Respect - It's one of the rules here

Let me begin by saying that this is not on behalf of the Moderating Team. I am just so disgusted by a few threads I just read that I need to say a few things. I'm sure I speak for a fair amount of the members.



There seems to be a different tone to many of the threads lately and itâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s certainly not a positive change. I have never seen such a lack of respect for fellow members. The biggest concern to me is that this is not happening in the IMO forum, it is happening in the health, care and behavior forums, where members, new and old, turn for advice when they have a problem. Many threads are getting personal when there is absolutely no need for it. Iâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]ve also never seen so much of the “I am right, you are right†attitude as I have been seeing lately.



If you enjoy the anonymity of the internet and want to take potshots at others or prove how brilliant you are, this is not the place for you. We donâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t welcome or tolerate that type of behavior here.



Please take some time to read the forum rules before posting:


http://www.thecatsite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=15184

Originally Posted by AbbysMom

If you enjoy the anonymity of the internet and want to take potshots at others or prove how brilliant you are, this is not the place for you. We don’t welcome or tolerate that type of behavior here.

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Thank you! This is the reason we have so many long time members! I have no desire to take part in any community, online or not, where people disrespect each other. IMHO...it's childish and unnecessary. I don't have time for it.

The board I often go on for baby advice is like that and if I didn't get good advice there I would have quit it altogether a long time ago.

Thanks for saying so, it is a good reminder. Some of the personal attacks lately labeling members racists, terrorists, etc is quite over the top. Definitely appreciate the helpful community where different opinions can be shared w/o open hostility.

Time to take a step back and get in on a good ol' heh.

One of the biggest characteristics of TCS over othere places is the Familiar eviroment that you can "breath" here, you can talk about anything of course in the right forum but with total & ABSOLUTELY

RESPECT!


For many of us, TCS is our second REAL HOME in the world, many member came to here because the real world is sometimes RAW!...

PLEASE, you can contribuite to grew up this enviroment, ALL MEMBERS make TCS not one member or one Mod.......

Keep in mind this always!...

Originally Posted by Ducman69

Thanks for saying so, it is a good reminder. Some of the personal attacks lately labeling members racists, terrorists, etc is quite over the top. Definitely appreciate the helpful community where different opinions can be shared w/o open hostility.

Time to take a step back and get in on a good ol'

heh.

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Yeah, that.

Thank you for this post! It's always good to have a reminder.

Here here! It would be terrible for people to decide not to post at all because they are afraid to get jumped on by those who refuse to respect other opinions.

Thanks so much for the reminder. I agree completely. What I've always loved about TCS is the atmosphere of respect, support and the willingness of members to offer helpful advice. If all people want to do is demonstrate that they're right and take the attitude that their way is the only way, it doesn't do anyone any good - humans or cats.

Yeah, there was one post in particular that rubbed me the wrong way. Someone was giving advice and the response was "I am not an idiot". Maybe the poster was not but perhaps a great many of us were on the particular subject.

Amen to that! I just found out today that one of our members has decided to leave due to that very thing. I for one am gonna really miss her: she always gave such good advice & input. It's a shame to have to lose her.

This is so sad. What in the world is wrong that people can't be nice to each other and treat them with respect. I am so sorry to read Kitt Katts post about someone leaving this site because of such goings on. I do hope that this thread will be seen and read by any guilty party and that these actions will cease. I am glad the link to posting rules was posted as this can serve as a reminder to be nice.

Originally Posted by KittKatt

Amen to that!

I just found out today that one of our members has decided to leave due to that very thing.

I for one am gonna really miss her: she always gave such good advice & input. It's a shame to have to lose her.

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Not sure who that person is, but hopefully she feels she can come back at any time.

Originally Posted by c1atsite

Not sure who that person is, but hopefully she feels she can come back at any time.

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Leaving certainly isn't the answer. More like the attitude of ignore it. Some people just like to argue for the sake of arguing. Why is that ?

If a poster is not even willing to entertain the other person's position or argument, they have a closed mind towards reasoning and feedback and there is absolutely NO point in correcting or trying to win them over.

"When an argument flares up, the wise man quenches it with silence."

Hear hear! Very well put, Karen!

One thing I want to add are the ol' "just because..." clauses.

• Just because you are a regular here in the Cat Lounge doesn't mean that the regulars in the Health & Nutrition or Behavior sections know the extraordinary measures that you've already taken and didn't delineate because "everyone knows me here."
  
