dont talk about my cat like that!

my boyfriend has become very good friends recently with a kid he tattoos. his name is steve and he has a kitten that is a month older than jericho, his name is milo.
well steve comes over quite a bit, and jericho is NOT a fan of him for some reason. hes never mean to steve but jericho is a very active and spunky kitten and loves to play and can be a little aggressive at times. he is also quite the sneak attacker and any limb hanging off the furniture is fair game to him (i still have not figured out how to get him to stop this).

as you can see from my pics, jericho is very long, tall, and fit.
milo on the other hand is very short, fat, and docile..so i understand why steve isnt as used to such an active kitty.
BUT all steve does when he is over is talk about how milo would NEVVVER do that, milo would NEVVVER be mean, milo such a good cat, hes so chill and cool, hes soooo nice and sweet and so well behaved and jericho is just a pest that wont leave anyone alone.

now this really annoys me. jericho is my baby boy. and yes he is much more active than most cats im around but thats just how he is. our other friend chris who is VERY anti social and has a hard time being around people but works at the zoo and is a herpatologist and loves animals met jericho and said htat he acts more like a real lion than a normal house cat. in the way he communicates and plays and stalks everything (kinda made me proud haha).

we usually just joke it off when steve says those things and we respond with things like "oh well sorry milo isnt as advanced as jericho" or "well it must suck to have a boring kitty" but it really really bothers me. ive come so close to kicking him out of our home because i feel that it is very rude! jericho doesnt hurt steve, he just wants to play alllll the time! we dont have a ton of company and its usually only steve or jb that comes over and jericho LOVES jb, they are best buds. i wonder if jericho can sense that steve isnt a huge fan of him so he just messes with him as much as possible..lol at least thats waht i like to think hes doing.

has anyone ever had an experience like this? how did you handle it without causing drama or a riff in the friendship? i just dont know what to say to steve to make him stop and its driving me crazy because im sick of hearing about how amazing milo and and how jericho is such a horrible cat (because i know he is sweet as pie..but everything is on his terms and we respect that). so..any help!?

I have issues with my sister and my dad over Pixie as my sister is not an animal person she only likes them for a few minutes and like she got dad a puppy mostly to look like she was doing something and in her words because dad's dog is old and as a replacement for her. And my one of my oldest friends hates cats but has always been there for me otherwise and she knows better than messing with me where Pixie is concerned but its because she would not move one time when one of my cats was trying to get to a bird I had and because of that the bird died and we had a huge blowout over it she pretty much knows not to mess with me on my animals in particular my cats. I was dating a guy and he kept making snyde remarks about Pixie and calling her a fuzzball and it was a contributing factor to the end of our relationship.

It reminds me of parents comparing their children to other kids.
But I agree with you. Steve is being rude IMO. It's okay to talk about how great your cat is but it is not nice to put another cat down especially when the owner is your friend and you are a guest in the house.
Your Jericho is a sweet boy. I think he knows Steve does not like him and he is trying to make friends in his own way.
Right now, you are handling it pretty okay. Steve is only talking and he may not even realize he is being rude (or he is so dense he is not taking the hint in your responses to his comments). I am curious though why he keeps on going to your house if Jericho is such a "horrible" cat.
I would treat Steve the way I would a new cat - with patience

I've had people making comments like this, especially my ex boyfriend who had a cat that was 6 years old as opposed to Jake who was a kitten at the time, he kept going on and on about how I need to train Jake because he's misbehaved and a bad cat because he always jumps at humans as if he can catch and wrestle with them
I dunno if that's the best way to handle it, but what I did was say the opposite, that my cat is better behaved and his cat isn't as socialized and needs to be trained to communicate with humans more, and his cat doesn't love him enough to jump at him and wrestle

Just laugh and say "Cats, like people, all have different personalities. What a boring world it would be iif every living creature looked and acted the same!"

Or you can laugh and say "Yep! He's my A.D.D. kitty and I love him to bits!"

In either case, go and hug and smooch your adorable, playful kitty who obviously loves you so very much judging by the pictures of him in your profile!

Holland is afraid of everyone but me, and I am currently living with my mom, my sister, my BIL and their 3 kids. She will now at least be in the same room as them, but she won't approach them, and if they try to go to her, no matter how slowly and calmly they move (though I've told them over and over SHE has to approach THEM...) she will run away. So I have to hear all the time how "mean" she is, that she won't let them pet her. Honestly, I just let it roll off my back. I am secure enough in my relationship with Holland that I don't really care what other people think of her.

