I said goodby to my favorite cat Callie about two weeks ago. I couldn't even write about this until now. I didn't do the right thing and I will feel guilty forever. This is to all of you who wrestle with "is it time"--trust your gut, better a few days too soon than even one day too late.
Callie was 11 and always in good health. In March we noticed that her belly felt funny. My husband said "she's fine" and I let it go. Then I insisted he take her to the vet. She was eating and acting fine but her belly felt hard and flat. The vet took xrays and tests and said she had a mass and her blood cells were odd--too many immature red blood cells. He said she was presenting as though she had been poisoned. But there was no way she could have been poisoned--she never went outside and we have 8 cats so we never even think about mice, etc.! None of my cats go out. The vet said we needed to go to Purdue. I chose to take her to a facility in Downers Grove, IL that has every service you could think of. She was diagnosed with hemangiomasarcoma of the abdomen. The vet said she could do surgery for but that it would buy her only a little time. We decided against it--we didn't want to leave her there, scared and alone. We took her home and she continued to look and act fine. Then, she started to seem sick. She looked at me like "please, it's time". The whole family was against me--she's fine, they said, let her rest. Two days later she was fading, I sat with her for hours. I begged my family to let me take her in. That night I got up in the middle of the night to check on her, she was still alive but there was so much blood. Her tumor had opened up and soaked her bed. I sat with her until 7 a.m. when I took her to go to the bridge. I am sobbing as I write this in shame and in sadness. I honestly will never forgive myself for not standing up for her and taking her in sooner. We had 10 cats, I lost one to hypertrophic cardiomyopathy at age 5 and now Callie. All of my cats are well taken care of--my oldest is 15, the youngest is 11 (Callie's sister). Sorry for the long story but I wanted to share my sad story. Please don't yell at me for doing the wrong thing--I learned my lesson and so did my family, at Callie's expense. I love you Cal.
Callie was 11 and always in good health. In March we noticed that her belly felt funny. My husband said "she's fine" and I let it go. Then I insisted he take her to the vet. She was eating and acting fine but her belly felt hard and flat. The vet took xrays and tests and said she had a mass and her blood cells were odd--too many immature red blood cells. He said she was presenting as though she had been poisoned. But there was no way she could have been poisoned--she never went outside and we have 8 cats so we never even think about mice, etc.! None of my cats go out. The vet said we needed to go to Purdue. I chose to take her to a facility in Downers Grove, IL that has every service you could think of. She was diagnosed with hemangiomasarcoma of the abdomen. The vet said she could do surgery for but that it would buy her only a little time. We decided against it--we didn't want to leave her there, scared and alone. We took her home and she continued to look and act fine. Then, she started to seem sick. She looked at me like "please, it's time". The whole family was against me--she's fine, they said, let her rest. Two days later she was fading, I sat with her for hours. I begged my family to let me take her in. That night I got up in the middle of the night to check on her, she was still alive but there was so much blood. Her tumor had opened up and soaked her bed. I sat with her until 7 a.m. when I took her to go to the bridge. I am sobbing as I write this in shame and in sadness. I honestly will never forgive myself for not standing up for her and taking her in sooner. We had 10 cats, I lost one to hypertrophic cardiomyopathy at age 5 and now Callie. All of my cats are well taken care of--my oldest is 15, the youngest is 11 (Callie's sister). Sorry for the long story but I wanted to share my sad story. Please don't yell at me for doing the wrong thing--I learned my lesson and so did my family, at Callie's expense. I love you Cal.
Callie
