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MY cat LOVES my husband...help!

post #1 of 23
3/30/11 at 6:17pm
Thread Starter 
I've had my cat for a little over a year, rescued him from a shelter, he's 2 years old. In the beginning, (first 7 months) he absolutely loved me cuddled with me all the time I was the best thing in the world. My husband was not a cat person in the beginning so the cat had to really try and win him over and now he does like the cat and the cat LOVES him. He could care less about me he is always bugging him, following him, wants to sit on him, etc. I feed him dry food always available and clean his litter box. Only time he pays attention to me is before bed and when I'm getting ready in the morning for work. but its still nothing like the attention he gives my husband.

so any advice/suggestions would be awesome

ps. my husband is starting to get VERY angry from this behavior
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post #2 of 23
3/31/11 at 6:14am
This happened to my Mom. Dad knew that if he married Mom he's not only get a wife, but also a daughter (sis) and a cat. After moving into their house Mom got a kitten and soon it became Dad's cat. It followed him, sat on his workbench as he worked, and rode on his shoulder as he worked in the yard.

Mom just put up with it, happy that Dad accepted her and her cat.
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post #3 of 23
3/31/11 at 6:55am
Quote:
Originally posted by jkish7

I feed him and do his cat box.
How do you feed him? Do you just put the food out, or do you actually serve him his meals when he is around watching you, waiting to be fed?

And, by the way, what kind of diet is he eating? Dry that's always available, or some or all canned that you serve at least twice a day?
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post #4 of 23
3/31/11 at 11:23am
Print out a picture of your husband's portrait, and make a mask from it, put on some of his old clothes, and then run at the cat waving your arms and making weird noises.

Then rush back to the bathroom, transform back into yourself, and you can be the one to console your now traumatized kitty from the "evil man".

Voila.

JK, but sometimes I've noticed kitties just like scents. Every time I wash with Dove Men Deep clean body/face bar, my cats attack me wanting to lick, schmoozle, and bite my hand/arm with behavior similar to when I've just cleaned using a bleach product. *shrugs* May be coincidence, but it also seems that the busier I am and the more I try to ignore one of my cats, the more they want to snuggle.
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post #5 of 23
3/31/11 at 12:36pm
Thread Starter 
I really hate it though. He's an awesome cat and doesn't share any of the love with me. The only thing I think that is different is that I work now compared to when I first got him and was doing online classes, so I was home all day. the other thing is I know I stink from my job like grease and oil. but even on the weekends he's the same.
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post #6 of 23
3/31/11 at 12:38pm
Thread Starter 
Dry food all the time. He's a very in shape and playful cat so far so that's how I've been doing it. If he gets fat and sassy some day I'll change that. He always rolls around and acts cute when I fill his food and clean the box.
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post #7 of 23
3/31/11 at 12:39pm
Thread Starter 
Like I was saying I think the only thing may be what I smell like after work, but even on the weekends he does the same thing
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post #8 of 23
3/31/11 at 1:17pm
It's the same way with me and my fiancee. She wanted a cat so I let her get our kitten. I am more of a dog person. So she feeds the kitten and cleans the litter box, etc. Funny enough, I am the one that the cat is always wanting. This drives my fiancee crazy but she is also happy that I accept the cat now.
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post #9 of 23
3/31/11 at 1:36pm
Quote:
Originally posted jkish7
He always rolls around and acts cute when I fill his food and clean the box.
Okay, so you're saying he knows, it's very clear to him that the food is coming from you?

I asked because I was thinking of a behavior treatment method that can help bring cats and people closer and needed to know what the situation was at your house. The question wasn't about diet from the nutritional point.

Just one more question. Do you ever play with him?
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post #10 of 23
3/31/11 at 1:44pm
Get a tasty fish flavor wet and feed him half a can a day, that can make you his best friend EVAR heh! Its good for cats to get some wet in their diet anyway.

Also, my cats harass me to play da bird with them, awesome interactive toy.
http://www.youtube.com/user/WesleyBu.../4/qGQqXDId8es

Those two are the equivalent of cat crack, and a kitty knows who his dealer is.
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post #11 of 23
3/31/11 at 3:00pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Violet View Post
Okay, so you're saying he knows, it's very clear to him that the food is coming from you?

I asked because I was thinking of a behavior treatment method that can help bring cats and people closer and needed to know what the situation was at your house. The question wasn't about diet from the nutritional point.

Just one more question. Do you ever play with him?


not as much as I should I leave the house at 5:30 am and then get home anywhere from 3-6 and am tired.

Just played with him for like 20 mins, gave him some treats, and brushed him.... and is he laying with me now... no in his chair cuz he can't sit with Adam right now
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post #12 of 23
3/31/11 at 3:03pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ducman69 View Post
Get a tasty fish flavor wet and feed him half a can a day, that can make you his best friend EVAR heh! Its good for cats to get some wet in their diet anyway.

Also, my cats harass me to play da bird with them, awesome interactive toy.
http://www.youtube.com/user/WesleyBu.../4/qGQqXDId8es

Those two are the equivalent of cat crack, and a kitty knows who his dealer is.
I actually was just playing with one of those with him, and his ball. also brushed him and gave him a couple treats....and still not laying with me...

I don't know about doing the wet food thing, thats more money, more of a schedule thing, and we also have a pig of a dog that would probably shoo him away and eat it
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post #13 of 23
3/31/11 at 3:04pm
I'm not joking here... pretend you don't care. Cats are notorious contrarians. Whenever we want attention from ours, we ignore them, and within a day or two, they are ALL over us.