  Have patience!
• Just because you know the importance of spay/neuter and wouldn't dream of declawing (or inherited/adopted an already declawed cat), remember that TCS is an educational forum. The person who finds your thread with a search down the road may not, and may learn it then. Think of the future!
• Just because we disagree vehemently on whatever topic, whether in IMO or on the wet/dry or raw/processed debated, we should always be able to laugh and cry with each other down the road. Don't say anything in the heat of the moment that will alienate someone. Remember - we ALL love cats!

It is very easy to get frustrated online. You can't hear the tone of voice. It can (way too) easily sound like we're "ganging up" on a new poster when too many people tell them to spay/neuter or whatever the message. Sometimes they deserve it - most of the time they don't. Most of the time we sure don't mean to sound like that, but it does.

People come here because they have questions - sometimes urgent questions. The way they are treated in that first thread, whether in New Cats, Fur Pics, H&N, etc. determines if they will stay. If they are ignorant - not having the knowledge - it will determine if they stay and learn or if they turn away from the knowledge we have.

Originally Posted by elayman

Leaving certainly isn't the answer. More like the attitude of ignore it.

Some people just like to argue for the sake of arguing. Why is that ?

If a poster is not even willing to entertain the other person's position or argument, they have a closed mind towards reasoning and feedback and there is absolutely NO point in correcting or trying to win them over.

"When an argument flares up, the wise man quenches it with silence."

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For the record, the person I'm referring to did make several attempts at trying to keep the peace between the members she's had issues with - all to no avail. I know this person quite well, and she's not one to argue, but she won't necessarily back down, either. She certainly isn't one to "ignore" anyone either, and will respond if need be. She just got to the point where she was fed up with what had been going on, and decided it was best to leave. It's a shame to lose her, because she really is a knowledgeable person pertaining to many things: and she's a real sweetheart, too. Her leaving has nothing to do with having a closed mind towards reasoning & feedback.

Originally Posted by blueyedgirl5946

This is so sad. What in the world is wrong that people can't be nice to each other and treat them with respect. I am so sorry to read Kitt Katts post about someone leaving this site because of such goings on. I do hope that this thread will be seen and read by any guilty party and that these actions will cease. I am glad the link to posting rules was posted as this can serve as a reminder to be nice.

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I just wanted to address this post. Sometimes folks are going through a rough patch in their lives and may get upset over something that normally would just roll off their backs and feel they need a break. Many of those folks do come back after a "cooling off" period and continue to contribute to this site.

Also, at times we have "trolls" who come here to stir up trouble. If someone is bothering you, don't go away mad, just put them on ignore and you'll not be bothered by them again.

We can only educate with kind words, not anger and blame. As the old adage goes, you can catch more flies with honey than vinegar.

Originally Posted by Yosemite

I just wanted to address this post. Sometimes folks are going through a rough patch in their lives and may get upset over something that normally would just roll off their backs and feel they need a break. Many of those folks do come back after a "cooling off" period and continue to contribute to this site.

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I can relate to that. I stayed away for quite some time myself at one point: not only due to health issues which were causing too many problems and personal issues with my home life, but also because of a few members that rubbed me the wrong way. Maybe I'm too sensitive at times and let things bother me that shouldn't - I don't know. I finally decided that I wasn't gonna let those people keep me away from a place that I enjoy coming to - not only because of the cat aspect of TCS, but also because I've made friends here that I enjoy communicating with, and really missed. Why let a few bad apples spoil the whole bunch? Life is too short to let things like that bother you, when there's also enjoyment to be had.

Also, at times we have "trolls" who come here to stir up trouble. If someone is bothering you, don't go away mad, just put them on ignore and you'll not be bothered by them again.

.

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Very good advice. Or, as someone else once wisely said, you can just not communicate with them at all. It takes two to make a dispute.

Originally Posted by KittKatt

Amen to that!

I just found out today that one of our members has decided to leave due to that very thing.

I for one am gonna really miss her: she always gave such good advice & input. It's a shame to have to lose her.

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There have been several that have left. Some of them I really miss. I hope some day they will come back.

I have noticed this, too. It is usually in the Behavior and SOS sections; many of those members have recently (relatively) signed up. I suspect that they were referred to this forum or perhaps found it by googling their problem. Those members are usually the hit-and-run types. They find answers to their problems and then leave. They don't care to be "preached to."

Threads by one new member have bothered me for awhile, but I didn't report because I didn't know if they had violated any rules or whether it was trolling or just obnoxiousness.