I love you Callie, goodby

palikakitty

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I said goodby to my favorite cat Callie about two weeks ago. I couldn't even write about this until now. I didn't do the right thing and I will feel guilty forever. This is to all of you who wrestle with "is it time"--trust your gut, better a few days too soon than even one day too late.

Callie was 11 and always in good health. In March we noticed that her belly felt funny. My husband said "she's fine" and I let it go. Then I insisted he take her to the vet. She was eating and acting fine but her belly felt hard and flat. The vet took xrays and tests and said she had a mass and her blood cells were odd--too many immature red blood cells. He said she was presenting as though she had been poisoned. But there was no way she could have been poisoned--she never went outside and we have 8 cats so we never even think about mice, etc.! None of my cats go out. The vet said we needed to go to Purdue. I chose to take her to a facility in Downers Grove, IL that has every service you could think of. She was diagnosed with hemangiomasarcoma of the abdomen. The vet said she could do surgery for but that it would buy her only a little time. We decided against it--we didn't want to leave her there, scared and alone. We took her home and she continued to look and act fine. Then, she started to seem sick. She looked at me like "please, it's time". The whole family was against me--she's fine, they said, let her rest. Two days later she was fading, I sat with her for hours. I begged my family to let me take her in. That night I got up in the middle of the night to check on her, she was still alive but there was so much blood. Her tumor had opened up and soaked her bed. I sat with her until 7 a.m. when I took her to go to the bridge. I am sobbing as I write this in shame and in sadness. I honestly will never forgive myself for not standing up for her and taking her in sooner. We had 10 cats, I lost one to hypertrophic cardiomyopathy at age 5 and now Callie. All of my cats are well taken care of--my oldest is 15, the youngest is 11 (Callie's sister). Sorry for the long story but I wanted to share my sad story. Please don't yell at me for doing the wrong thing--I learned my lesson and so did my family, at Callie's expense. I love you Cal.
 

carolina

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I am so sorry for you loss sweetie...




Please, please don't think you did something wrong... You didn't... How could you ever imagine that would happen? All you wanted was one more day with her
You couldn't have known... You did everything you could... You took her to the best vets... gave her so much love... Please, please don't blame yourself... That was much unfortunate, brought up by a horrible disease, but you wouldn't never have known... She would never thought you done her wrong, I promise

 

cosabella

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Callie had a good life with you and she was loved. Don't wreck yourself with guilt. You were there with her till the end and that's more than most cats can hope for.

God bless, Callie.
 

jenwales

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I'm so sorry for your loss.


Please don't feel guilty. You did the best you could with the information you had. It's always hard when there are several people all offering input. Callie loved you and you loved her and she died knowing that.
 

farleyv

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Oh honey, please don't think you are at fault for anything. We all have those thoughts after our kitties pass.

I am so very sorry this happened. She is at peace now. In the warm, bright sun at the bridge with our little ones as well.

God bless your sweet Callie and you for loving her so very much.
 

darlili

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I'm so sorry for your loss - and try not to reproach yourself. It's hard when people are all offering input to know the right path. Callie knew you loved her, and you tried the best you could...that's all that matters.
 

catmom2wires

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I'm very sorry for your loss, and for the pain you are feeling now.

RIP, Callie.
 
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palikakitty

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Thank you for all of your comforting words. I miss her every day.
 

holliesmom

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I am so sorry. My Holly was 15 yrs old. When she was getting sicker and very close to passing away, our vet told me just to keep her home and keep her quiet and comfortable because she hated going to the doctor. She died on her blanket right in front of me. I don't think your sweet Callie knew what was happening, I think she was just glad to be home.
 

blueyedgirl5946

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I am so sorry for your loss. May your memories be sweet and bring you comfort.
 

feralvr

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AW hun
please don't blame yourself at all. We all do this to ourselves, it is human cat loving nature to beat ourselves up. I am sorry you lost you sweet Callie that way, but you did everything you could and what was right at the time!!!!!! And nothing less. We cannot predict something like that happenning. More


RIP sweet
Callie
 

emdm154

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Dear one, you gave Callie a good life, and loved her and cared for her to the very end. Please try not to regret or feel guilty for anything you did.

Remember your sweet girl, and love your other kitties who are still with you. You sound like a wonderful cat mom. Love to your whole household.
 
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