Missing Cat ...question might upset some

Originally Posted by bastetservant

This is a terrible situation for you. Not to know is the worst thing. I'm so very sorry.

I'm still thinking of Mike, and feralvr's Yogi, everyday, several times a day and giving prayers that they both come home safely.

It is very understandable and appropriate that you are depressed about this. It's a devastating loss. I'd be inconsolable.

As long as you have the strength to carry on doing the things you've been trying to do to find him, even putting up the flyers over and over, calling every shelter (or visiting them) within a 30 mile radius, etc. as long as you can stand to do it, it's worth doing. As heidik said, cats are often found long after they are lost.

I won't be stopping my prayers

Robin

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I won't be either. For Yogi too.

I wish your Mike would come home. I am still waiting for Yogi too. It has been twenty four days and it is hard for me to give up and not hope each morning I will see him in his usual spot . I think of you each day and can empathize with what you are going through. I like to hear stories from others who have had cats show up or be found even weeks later. We can hope

Thanks for replying, it really is comforting to know others really can relate to what myself and others who have lost their beloved pets go through..I am silently suffereing here as life keeps on at its regular pace...all I can do is keep looking and hoping he comes home ...sooner than later would be best..

Please come home Mike

Originally Posted by Nance

Thanks for replying, it really is comforting to know others really can relate to what myself and others who have lost their beloved pets go through..I am silently suffereing here as life keeps on at its regular pace...all I can do is keep looking and hoping he comes home ...sooner than later would be best..

Please come home Mike

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Just

Spotted a cat today while out driving....it looked so much like Mike...I stopped the car...got out to check..but as soon as he turned around I knew it wasn't him..this cat had the same markings but again was larger around the middle than Mike plus he had a tag on....Its so disappointing ...thought it was him

I keep hoping and praying. It has to be so hard on you.



Robin

Still thinking of you and know the emotional toll this must be taking on you. That feeling of helplessness is just overwhelming. I am still hoping Mike is found

Thank you all for sticking through this with me...I can't believe Thursday will be 4 weeks...its almost unimaginable to me at times that he has been gone for so long...I get very sad when I think about certain things he used to do..I miss him terribly..what am I going to do ?

I know . I am trying to put this in words... To me, having a cat that has gone missing, having no idea where they are, or if they even are anymore, is worse than having to lose a cat in any other scenario. Not knowing and the fact that we might never know, is just unbearable. Somehow you just have to accept this and pray wherever your cat may be, he is where he should be and you just have to let go. Never to be forgotten though. I am really sorry about Mike.

Feralvr...I know u can relate..and I am sorry your going through the same emotional rollercoaster as I am..I have dealt with several of my animals deaths..never in 30 plus years of owning pets have I ever lost one like this...I have to try harder to control how I am thinking...at night is the hardest..when its time to relax I think about him...Its rough I'll be having an ok day and then my daughter or son will say geee I wonder where Mike is ...I think something happened to him that Thursday he went missing...and I need to convince myself he is gone..and stop letting my thoughts wonder to what if he isn't dead

I'm just so sorry!

Originally Posted by Nance

Feralvr...I know u can relate..and I am sorry your going through the same emotional rollercoaster as I am..I have dealt with several of my animals deaths..never in 30 plus years of owning pets have I ever lost one like this...I have to try harder to control how I am thinking...at night is the hardest..when its time to relax I think about him...Its rough I'll be having an ok day and then my daughter or son will say geee I wonder where Mike is ...I think something happened to him that Thursday he went missing...and I need to convince myself he is gone..and stop letting my thoughts wonder to what if he isn't dead

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YES to what you just said. I think deep down, we know they are just.. gone. I felt it in my soul about Yogi almost immediately after a couple of days without seeing him, somehow I just knew it. The nights are always the hardest with any emotional turmoil in our lives because we just lie there and......... think .........instead of . I pray you can come to peace with this and can begin to heal emotionally. You loved him so much and he knows it, forever

