Velvet Needs Vibes

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starryeyedtiger

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I haven't posted a ton lately since things have been a bit crazy, but I'm hoping you guys can spare a few vibes. (I'm not sure if this is the right place to post this, so feel free to move this to the appropriate forum if need be, mods). To summarize what has been going on: my beautiful kitty, Velvet has been the love of my life since I was 10-11yrs old and fell in love with her at our local Humane Society. I remember holding her in a pink blanket on the ride home with my mom and hearing the song "Black Velvet" come over the radio...I knew instantly that she had her name.
She has been involved in my day to day life since I was a little girl and I can't imagine my world without her sweet little self running around. She is THE cat that started everything for me - my love of cats, fostering, and working with animals. She has been the one that has inspired me every step along the way and she has the hugest spot in my heart.
Not only has Velvet continually welcomed me into her heart and greeted me every single day with a jump in my arms and a kiss, she has also been the most amazing cat around my other animals and has no doubt been an wonderful companion and "teacher" for all of them, even the dogs! She has helped me socialize countless foster kittens/pups that stood much better chances of finding amazing homes if they were animal friendly. She has shown love and affection to everyone that comes into my home (human and animals) and is always the first of my furbabies to greet me at the door when I come home. This girl has my heart!


Velvet needs your vibes though. My sweet girl has been quite ill for the past year and a half with CRF and several other issues. I previously worked as a vet tech for a while and have fostered numerous CRF/hospice kitties, so I have been able to maintain her her comfort and quality of life with fluids, medications, supplements, and things of that nature. Our vets have been wonderful as far as visits/tests go and have been very supportive all the way along our journey as well, so that definitely helps. Unfortunately, the past year or so, she has just continued to decline as far as her health goes and she is now in complete kidney failure according to our vets.
( She is no longer grooming herself anymore, drinking water non-stop, suffers from incotinence and weakness, and experiences severe weight loss despite eating all of the time (just to name a few things)). Even though she has been declining in health for a while now, I thought she still had some spunk and life left to her and just made a vow to let her continue on until I knew it was time to help my beautiful girl end her suffering. To be honest, I've selfishly prayed several times that she would just pass on peacefully in her sleep when it was her time so that I would not be faced with another painful decision; I know I can't allow her to suffer though if she worsens. While I'm not prepared myself yet to make that decision and say goodbye, I know it needs to happen soon so she does not continue to suffer and waste away. (My mom, sister, and friends that visit me often have also noticed her declining health and have also suggested she might be nearing the end of her disease). I know this is a sad post, I honestly don't mean it to be though; Velvet has been one of the most amazing blessings in my life and I absolutely want to celebrate and honor all of the joy she brings to me and others. I may have rescued her from the shelter when she was a tiny kitten, but this amazing cat has continued to "rescue" me over and over again. She is such a bright joy in my life and I am SOO lucky to have her.


If you guys don't mind, please spare a few vibes for us that Velvet's golden days are as pain-free as possible and she lets me know when it's time. I'm heartbroken over this and having a very difficult time right now even fathoming losing my gorgeous girl to this terrible disease. It's hard to remember my life before she entered it; she was there for my childhood, my teenage years and all of my adult years so far. She has been beside me through every single up and down. If an animal could be my "soul mate" - Velvet is just that to me.
Velvet is 15 right now and she will turn 16 years old in November. Please pray that her golden days are happy and as pain-free as possible. I know my sweet girl's time is likely limited due to the progressing CRF ,etc so I'm just trying to take a lot of pictures and enjoy each day and each sweet moment with her.
 

natalie_ca

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Originally Posted by StarryEyedTiGeR

Unfortunately, the past year or so, she has just continued to decline as far as her health goes and she is now in complete kidney failure according to our vets.
( She is no longer grooming herself anymore, drinking water non-stop, suffers from incotinence and weakness, and experiences severe weight loss despite eating all of the time (just to name a few things)).
Sweetie, I'm so sorry to hear this. Velvet sounds like a wonderful kitty and a special friend to you. It's hard when someone we love, even if it is "just" a pet, gets sick. Our instinct as humans is to hang on tightly for as long as we can. We do it for selfish reasons: For ourselves. And rightly so. Death and loss hurts! A lot! And if we can delay that pain, why wouldn't we? But sometimes we just have to step out of our comfort zone and really look at the situation objectively.

Life should be more about quality, rather than quantity, and that goes for all living things. You said that Velvet is weak, she no longer grooms, she is constantly thirsty and is losing weight etc. It seems to me that you already have your answer.

As you know I let Chynna go last year. It was such a hard thing for me to do. But I had promised her that I wouldn't let her suffer and that I would allow her to keep her kitty dignity. She was 18 years old. Weak. Problems with hyperthyroid, hypertension and CRF. She peed lots and she drank lots, and she was wasting away to skin and bone. However, she did still have some "spunk" left. And that's why I chose to let her go when I did. I wanted to remember her like that. I didn't want her last memories, or mine, of her being sick.

I'm sitting here crying while I write this, because thinking about what you are facing, has opened up wounds for me. I still miss Chynna so very much! And while there are days where I don't think about her, there are days where my heart aches and I weep. But I know in my heart that I did the right thing for both her and I.

Sending you lots of love and vibes
 

farleyv

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You wrote so beautifully about sweet Velvet. She has lacked nothing in her very long life. Abundant love. How wonderful she found you.

I will keep you two in my prayers. We have all been in your shoes, many times over. You are in good company.

Great love brings great pain along with it. Such a high price.

God bless you and your little girl, Velvet. I hope you come to the place where the final kindness is the greatest gift you can give her.

