I think when one grasps the concept of how fleeting and special life really is, and sees the blessing in life, it is hard not to love yourself and those around you. Love is everywhere. And when it is all said and done and really comes down to it - love is the only real thing that matters.
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Can you say that you love yourself? ( self esteem )
- Thread starter snake_lady
- Start Date
I would say - I love my skin.Originally Posted by Snake_Lady
to all, and as silly as it sounds, go look in the mirror, find ONE simple thing you love about yourself and SAY IT...(to yourself, or here, your choice).
This for me as well.
I wonder why it's so hard for humans to be happy with ourselves
My lack of self esteem affects my marriage as well and I really don't like that. I always am feeling like I'm not good enough for DH and wonder why he's with me. That sucks. I have been to therapy a number of times, but it doesn't seem to have lasting effects for me.
I love myself as a person...who I am on the inside. I consider myself a very loving, kind person. HOWEVER physically I am so incredibly insecure.
I don't think I could ever be happy with myself physically. I thought I would get better with my dramatic weight loss, but it didn't because although I had a tummy tuck (completely covered by Medicare due to the extreme nature) I still have quite a bit of loose skin on my body. I still look in the mirror and see that "fat chick". I pick myself apart. It drives Dana NUTS because he tells me daily that I am beautiful, I just wish I could believe him.
I don't HATE myself, nor am I loving myself. I am perfectly content with myself.
While I do see areas of improvement (my weight, and my lack of abilities to go out and meet people), I do remind myself of my good points (I have education and a job that I love).
it also depends on the days too, lol.
While I do see areas of improvement (my weight, and my lack of abilities to go out and meet people), I do remind myself of my good points (I have education and a job that I love).
it also depends on the days too, lol.
Yes, we all need to do the mirror compliment to ourselves each dayOriginally Posted by Snake_Lady
to all, and as silly as it sounds, go look in the mirror, find ONE simple thing you love about yourself and SAY IT...(to yourself, or here, your choice).
I LOVE my nose piercing, I think it suits me wonderfully and I do like my nose.
You are beautifulOriginally Posted by Kailie
I love myself as a person...who I am on the inside. I consider myself a very loving, kind person. HOWEVER physically I am so incredibly insecure.I don't think I could ever be happy with myself physically. I thought I would get better with my dramatic weight loss, but it didn't because although I had a tummy tuck (completely covered by Medicare due to the extreme nature) I still have quite a bit of loose skin on my body. I still look in the mirror and see that "fat chick". I pick myself apart. It drives Dana NUTS because he tells me daily that I am beautiful, I just wish I could believe him.
Have any of you guys seen this mirror?
I first seen it in the Sears catalogue, then I seen it at Zellers, I think we should all go buy one
I first seen it in the Sears catalogue, then I seen it at Zellers, I think we should all go buy one
That's how I feel too. Thanks for putting into words for me.
What I find interesting about this thread is that so many women equate loving themselves (or not) with appearance. I wonder how men would answer the same question.
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #30
I do believe that society can play a part in making a womans appearance more of an issue than a mans.
I for one, was teased for always being a "larger framed" woman....I've seen "larger framed" men with no comments made about them.... Men tend to be seen as "larger" in general with more muscle mass, etc. Whereas to a lot of ppl, a woman with a large frame, muscular, maybe some fat, is ridiculed.
I hope that makes sense.
And I do stand as one of those women who believe that truly loving myself involves everything about me, which includes my physical attributes. Which there are a lot that I do not love.
But it is coming...... it truly is a learning or unlearning process, especially for those of us who have suffered emotional/mental/physical/sexual abuse, or bullying, or ridiculed because of body type.
I am thankful that society has changed the few on what a healthy womans shape is, rather than the anorexic models we used to see, now women are healthier which is great.
I have a lot of issues with self-esteem. When we were little, my mother always compared my sister and me. And I was always the "plain one with brains". My sister was always the "pretty one". It continues to this day.
At our party, my sister and I were sitting at the table chatting and one of my GFs came over and told us that it was amazing how much we looked alike (and I guess we should, since we're sisters). My mother immediately said loudly, "Oh no! *My sister* is much prettier than she is! *My sister* takes after me....she takes after her father." Everybody heard her. And, once again, I was reminded that I am plain. It hurts. Even at 56, it hurts.
When I was at my parents' apartment, right before my dad passed away, one of the Hospice nurses came in to see my dad. I introduced myself to her and she said, "Oh, you must be the pretty daughter!" And Mom said, "Oh, no, not hardly." For the nurse to have even said something like that? Means that my mother is STILL comparing my sister and me.....to strangers. And we're both over 50 years old.