I am not sure why I am going to post...but I am in a bad place right now...I am trying to go on ..trying NOT to even think about what happened to Mike but the deep dark thoughts still pop up every now and then...I can't let those thoughts get in...cause its total devastation...I will be having a good day then something will remind me of him...Tonight my lap feels empty because he always would sit with me at night while I watched tv ... I instantly cry ...I'm really at a loss on how to deal with the not knowing...I don't really think my family gets how much this has affected me...I've had to take medication just to sleep some nights...Like I said b4 I've lost many many pets thru out the years...I believe if he was dead ...I wouldn't be feeling this feeling as intense as I am and for so long...My b/f thinks I should be feeling better by now...in fact I am worse...he doesn't really know how bad I really am...Of course now there is some guilt I didn't do enough in those first few days...maybe I should have put more flyers out... I think last night and tonight have been the worst because someone I know took a stray cat that was hanging around her house out into the country and dumped it...She had asked if I wanted the cat...I said I couldn't right now...I suggested placing an ad...taking it to the OSPCA...IF I would have known she would have done that to that poor cat I would have taken it in or at the least taken it to a shelter...How can ppl be so insensitive ? So that has me thinking could someone have done that to Mike ? I'm sorry for the long winded post...no one else I know understand to care so much about a cat...most think its just a cat...gets another one

Listen, sweetie please allow yourself to be in this bad place.... It is all part of the grieving process. And this is a cat lovers WORST nightmare, losing a cat and not knowing what has happenned to your loved kitty, worse than losing your cat to illness or disease. This will be a long process and I totally understand your pain and sadness. You are not alone in your pain. This is totally normal, what you are going through. Don't be hard on yourself and try to surround yourself with people who will just listen to your sorrow and be understanding. "THIS TOO WILL PASS" . You will, in time, intellectually accept Mike's disappearance. But, emotionally, you will always wonder about what really happenned to him, a cruel part of life . You have to focus now on what good you did for Mike during the time he was yours. He was loved deeply, he was lovingly cared for, he was given everything you had to give each day of his life with you. He had another calling.... one we will not know, but I believe he is where he is suppose to be and you have to have faith that he is in a good place and believe. I am sorry if I am rambling.....my heart goes out to you and I am sad you are so sad

I wish I could come up with some words to comfort you in some way. Your grief over the loss of Mike has affected me deeply. Your love for him and connection with him on the most profound level two living beings can have, is so apparent. Mike was and is dearly loved by you. How many of us will have the grace of being so much missed and cherished? Lots of people won't understand that this cat was a unique and singular spirit that you connected with, as few such bonds happen in any one life. People who say "it was just a cat" are people who.have never had such a connection with anyone. Feel sorry for them.

Mike knew your love, and he knows it now, wherever he is. And nothing will ever change that. You were a good meowmy to him as long as you were allowed to be. He went out and met his destiny, which, sadly, was without you. But that doesn't mean he wasn't happy in the loving home you provided.

Cats are free spirits and really never belong to anyone but themselves. If we are lucky, we get to share most of their lives with them. But sometimes that is not how it is meant to be.

You really, REALLY, don't know that anything bad happened to him, other than he left home. Try not to imagine the worst, because you don't know. Cats do leave home, and even years later it is found that they are alive and well. It usually isn't known where they were or what it was all about. Cats are mysterious creatures. It is one of their many charms.

That you don't know what happened to him is the cruelest thing for you to bear. This kind of thing only happened to me once, over 50 years ago, with a cat that wasn't even mine. I imagined, with the optimism of the young child I was, that someone saw the loveliness of the dear kitten who lived under my grandmother's porch. And so took him away to live with them. So he suddenly wasn't there that summer morning when I called and called for him. I was heartbroken and I'll never know, but I still believe it all turned out all right for him.

I will hope you find some peace with this, in time. And I will continue to hope for little Mikey's wellbeing.

Robin

I saw that there was some posting here and I couldn't even read them til I found myself alone....I knew the tears would flow...you both have been so nice and understanding to me and both always have the right things to say to me....Thank you both so very much...I know with time this horrid event will fade..but never go away..Its a hard lesson to learn..I still have 4 other cats and 2 dogs..One of my cats was born outside and for the love of some gentle people she was able to be socialized..and we lovingly accepted her in our family..She however always wanted outside..I started tying her out because she always had this desire to be outside...I only tie her out when I am outside with her....I am alittle paranoid now that she will get away too..I honestly think I will never let a cat roam outside freely ever again..again thank you ladies for being so kind hearted..

Aw, Hon, I wish I could give you a hug in person.

Really we just want you to feel better. And time heals our wounds, some heal with a deep scar though, but eventually the pain goes away . Do try to focus on your other cats and your dogs too. You are quite the animal lover and that will help you heal . Keep in touch, things will get better

So I'd like to share what I went through. Sorry I know its going to be TL'DR

I let my cat out at night. Usually in the early night and he usually sits on the front step or strays 3 houses. Then comes in about an hour later. That's it.

I let him back in at around 10 pm sometimes I will let him out again later in the night and he can come back in himself but doesnt like to because the gap in the door is abit tight but when he is scared he does it.