God bless.
 

mrsgreenjeens

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that Velvet turns a corner and starts to feel better. I'm walking in the same shoes you are at the moment with my own CRF kitty, Sven. He'll be 16 this summer, and just the other day I told him that I would let him go when he told me he was ready. I really expect him to tell me any day, but then he'll pull a switcharoo on me and start acting like his old self for awile, start bullying the others around, watch the birds outside, etc. It's just so darned hard to know when it's time.

My thoughts and prayers are with both of you.
 

carolpetunia

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Everything you told us about Velvet rings so true. I wish she could live as long as you will. But since she can't... I think you're right to want her last memories, and yours, to be of peace and comfort. Maybe you should let her go while she can still look into your eyes and know that you love her.
 

kailie

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Oh sweetie, I am so incredibly sorry that you and Velvet are going through this right now...
Lots of vibes are coming from me...
 

otto

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( She is no longer grooming herself anymore, drinking water non-stop, suffers from incotinence and weakness, and experiences severe weight loss despite eating all of the time (just to name a few things)).
Please look deep into your heart to question if you are keeping her alive for yourself. Look deep into HER heart, and eyes, and ask her if she has had enough. What you describe above does not sound like a happy life.

Your story of you and Velvet is very beautiful and you have taken such wonderful care of her all her life. But don't make the mistake of waiting too long, as it will haunt you. She should get the same loving consideration from you that she has always had at this difficult time. I truly believe in "too soon is better than too late". Of course you know her best, and only you can make this decision for her, but I don't think you will be letting your beloved Velvet go too soon.

Velvet


PS Having said all that.....has Velvet been evaluated for hyperthyroid?
 

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You wrote so beautifully about your little girl. I'll keep your baby in my thoughts and send lots of that she remains comfortable and that her passing, when it comes, will be peaceful. For both of you.


When Banshee was still alive; it was about a week before she passed, I was sitting on the top step in the living room watching her. She came over to me and I held her for awhile. I told her that I would do whatever she wanted to keep her alive. But that it would be OK if she decided that it was time for her to leave. That I loved her and cherished her and that she had to know that she was forever and ever my baby. She sat in my lap and she looked right into my eyes. And then she walked away. But before she walked very far, she turned around and looked right at me again. And I knew. I knew that it wouldn't be long.

My heart goes out to you. Velvet is a special kitty.
 

feralvr

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What a beautiful story about your life with Velvet. Brought tears to my eyes and I am truly so very sorry she is failing now. Please know that we are all sending many, many vibes that she will have a peaceful passing and many vibes to you as you try to find a way to deal with this. This is the part of owning our dear darlings that I dread the most of all.
:vib es:
 

booktigger

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I am so sorry to read this. I wondered if her thyroid levels had been checked. I know how truly hard this decision is but from your description her quality of life isn't good and that is the most important thing at this stage in their life - we are never ready to say goodbye but we have to be strong and put our feelings aside.

My thoughts are with you at this difficult time x
 
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starryeyedtiger

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Thank you everyone for such kindness and support right now
I really appreciate it and so does little Velvet. I'm just trying to enjoy the time I have with her and cherish each moment. I honestly can't bring myself to make that decision right now and I don't feel in my heart that it's today, but I know soon enough it will be.


(For those of you who have asked, her thyroid levels have been checked also and they do not look good).
 
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starryeyedtiger

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Originally Posted by Winchester

More
for you and Velvet. You're both in my thoughts.
Thank you. I appreciate that soo much
It's been a "good day" so far thankfully. (I'm just making sure that I enjoy each extra day I'm given with my beautiful girl. I don't feel completly sure that it's "time" yet, but I know it will be approaching soon and I'm just going to enjoy her as long as I can.)

Velvet was pretty cooperative this morning and I was able to groom her a bit. I got her with the waterless shampoo and brushed her out really well before I have her the IV fluids this morning. I was able to pull out a lot of dead fur so I'm hoping she feels a little bit more comfortable. I'm going to get her nails later and trim those down a bit- she's soo good about getting her nails done, she just sits in my lap and holds her little paws out; she's done that since she was a little kitten
. (Even though she is a DSH, she still gets mats very easily because she no longer grooms herself, so I try to really stay on top of things as far as grooming her goes).

I'm going to run her up to the local pet store by my apartment this week to get a weight on her to see if she's lost/gained any weight. It feels like she may have lost a bit more from last week but since I can't tell for certain, it's just easier for me to take her up there and weigh her on a scale I trust. She is still eating like a little piggy, so that's at least a bright note (thankfully no changes with her bowels/eating habits so far since I switched her onto a food she will eat well). There's been no improvement in her kidney issues though- still drinking non-stop and urinating non-stop/incontinence issues. Just for an example: I keep two large raised dog bowls full of water in the kitchen for the pups and medium bowl in the guest room with water for the cats. If I don't watch her carefully, she will try and drink all of it! She's even tries to drink the water out of the glass dish with my floating candles in it (that would almost be a little funny if the situation wasn't soo sad)! I try to limit her to using one bowl and I measure how much water I put in it/how much is left at the end of the day. She's a bit sneaky though, so that makes things difficult when it comes to monitoring her water intake aside from IV fluids. At this point, the vets are just telling me to keep her comfortable and happy and let her have what she wants within reason.
 

farleyv

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Oh, just continue loving on her as much as you are.


for you. It is so hard, but when you think back on this time, you will know you let her know how much you loved her.

Velvet and you are in my prayers.
 

otto

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Continued vibes for Velvet that these Golden Days run into Golden Weeks and Golden Months as she stays comfortable and you enjoy your time together.

Velvet
 
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