socializing stray with another cat

First of all, welcome to TCS even though you're apparently not new to the site. Glad you decided to start posting!

And THANK YOU for taking in this kitty in need! I am sorry to hear about her kittens... but it's something we all have to face when dealing with feral cats/kittens.

Let me ask a couple of quick questions - how does your male (what's his name?) act around the guest bedroom door?

And she's been there since December, I understood that correctly?

I remembered a recent thread that you may find REALLY helpful! http://www.thecatsite.com/forums/sho...d.php?t=227497

For what it's worth, here's my basic thinking on cat introductions.

Cats are all about territory. So the purpose of cat introductions is not so much to make the cats like each other as it is to help your resident cat comfortably adjust to having an intruder in his/her territory.

That's the purpose of keeping them separated initially. Of course you always need to make sure new kitty is healthy - but the other point is to "carve out" territory for the newbie that is her territory, a place she feels safe.

You're there.

Next steps, as you already see, are scent swapping. While that is a great article, I think it's missing one component - the idea is not just to get them used to each other's scent, but to help them associate the scent with good things they love. So don't stop at swapping bedding. Rub each one all over with a couple of cloths (best if no strong scent of fabric softener). Put male kitty cloth under Daisy's food dish. Put a Daisy-scented cloth under male's food dish. Have play sessions with each - and put treats down on an opposite-scented kitty cloth at the end of the play session.

If they both like being brushed, take a brush you've been using on Daisy and let male sniff it and brush him with it... &etc.

Have you let him sniff her through the door? Start there. See what his reaction is. If nothing negative happens, you can take the next step... and that can be one of two things.

Either bring him into her room - but do NOT make the focus of his being there "meeting her." Make the focus a wand toy, a play session, or having a special treat (like chicken baby food or something - though treats you have in a pocket are easier to dish out quickly ). Or let him explore the room if he won't focus on the toy and he's just too curious about all the smells in there. But do try to get them focused on play, not each other. And totally use positive reinforcement for anything not negative! Also make sure to focus on your resident kitty - he gets played with first, he gets treats first, he gets praised for ignoring Daisy, or for just exploring, or for sniffing at her without hissing... whatever it is.

If he shows any signs of aggression, remove him, but just baby talk him and tell him you'll go at his pace.

This first meeting should only be 10 - 15 minutes.

The other way to go if there's two of you to manage this, is bring him into her room, and bring her into whatever the "main" room of your home is. The bedroom, the living room... whatever. Let him explore her space, let her explore his. Again - this should be a short thing at first.

After that... just play it by ear, and use your judgment. The thread I provided a link to has a lot of discussion of interaction, and what's normal and what isn't, and what body language to watch out for. There's also links to a couple of videos showing the interaction and analysis of it.

But the bottom line is... use positive reinforcement and praise. Focus on resident male - make him think having Daisy around is a total party for him. It means MORE love, and MORE treats, and MORE attention, and MORE of whatever it is he loves.

And during the initial meetings, don't make the focus the "meeting," make the focus something else. Eating treats, a game with a wand toy... don't make them feel any pressure when it comes to their interaction - redirect the focus, and allow them to make it about the space and what's going on in it (I hope that makes sense).

Welcome into the participation! And tx for helping this kitty (and the giving food to her kittens).


I think you must wait a couple of days with smell-swapping after the returning from the vet. I suspect the main thing with the vet is spaying? So wait till she is back into shape. For an ex-ferale it should take shorter than for an only indoors domestic.

Why the wait? Now she is still smelling fertile female. So no big point of intensive smell swapping.
Directly after return from the vet, she will smell vet. Ie completely strange. So no introduction, and no smell-swapping a couple of days...
After this period, though, you start on along the lines LDG sketched...

Yes, they will make it out at nights if they are allowed to roam free. Good if you are at house, if it goes entirely out of hand.

In you are not at home, better to separate them, before you are sure they are friends or at least - tolerate each other.

She will probably be submissive to him - adopted shy homeless usually are submissive to the residents. Also often eager to please themselves in.
So there are seldom real problems. But good you are prepared to watch out!
And of course, dont forget to pet and cuddle him verry much. So he doesnt have any reason to feel envy against her. Dont pet and cuddle her much while he is looking. Not in the beginning.
Avoid to bear her up while he is on the floor. (giving her a higher position threats his supremacy - he may get sour...)

Good luck!

she tests negative for FeLV and FIV. Although if she does have FIV, she can safely live with you and Winston, happy to provide information if it comes to that.

