I have a lot of issues with self-esteem. When we were little, my mother always compared my sister and me. And I was always the "plain one with brains". My sister was always the "pretty one". It continues to this day.
At our party, my sister and I were sitting at the table chatting and one of my GFs came over and told us that it was amazing how much we looked alike (and I guess we should, since we're sisters). My mother immediately said loudly, "Oh no! *My sister* is much prettier than she is! *My sister* takes after me....she takes after her father." Everybody heard her. And, once again, I was reminded that I am plain. It hurts. Even at 56, it hurts.
When I was at my parents' apartment, right before my dad passed away, one of the Hospice nurses came in to see my dad. I introduced myself to her and she said, "Oh, you must be the pretty daughter!" And Mom said, "Oh, no, not hardly." For the nurse to have even said something like that? Means that my mother is STILL comparing my sister and me.....to strangers. And we're both over 50 years old.
My mother makes fun of my weight and she was tickled to death when I gained 15 pounds last year during the problems with my knee. I can't seem to lose those pounds either and she reminds me of that every time I visit. Several years ago, I had ballooned to almost 200 pounds; I was lucky to lose 76 pounds. But my mother never, EVER said a word to me as I was losing weight. I finally asked her if she was ever going to say anything. Her response? "Oh, I hadn't noticed." You would think that when a person goes from 197 pounds down to 119 pounds, it would be noticeable. Wouldn't it? Not to her. Never said anything. The whole time I was losing weight, she never said anything. (I gained about 15 pounds or so b/c I didn't like how I looked at 119, which took me to about 135 or so. Then she told me that I was getting fat. THAT, she noticed!)
I do everything to avoid having my picture taken....I'm usually one behind the camera. It's rare for me to have anybody take my picture.
My DH loves me and he thinks I'm pretty. That's all that matters.
Parents can do an incredible amount of emotional damage to their children sometimes.
At our party, my sister and I were sitting at the table chatting and one of my GFs came over and told us that it was amazing how much we looked alike (and I guess we should, since we're sisters). My mother immediately said loudly, "Oh no! *My sister* is much prettier than she is! *My sister* takes after me....she takes after her father." Everybody heard her. And, once again, I was reminded that I am plain. It hurts. Even at 56, it hurts.
When I was at my parents' apartment, right before my dad passed away, one of the Hospice nurses came in to see my dad. I introduced myself to her and she said, "Oh, you must be the pretty daughter!" And Mom said, "Oh, no, not hardly." For the nurse to have even said something like that? Means that my mother is STILL comparing my sister and me.....to strangers. And we're both over 50 years old.
My mother makes fun of my weight and she was tickled to death when I gained 15 pounds last year during the problems with my knee. I can't seem to lose those pounds either and she reminds me of that every time I visit. Several years ago, I had ballooned to almost 200 pounds; I was lucky to lose 76 pounds. But my mother never, EVER said a word to me as I was losing weight. I finally asked her if she was ever going to say anything. Her response? "Oh, I hadn't noticed." You would think that when a person goes from 197 pounds down to 119 pounds, it would be noticeable. Wouldn't it? Not to her. Never said anything. The whole time I was losing weight, she never said anything. (I gained about 15 pounds or so b/c I didn't like how I looked at 119, which took me to about 135 or so. Then she told me that I was getting fat. THAT, she noticed!)
I do everything to avoid having my picture taken....I'm usually one behind the camera. It's rare for me to have anybody take my picture.
My DH loves me and he thinks I'm pretty. That's all that matters.
Parents can do an incredible amount of emotional damage to their children sometimes.
yes, that is what matters most and you have to believe it too!!!!!!!! 
. You are not alone 
) from doing pole and all that, I know that some of it isn't.
