Yogi, TNRd feral is missing

I am very, very sad this morning. This is day five that Yogi, Magilla's dad , has been gone. He was TNRd last December and released back out and I have been caring for him since then. I see him EVERYDAY for the last five months at both feedings, am. and pm. The only time he was gone for a day and a half was during that terrible blizzard. Lately, I have been able to get within four feet of him and would sit out in the grass with him for quite awhile. I was hoping over the summer to become closer with him and see if he would be interested in becoming socialized.

He is gone. And I fear the worst and am just so sad about it. I see his pal, Boo Boo, each day. Those two were my regulars that just live outside and I would see them on and off all day long. I try to ask Boo where Yogi is and of course he doesn't know how to tell me. I know he knows, because those two were never separated. Even during the blizzard, they both showed up walking together side by side from wherever they had been hunkering down.

I honestly can say, I worry more about the outside feral's than my inside cats. I don't have control over the feral's safety and it just breaks my heart. Yesterday, I looked all through the woods and under the deck of the abandoned house next door where they hang out. Nothing. I am feeling very pessimistic about the situation. He was neutered and would not have any reason to roam, which he never did. He was always outside most of the day. I get filled with anxiety when I think that he is suffering somewhere and I can't help him. Please send prayers my way for Yogi, I appreciate it.

That's alright. The vet wasn't sure on his age when he was TNRd. The kittens were about six months and the vet told me Yogi was about one or so . So he could have been a brother and was just a bit bigger or he was the dad. Spitting image of Magilla, just bigger. He was EXTREMELY wild and crazy when he was trapped, very, very angry, where as the kitten girls and Dixie (the mom) really didn't make much noise at all. So maybe he was a bit older then them. Still no sign of him this afternoon. I went searching again just worried that he could have been hit by a car, or became ill and can't move, or worse....... Thanks for the vibes.

Still no sign of him today . He truly was my friend and I his and I can't help but get very sad and heartsick thinking about something horrible happenning to him. He would have never left the yard or the neighbor's yard unless something made him. Thanks for the kind words.

I am sorry to hear that, Nance. Caring for ferals means so much to me but this is the part of it I cannot handle well. My heart is in it and when someone goes missing, they take a part of my heart with them. I wish I could do something but I am realistic about the situation and know that I have no control over their safety. They are on their own and that is the part that tears me up.

Thanks everyone for your prayers. No sign of Yogi and at this point, I don't expect it. It has been a week.

Yes, I did have only one of him sitting in the snow waiting for me in his usual spot but it is a bit blurry because it was snowing. I have gone to the "nice cat neighbors" to see if they have seen a long-haired black cat this week. Also, went to the houses next to ours on the next block and talked with a few people who were outside with their kids. Nothing. The hardest part of this, is the not knowing. Also, I have not seen Boo Boo, Yogi's buddy (brother) in two days now. I have seen Dixie in the evenings as usual though. I wonder if Boo went looking for Yogi.

Thanks for the support and words everyone

Robin, thanks for you kind words. This is the painful part of caring for these feral cats. I absolutely hate it and this is very hard to stomach, at least for me. If he never comes back, I will wonder about him for the rest of my life, that is how much he meant to me, he was always outside waiting for me, everyday, for many months. I was planning on re-trapping him this summer because I was getting closer and closer to him and would sit with him and he would stay and sit with me, about four feet apart. And we would just talk, cat talk..... I wanted to see if he would want to become more socialized and I would take him in and work with him and try to find him a home. Now, , I feel like I should have trapped him over the last two weeks and he would still be , well, you know. Sorry, I am just sad this morning and feeling guilty like I let him down, even though, I know intellectually, I did not and could not have foreseen his disappearance.

Thanks, Jenny. I will try, but don't feel it.... it just feels empty when I go outside now to feed.

Boo Boo is back this morning and was sitting on top of the feeding station. I, again, asked him where Yogi is... they were never separated and I think Boo went looking for him these last two days and has returned home to the territory. Those two never left the yard area much at all. I just feel that Yogi is gone on to the bridge. I am saying a prayer for him to out where we always sat. I am tearing up right now, I AM SO SORRY YOGI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I wish I could have saved you

Thanks and I would need a miracle at this point. I totally fear the worst has happened to poor sweet Yogi. This almost makes me wonder if I am cut out for this TNR stuff. Just bear with me, I am feeling lousy about it today and will be able to pull myself up and keep on doing what I believe in. But.... right now, the pain in my heart, is an unexpected feeling and don't know how to deal with this at the moment. I went looking for him again yesterday, in grubby clothes, crawling around and searched under that abandoned house's deck with a very powerful flashlight. It is a large deck and I was worried he was under there and if I could at least find his body, I could give him a proper burial. . He was not there, so that gave me some hope for a little while. Never knew how much he meant until he was gone......It just feels like a great loss to me.