Would you feel slighted

Okay I have two friends who I used to spend alot of time with, but I was always the one going to see them, one of them has been out to my house three times in the 4-5 years that I have known her and the other has been here once but she was driving me home and she has never gotten out of her car she refused to. I was also the one who always initiated contact and although I was always welcome in the homes, the last time I stopped at my friend Jennifer's place she seemed almost upset that I had and just said she was sleeping, and the other friend she has asked several times for me to come over but I am driving dad's car so it is hard for me to do so. I feel like the friendships with these two people may be a bit onesided and I am wondering if you would feel the same way?

Also they both seem to be leary of meeting my family but I have met almost all of their families, well one of them is dating the other one's son and they are all kind of bunched together. When I first became friends with Jennifer we seemed to hang out more but now granted she works, has school, and two kids but she seems reluctant to even return my texts and the other one Mary doesn't have a phone anymore as far as I know so I cannot call her and the last few times I did she seemed to rush me off of the phone. Maybe I am just overreacting?

I am sorry you are feeling slighted.

Originally Posted by Tavia'smom

I was always welcome in the homes, the last time I stopped at my friend Jennifer's place she seemed almost upset that I had and just said she was sleeping

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Did you give any advanced notice?

I am a person who rarely makes initial contact with friends. I hate talking on the phone, and I'm sure my friends feel like I'm rushing THEM off the phone when we're talking. I prefer e-mail to make plans, but it's more common for one of my friends to e-mail ME and ask me to meet for lunch. It's not that I don't WANT to see my friends, it's just how I'm wired, I guess... I think some people are just more apt to make that initial contact.

I owned a condo for over 8 years and I had exactly 3 nights where I invited people over, made dinner, etc. I'm just not a person who hosts parties, has people over, etc. I guess what I'm saying is that if these relationships are important to you, don't be bothered if you have to make contact. I do sometimes feel that my friendships are one-sided (not on MY side...) but I love my friends. It's just not something I think about, to ask people to have lunch, see a movie, what have you. It may not be fair for me to rely on my friends to ask ME to get together, but if it were left up to me, we'd probably never see one another...

It sounds to me like you just caught them at a wrong time.

Why don't you talk to your friend and see if there is a problem? Sometimes it's the best way to deal with a situation.

I have some friends where I am the one doing the calling and asking if they want to hang out but then I have others that call me. I LOVE people and love get togethers, etc but it drives me CRAZY when someone stops in unexpected, I like to feel prepared for visitors and I also love the phone but sometimes I hate it and will do anything not to talk on it.

I think if these people are important to you then it's worth it, as for meeting family, etc.....that can be very awkward for some people, it's funny because I hate meeting new people but once I meet them I usually love them to bits, I guess it's because I don't like change and figure I've got enough people in my life, I don't need to meet anyone else....

I love having people over and doing stuff with friends, but HATE when people just show up... The Beau and I tend to keep the house mostly clean, but I have a habit of not always being dressed for guest (my of the time when I am home I am in pjs or very short shorts and a tank with no bra...) and there tends to be stuff on the table and a lot of the time dirty laundry either in the kitchen (where our W&D are) or in the bathroom. So I like to at least pick up a bit before any one shows up!
I always prefer to have people here rather than go there, because we own our home, we dont have to worry so much about neighbors, or family, and because we can kind of control peoples behavior more. Like if anyone starts drinking more than 3 beers at my house they put their keys in the bowl and stay! And we dont smoke and hate being around smoke and some of our friends do so being at their houses just kind of bother my allergies, and when they are here we are just outside more!
I wouldnt feel slighted but maybe talk to them about it and make sure nothing is wrong!

Now on the one friend no I did not call first, but that didn't bother me as much as when I would call or text or what have you she never answers hardly and I rarely get a return text from her and as for the other friend she has always said I am welcome in her house but the on time she and I made plans for her to come to a cook out at my house and the other friend was invited too I bought steaks and hamburgers and all kinds of stuff and neither of them showed up and they didn't call and one of them went to another cookout and the other went out to eat in a town over from me. and it honestly bothered me alot. But they are both the type of people that they don't really discuss what is going on with them. So I am not sure how to approach them.