Give him a stinky yummy wet food twice a day - before you leave and when you come home (and at the same time on the weekends). For now, just call him and put it down and go. Ignore him for a few days, and see what happens.
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post #14 of 23
3/31/11 at 3:05pm
I was posting when you did. The wonderful thing about cats is that they're 3D. Do you have a dresser or table - or bathroom counter - where you can feed him wet food?

And it doesn't have to be a lot of it. You can store it in the fridge and nuke his portion. It can even be just a bit, like a treat.
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post #15 of 23
3/31/11 at 5:16pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by LDG View Post
I'm not joking here... pretend you don't care. Cats are notorious contrarians. Whenever we want attention from ours, we ignore them, and within a day or two, they are ALL over us.

Give him a stinky yummy wet food twice a day - before you leave and when you come home (and at the same time on the weekends). For now, just call him and put it down and go. Ignore him for a few days, and see what happens.
It really sucks my husband is starting to get VERY angry that the cat just will not leave him alone
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post #16 of 23
3/31/11 at 5:46pm
Tell your husband to smother your cat with tons of affection and love to the point kitty is annoyed with him. We do that with our needy cat and it helps.

You should get some special stinky wet food and start feeding him that. Give him treats, spend a lot of time playing with him. Every time you come home from work give him a treat so he associates your "work" smell with something good.
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post #17 of 23
3/31/11 at 5:50pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by lauren_miller View Post
Tell your husband to smother your cat with tons of affection and love to the point kitty is annoyed with him. We do that with our needy cat and it helps.

You should get some special stinky wet food and start feeding him that. Give him treats, spend a lot of time playing with him. Every time you come home from work give him a treat so he associates your "work" smell with something good.
I think i'll give the wet food a try just as a treat... I don't know if he'd go for the smothering with attention he's too busy giving it to the dog... I HATE the work smell thing, I'm a secretary at a marina and smell like I worked on a motor all day when I get home...
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post #18 of 23
3/31/11 at 6:22pm
Hello,
I just saw your post on a different forum where I just lurk, so I couldn't respond.

I would follow the advice of others: feed him wet food & ignore him.

I am surprised your cat isn't picking up on your husbands anger and staying away - cats are usually pretty intuitive with those sorts of things.

Let us know how it turns out.
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post #19 of 23
4/2/11 at 10:37am
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by herekittykitty8 View Post
Hello,
I just saw your post on a different forum where I just lurk, so I couldn't respond.

I would follow the advice of others: feed him wet food & ignore him.

I am surprised your cat isn't picking up on your husbands anger and staying away - cats are usually pretty intuitive with those sorts of things.

Let us know how it turns out.

Well it doesn't stop the cat from coming around... he got some spankings last night for waking him up in the middle of the night trying to get in our closets or messing around under the bed... well I didn't hear that I'll I woke up to was d*** cat, and he got spankings
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post #20 of 23
4/2/11 at 11:03am
Quote:
Originally Posted by jkish7 View Post
Well it doesn't stop the cat from coming around... he got some spankings last night for waking him up in the middle of the night trying to get in our closets or messing around under the bed... well I didn't hear that I'll I woke up to was d*** cat, and he got spankings
What do you mean when you say spankings? Cats don't understand negative reinforcement like dogs, and your husband should not punish the cat like it is a dog or he will get bitten or clawed one day and from the description of his annoyance, he would want the cat to go if that happened. Tell him to just close the cat out of the room next time
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post #21 of 23
4/2/11 at 11:13am
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by rad65 View Post
What do you mean when you say spankings? Cats don't understand negative reinforcement like dogs, and your husband should not punish the cat like it is a dog or he will get bitten or clawed one day and from the description of his annoyance, he would want the cat to go if that happened. Tell him to just close the cat out of the room next time
Oh I already know that cats don't understand punishment but you can't tell him that... its always his choice to let the dog and cat be in the bedroom at night its not up to me... he totally caters to the dog and i don't have really any say on my cat...
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post #22 of 23
4/2/11 at 11:15am
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by jkish7 View Post
I've had my cat for a little over a year, rescued him from a shelter, he's 2 years old. In the beginning, (first 7 months) he absolutely loved me cuddled with me all the time I was the best thing in the world. My husband was not a cat person in the beginning so the cat had to really try and win him over and now he does like the cat and the cat LOVES him. He could care less about me he is always bugging him, following him, wants to sit on him, etc. I feed him dry food always available and clean his litter box. Only time he pays attention to me is before bed and when I'm getting ready in the morning for work. but its still nothing like the attention he gives my husband.

so any advice/suggestions would be awesome

ps. my husband is starting to get VERY angry from this behavior
Replies to everyone's posts
I wanted to add a few tidbits that could be part of the problem.
1. when I first got him I was home all day (first 8 months)
2. Adam didn't like him at all then, now I know he does he plays with him alot.
3. then I got 2 jobs so I'm not home from 5:30-sometime in the afternoon each day. (Adam has always had pretty much the same schedule)
4. my second job is working at a marina so I come home stinking like oil and grease, even though I don't even touch the stuff, since I'm a secretary
5. we have a dog that thinks I am the favorite or Alpha cuz I don't put up with anything and she is the one I really ignore. I'd rather get love from MY cat, the dog is HIS (but I am totally not a dog person, way too much work, stress, and just plain old ticks me off almost every day, cats take care of themselves)

There is totally no aggression with my cat he's a total lover, he just could care less to waste his time on me would rather be with Adam, he won't even play with me cuz he must not want to bite or scratch mom....

I had so many thoughts I've been thinking of adding but forgot now...
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post #23 of 23
4/7/11 at 10:51pm
Kinda sounds like our cats.

I'm the one who feeds (visibly) cleans litterbox, plays, brings home the fun stuff, gives wet food and treats and is home more often for the moment (slow work season)

Who do ALL the pets love?

The BF.
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