (his favorite box that he slept in & his toys). For the time being it's right where it was when he passed away.
I let my new cat, Morrell have some of the toys, but I placed a special one next to his tin of ashes.
Take care. You will feel better as time goes on.