She's not being spayed today? She really ought to be spayed before introductions are made, even if Winston's already neutered (he is, right?). It will make her a little mellower, and her smells will be less... "provacative." And she definitely needs to be spayed before she has the run of the house. It would be difficult to keep her from door dashing while in heat!

Excellent!

But by the way Winston's been acting around her door, it seems things could go fairly smoothly.

Please do let us know her results! Sending more vibes her way.

OH SHOOT!!!! Yeah, you have to be so ultra fast with closing that door. Well, just keep feeding in the carrier and she will get over that very quickly. I had a feral barn cat that I fed in a carrier so he would get used to eating in there. On his vet days, I just shut the door and latched quickly, he was fine. Even when we returned and he was released back out, he always comfortably went back in to eat again. I eventually found a home he deserved. Don't worry, Daisy will go into the crate again.

Yes, please get her spayed before introductions and now you just have more time now to bond with her, get her to trust you more, and in the meantime your Winston will get more relaxed about her smells too. He definitely knows she is in that room. for your continued progress with Daisy

Oh poor Daisy and poor you!

It really is amazing how ... intuitive they can be about a vet visit! We have one cat where hubby and I have an agreement - absolutely NO discussion of the vet appointment of ANY KIND for two days before the appointment. We try not to even think about it! I schedule the appointment around a meal - so that when it's time to go, he's eating, and I can pick him up and put him in the carrier before he realizes what's happened.

We had to reschedule quite a few vet appointments for this guy before we started this routine.

If you keep feeding her in the crate until her appointment, just make sure that a few days before her appointment, you sit or stand or whatever near the crate - in the position you need to be in to close it quickly. That way your movement the day of won't be different.

I know exactly what you mean with the nerves. I recall the day I was to close and latch the crate door and I had to trap him that exact day for the transport to the vet for TNR otherwise it would be another week for the next appt. I was a nervous wreck. He would always leave his tail out so days before I got a bigger crate too so he would have to go farther in to eat and that tail would be in too. I would always sit by the crate when he was eating so I had access to the door on vet day. He just got used to my presence as he ate. It is hard not to feel anxious on vet days and I found if I just talked quietly while Coal would eat everyday then this helped me on vet day because I could tell myself to stay calm.

This is a great thread. It just has a happy feel to it. Rescue, love and patience. I had to laugh when I read the part where she keeps her back foot out of the crate. Cats are so smart~!!

I also use a large carrier OR large for a cat anyway. It is a couple feet long and at least a foot wide or slightly more so there is room.


I am anxious to know what happens next. Hang in there Daisy!!!

Are you feeding her kibble? Our Ming Loy does that. She grabs a mouthful and drops it on the floor, then eats them one by one.

You've got one smart kitty there, backing up to the entrance!

Maybe on the day she's to go to the vet, put a paper bowl with just a little bit of wet food, something stinky - maybe chicken babyfood - in it. Hopefully it'll be irresistable enough that she'll start to eat it, giving you enough time to close the door on her.

Don't worry, by the time you have to take her to the vet, she should be eating more comfortably in there and not backing out. Yes, making quite a mess I am sure at the moment... extending more for Daisy for Saturday and her trip to the vet

IMHO I would wait till you have the all clear and negatives with the tests before letting Winston in the room. Just be on the safe side, OK. Once she has been cleared of everything, that would be a great idea!!!! You can even do this soon, just put Daisy in her crate again and take her out of the room and let Winston in there for 15 minutes or so. Then put Daisy back in her room.. Every time you put Daisy in that crate and release her back into her room, you are building more trust. I know you might not think that, but it is true. Daisy will see you as someone to rely on and that you will always bring her back to her safe room

Just agreeing with Feralvr on holding off until you know Daisy's full medical profile.

And it's great to hear she's eating in there more comfortably! Hopefully things will go smoothly tomorrow!

That is worth celebrating!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm so sorry about her tooth, but the "good" news here is that it can be done at the same time as the spay, so that'll save stress on all of you.

Aw, I'm just all smiles. Thanks for updating, I couldn't wait to get on to TCS today to see how it went! (I figured if you hadn't posted, it would have meant you got her in the carrier. )

That's wonderful news!!

Daisy sure is a lucky kitty to have you taking such good care of her!

Wishing you, Daisy, Winston, and hubby lots of love and luck!!

AWWWW yes you should toast to this wonderful news. This is just the beginning of many joys to come your way with Daisy. Winston will soon have a great friend too. Enjoy your dinner out, you deserve it

She is beautiful!!!!

Looks like she's settling in just fine!!!!

Wishing you all lots of love and luck!!!

Oh she is a DOLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And she really looks comfortable!

OH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How pretty and she looks so calm and relaxed in the photo. Very pretty girl, just like a Daisy