So... My husband let him out again at about 3am but I didn't wake up to let him back in at 5am. I thought my husband had left the door open for the cat to come back in but he'd forgotten.

So anyway... I wake up at seven to this really loud noise - our neighbours are having their house steamed cleaned and the noise is unbearably loud. Like unbelievably loud. I know my baby hates noise so I'm thinking I'll go check on him to see if hes ok because he lets himself in usually. Well... hes not in the living room. Or anywhere in the house AND the front door is shut and he isnt on the front step.

At this point I'm kicking myself for letting hubby let him out. Hes probably scared and frightened. So I go looking for him in the neighbourhood. I call and ttt but he isnt responding. Normally he comes dashing towards him. At this point the steam cleaners have gone and traffic on the major roads around have picked up alot, so I'm freaking out a lot since he is never out during the day and even though we don't live that close to a major road and he never strays more then 3 houses. I'm still worried. I look for him in places he could be stuck like a tree or roof. I look everywhere. Even cats that I don't own or know have responded to my calls... but not him. =/

Now I have no choice and I decide to check the major road. As soon as I reach the major road I spot him. A medium long haired tabby cat with white confined to the paws neck ruff with a cream and white flank lying oddly almost like he is sleeping.


____GRAPHIC____

As I approach I start running. I'm terrified. I can tell something is wrong. What if my baby is dying and in pain? He is lying completely still. When I reach him it looks like he has been hit on the head maybe by a bumper but not run over. Oh his face and eyes...! the sweet expression from them gone. He is rigid. It must have been a few hours but there is no smell.

I break down. I can't breathe I'm suffocating in grief and terror. The pain is unbelievable. I've let him down. My darling. My baby. I feel sick with shock and horror

________

I run back home. I can't call for my husband. I can't breathe. I can't think. Nothing.

My husband checks him. He is in denial. He says ' that cat is wearing a black collar. Our doesn't wear a collar' But I'm convinced its him and I can tell by the horrified expression on his face that deep down he knows. It's him.

We decide to move him home.

I don't know what to do but I decide I will bury him when my husband has gone to work.

I get the shovel out. I start digging. Ican't look at him. Just the thought of looking at him and I feel waves of revolution.
I have a terrible migraine. I'm sick with disgust with myself. I keep thinking... 'How could I have been so stupid and irresponsible with someone I love so much?' It hits me how much we don't appreciate the things we have until they are gone. Halfway through digging his grave I break down. I start hearing meowing.
I think I have a little weird from stress or maybe its the wind? I don't call out for him. I can't do it anymore and go inside and look for pet services online.

While looking for pet services I start to think its unfair on him to just leave him like that until someone can come and bury him. So I steel myself towards the task that must be done.

I put on my gloves and open the front door.

And lo and behold....

MEOW! he dashes through the front door.
Complete. No hobbling. No blood - just my beautiful lovely cat.

I break down. I'm confused. I feel the stress bubbling over. I'm overwhelming with joy and happiness. Tears of relief floods through me. HES OK! thankgod!

Then I start to wonder...? Was that noise I heard real? And whose cat was I about to bury?

There are no clues on the dead cats collar. The council is also unfortunately closed for the day.

I waste no time in feeding him... and drowning him in affection. (though strangely he is not interested in his favourite food... i suspect someone has been feeding him)

I even visit my husband at work to tell him the fantastic news.

And you know what he says to me? That I was in denial. I was denying myself hope. That it could or might be Ok.

Dont ever condemn yourself to that. Don't wallow in those feelings as tempting as it is when that is the major event in your life. Move on.

Have hope. Leave cat food out. Keep looking for him and if he hasn't come home in a month then I think its safe to say he has moved on.
Either moved on with his life or to death.
Either way the sooner you realise that whether you know or don't know you have to move on. The sooner you will feel better.

Moving on includes seeing a grief counsellor to help you work through your difficult time. Choosing to feel bad about what has happened will not change it. Its a horrible self perputating cycle. Choose not to let it take over your life. You have to move on by living your life.

I'm sorry this is TL;DR but... I hope this helps anyone.
I hope you find him. I really really hope you find him.

I doubt I will find him now...its been 6 weeks today...thanks for caring enough to tell your story...I try not to wallow in those devastating feelings but at times they appear and I reacted...I am sure in time those terrible feelings will fade too...its not been easy at all...But I continue with life for the most part..cry when I need to and even laugh when I need to as well...I am still very sad over the loss and not knowing what happened...life has to go on...I have to move on ...
I actually had the thought of going to speak to someone about this some professional counselor..but I can't even look at his pictures or mention his name without crying...I'm just hoping time is all I need...

Nancy