My mother makes fun of my weight and she was tickled to death when I gained 15 pounds last year during the problems with my knee. I can't seem to lose those pounds either and she reminds me of that every time I visit. Several years ago, I had ballooned to almost 200 pounds; I was lucky to lose 76 pounds. But my mother never, EVER said a word to me as I was losing weight. I finally asked her if she was ever going to say anything. Her response? "Oh, I hadn't noticed." You would think that when a person goes from 197 pounds down to 119 pounds, it would be noticeable. Wouldn't it? Not to her. Never said anything. The whole time I was losing weight, she never said anything. (I gained about 15 pounds or so b/c I didn't like how I looked at 119, which took me to about 135 or so. Then she told me that I was getting fat. THAT, she noticed!)
I do everything to avoid having my picture taken....I'm usually one behind the camera. It's rare for me to have anybody take my picture.
My DH loves me and he thinks I'm pretty. That's all that matters.
Parents can do an incredible amount of emotional damage to their children sometimes.
At our party, my sister and I were sitting at the table chatting and one of my GFs came over and told us that it was amazing how much we looked alike (and I guess we should, since we're sisters). My mother immediately said loudly, "Oh no! *My sister* is much prettier than she is! *My sister* takes after me....she takes after her father." Everybody heard her. And, once again, I was reminded that I am plain. It hurts. Even at 56, it hurts.
When I was at my parents' apartment, right before my dad passed away, one of the Hospice nurses came in to see my dad. I introduced myself to her and she said, "Oh, you must be the pretty daughter!" And Mom said, "Oh, no, not hardly." For the nurse to have even said something like that? Means that my mother is STILL comparing my sister and me.....to strangers. And we're both over 50 years old.
My mother makes fun of my weight and she was tickled to death when I gained 15 pounds last year during the problems with my knee. I can't seem to lose those pounds either and she reminds me of that every time I visit. Several years ago, I had ballooned to almost 200 pounds; I was lucky to lose 76 pounds. But my mother never, EVER said a word to me as I was losing weight. I finally asked her if she was ever going to say anything. Her response? "Oh, I hadn't noticed." You would think that when a person goes from 197 pounds down to 119 pounds, it would be noticeable. Wouldn't it? Not to her. Never said anything. The whole time I was losing weight, she never said anything. (I gained about 15 pounds or so b/c I didn't like how I looked at 119, which took me to about 135 or so. Then she told me that I was getting fat. THAT, she noticed!)
I do everything to avoid having my picture taken....I'm usually one behind the camera. It's rare for me to have anybody take my picture.
My DH loves me and he thinks I'm pretty. That's all that matters.
Parents can do an incredible amount of emotional damage to their children sometimes.
to the first comment,
to the second comment, I know all too well about that. My mom was quite similar to yours and it does leave lifelong emotional scars and self-esteem battles
My hubby tells me all the time I'm beautiful, sexy, etc. It's wonderful to hear, and all that should matter, but I don't see or feel it. Lately I'm just doubtful of it. I've gained weight in the 6 years we've been together, and while I know some of it is muscle (got sweet biceps now
) from doing pole and all that, I know that some of it isn't.
When we got together I weighed about 97lbs. Now I'm around 125lbs (5'3" tall). My stomach isn't flat anymore and it drives me crazy. I've been trying to eat healthier and exercise more but I also have a busy life that cuts into all that. On top of being used to eating whatever I wanted all through HS and up til about 2 years ago without a problem.
Some days are better than others.
When we got together I weighed about 97lbs. Now I'm around 125lbs (5'3" tall). My stomach isn't flat anymore and it drives me crazy. I've been trying to eat healthier and exercise more but I also have a busy life that cuts into all that. On top of being used to eating whatever I wanted all through HS and up til about 2 years ago without a problem.
Some days are better than others.
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #34
Yes yes they can. As you've shown, the scars can show for many many years.
Tara, having seen your pics hun, I agree with your husband. I really do.
I know you've seen my pics and my weight loss stuff, but I would LOVE to look like you.
That said, self esteem issues come in all shapes. That's one thing I've learned, and one has to learn to love themselves.
I will never not have stretch marks. I hate em. But I've bared 2 children, and I've been up and down with weight, my stretch marks are part of me now and I am trying to learn to think differently. Instead of hating them, I am trying to look at it in the way that the cause of them, two beautiful children I love, or a weight loss battle that I conquered (am conquering).
I dunno how to do that with my love handles tho LOL. Even in great shape (back in highschool at 140lbs of pure muscle) I still had the blasted love handles. UGGGGG.
But I know I am not, nor will ever be perfect. I just gotta learn to love that every imperfection makes me me.
I wish my hubby told me I was beautiful, I really do....it would help so much. He's not a complement guy tho
I'm trying to accept that too, he is just not a complement guy. Which sucks. LOL.
I don't know how I missed this question, but you know my answer Chris. No!! I do not.
