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Please, Vibes for DH's Step-Dad

post #1 of 24
3/30/11 at 2:46pm
Thread Starter 
Dave's step-Dad, Quentin, is 88 and has had congestive heart failure for years. My MIL called the ambulance last night when he was unresponsive. He has pneumonia, a UTI, and his kidneys are shutting down. We were at the hospital most of today, and things don't look good; his bp is down to 70/48. When he was admitted yesterday, the dr. didn't think he'd make it thru the night. Poor Quentin is in pain, but giving him pain meds will drop his bp even more. I talked to the dr. and nurse in charge of his case and they say it isn't a matter of "if he recovers", it's a matter of "when the end will come". MIL and Quentin's son are deciding whether to go ahead with the pain meds, which will hasten the inevitable, or wait and see. This is a decision I would not want to make, ever.

I would appreciate it so much if you wonderful people could send some vibes to Dave's family. I'm praying for him to pass peacefully; I think that's all we can hope for at this point.
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post #2 of 24
3/30/11 at 2:48pm
for all the family and your fil
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post #3 of 24
3/30/11 at 5:04pm
Oh no! Many to Quentin - and the whole family!
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post #4 of 24
3/30/11 at 5:36pm
I'm so sorry that you and your family are going through this.
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post #5 of 24
3/30/11 at 6:14pm
what a bad new...
Quentin will going to be in my night prayers!...

.................
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post #6 of 24
3/30/11 at 6:24pm
Oh hun, sorry to hear this news. Lots of prayers for Quentin and the family. End of life is so very difficult on the family. Many to you and your family.
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post #7 of 24
3/30/11 at 8:24pm
Thread Starter 
Thanks, everyone. Dave went back to the hospital to check on Quentin; his son was there and apparently he and my MIL have decided to wait just a while longer before they ok the pain meds. Dave thinks Quentin was a bit more responsive tonight, but he's trying to undo all the tubing (he managed to pull out the iv that was giving him antibiotics), and if he could manage it, the catheter would be history as well.
The waiting is so hard; I jump everytime the phone rings. I know it sounds awful, but I think we're all hoping he will just slip away in his sleep. I guess you can't really ask for more than that.
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post #8 of 24
3/30/11 at 11:03pm
......................
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post #9 of 24
3/31/11 at 1:29am
May he have a peaceful passing...
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post #10 of 24
3/31/11 at 4:56am
Thinking of you and your family sweetheart...
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post #11 of 24
3/31/11 at 4:56am
Sending lots of that he passes in peace and with no pain. It's always hard, even when you're expecting it.
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post #12 of 24
3/31/11 at 7:38am
More for you this morning. Very difficult and emotional time for you all. So sorry.... Hugs too
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post #13 of 24
3/31/11 at 10:41am
Thread Starter 
I just got home from the hospital, and I'm stunned. Quentin's kidneys are working and his bp is up to 102/78. He was half sitting up in bed, trying to talk, seemed very aware of what's going on around him. The nurse had taken the oxygen mask off for a few minutes this morning just to give him a break from it; she's got a call in to the dr. to see if they can switch him to a nose piece instead.
Before I left, Quentin asked me if I'd bring him a sandwich; hard to understand behind that face mask, but that's what it was.
I don't know what to think; we were discussing funeral arrangements yesterday! I know this could be the "Big Rally" before the final downward spiral, so I'm trying not to get my hopes up.

Whatever vibes and prayers you all are sending---they seem to be working. Please keep them coming.
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post #14 of 24
3/31/11 at 12:18pm
Oh that is WONDERFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

for all, and continued !!!!!!!!

So... did he have a sandwich?
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post #15 of 24
3/31/11 at 3:14pm
Thread Starter 
No sandwich yet But as soon as he feels up to if ( and Lord, I hope he feels up to it one of these days! ) he will get his sandwich. I believe he wants an egg McMuffin (ick); I might even shell out the extra dollar for coffee
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post #16 of 24
3/31/11 at 3:23pm
That's great! I'm glad to read that he's doing better
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post #17 of 24
4/4/11 at 6:29am
Thread Starter 
Gonna give this a bump to let everyone know how Quentin's doing:
He seriously looks pitiful; he's on a soft diet, which some "honey thickening agent" added to everything liquid that he drinks. He isn't able to feed himself, is still hooked to a catheter and oxygen, lots of congestion in his right lung. I don't think he'll ever be able to live at home again (that's if he makes it out of the hospital at all; the dr. tells us he's not out of the woods by a long shot). I think my MIL is really worried about him possibly coming home; she's 82 and just doesn't have the ability to take care of him.

At this point, it seems to be a watch and wait scenario. I appreciate all the prayers and vibes coming his way. Thanks, everyone!
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post #18 of 24
4/4/11 at 6:41am
Of course, hun, more vibes for Quentin. Hope you are doing alright. Very emotional time for you and your family. .
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post #19 of 24
4/5/11 at 10:29am
Thread Starter 
Another update: the dr. ordered a ct scan yesterday and just told my MIL the results. It appears that Quentin had a stroke, probably just before he was brought to the ER. For the life of me, I don't know why they didn't do a scan when he was brought in. My MIL had talked to Dave about how bad Quentin was doing last Monday (he went to the ER last Tuesday). As soon as Dave told me the symptoms I said, "Sounds like he's had a small stroke."

I was at the hospital this morning. Quentin is aware of what's going on, he can move both of his arms and has a good grip in both hands. The poor man is 90% deaf, and doesn't answer the questions the nurses ask because he doesn't understand what they've said. When I repeat the questions in his good ear, he gives the appropriate answer. The hospital has told my MIL that he will be transferred to a nursing home soon. I worked in a nursing home and I hate the thought of him being in one. We were always told that the hospital sends patients to the nursing homes to die so that it doesn't affect their records.

Hopefully, Quentin will just be there for rehab and he'll get to come home eventually. Realistically, I doubt he'll ever make it home again. Whichever the case may be, I think the prayers and vibes have been working, and I want to thank you all.
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post #20 of 24
4/5/11 at 4:20pm
I hope he is in the nursing home just until he feels better, and can go home again
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post #21 of 24
4/5/11 at 4:42pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by My4LLMA View Post
I hope he is in the nursing home just until he feels better, and can go home again


many more
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post #22 of 24
4/5/11 at 5:08pm


We're going through something similar with my Dad, though he recovered from his pneumonia and can eat on his own now. My mom and dad already lived in a retirement community, but he went from the hospital to the "Skilled Nursing" section and won't be going home again. Turns out he had a stroke too, and he needs a wheelchair to get around and can't go to the bathroom himself... doesn't remember what the call button is or is for...

I do hope he'll just need rehab and can then go home!
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post #23 of 24
4/5/11 at 5:55pm
Thread Starter 
Laurie, it sounds as if your Dad and Quentin are in the same boat.
for your Dad.
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post #24 of 24
4/6/11 at 3:50am
Quentin and your family are in my thoughts....it's so hard watching our parents (or loved ones) getting old. I hope he gets a miracle and can go home soon

:vi bes:
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