My mom saw something on Animal Planet at one point that convinced her that Holland was just not properly socialized as a kitten. She was 5 months old when I adopted her, so for all I know, that could be true, but what I know is that she hid from me for a mere few days after I brought her home, and she cuddles with me every night, she sleeps under the covers in my bed, she runs to me when she hears my voice. That's enough for me.

My problem is 99% of the people I am close to are dog people, so when Holland doesn't run to them and slobber all over them wanting to play fetch, they think she is "mean" or "antisocial". I just remind myself that I know her, and that she is my love bug. I agree that this guy constantly comparing Milo to Jericho is rude, and no doubt it is annoying. If you think it will seriously affect the friendship to let his comments slide, you should just tell him "I don't appreciate you talking about Jericho like that. Maybe we can agree to share positive cat stories, or find other topics to discuss." Easier said than done, I know. But if the friendship is worth it and this guy can't stop bad-mouthing Jericho, I'd say grin and bear it. I mean, I can't cut off my mom or siblings because of how they feel about my cat, and they are annoying at times, but when Holland is curled up on my lap snoring, it doesn't seem like such a big deal.

Just my $0.02.

Originally Posted by yayi

It reminds me of parents comparing their children to other kids.

But I agree with you. Steve is being rude IMO. It's okay to talk about how great your cat is but it is not nice to put another cat down especially when the owner is your friend and you are a guest in the house.
Your Jericho is a sweet boy. I think he knows Steve does not like him and he is trying to make friends in his own way.

Right now, you are handling it pretty okay. Steve is only talking and he may not even realize he is being rude (or he is so dense he is not taking the hint in your responses to his comments). I am curious though why he keeps on going to your house if Jericho is such a "horrible" cat.
I would treat Steve the way I would a new cat - with patience

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well he knows it makes us mad because i will eventually say "EASY NOW! watch what you say about him" and he usually says oh im just kidding, hes a cute cat..but then theres still always that "not as cute as milo" comment afterwards. we try to just turn it into a laugh and talk about how much of an acrobate and high flyer jericho is (because steve and my bf are obsessed with wrestling). but if he keeps it up the next time hes over im gonna be just as rude.

this kid has gotten on my nerves more than a few times but hte jericho stuff is what really irkes me. although last week he told me that hes never seen me be nice to my boyfriend and i treat him like my servant and just make him do everything for me...which is COMPLETE bs. this dude doesnt know crap about me, my relationship, or even my boyfriend really..he just makes assumptions (idk where he is all the nights i cook dinner, prepare the plates, and SERVE my bf his food and drink so htat he doesnt have to move off the couch..but whatev lol). either way..hes in for a rude awakening if he cant learn to keep his comments to himself

it sounds like this clown has deeper issues than just criticizing your baby. He might just be an a** and there's nothing you can do but ignore him. He might enjoy pressing your buttons. I wouldn't give him the satisfaction.I'd calmly let him know that IF Jericho's behavior bothers him so much he doesn't HAVE to come by anymore. Regardless, good luck.

Originally Posted by Natalie_ca

Just laugh and say "Cats, like people, all have different personalities. What a boring world it would be iif every living creature looked and acted the same!"

Or you can laugh and say "Yep! He's my A.D.D. kitty and I love him to bits!"

In either case, go and hug and smooch your adorable, playful kitty who obviously loves you so very much judging by the pictures of him in your profile!

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Originally Posted by Bellaandme

it sounds like this clown has deeper issues than just criticizing your baby. He might just be an a** and there's nothing you can do but ignore him. He might enjoy pressing your buttons. I wouldn't give him the satisfaction.I'd calmly let him know that IF Jericho's behavior bothers him so much he doesn't HAVE to come by anymore. Regardless, good luck.

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just an immature obnoxious jerk who enjoys pushing your buttons. Does he even really have a kitten?

Why should you care what he thinks? Ignore the comments.

I would probably want to say "If you don't like him, don't come, it's his house not yours". but that, again, would just be feeding into his obnoxious behavior.

Bletch. I'd tell the boyfriend he's not welcome if he bothers you that much. Why isn't he home playing with his own kitten?

I wouldn't let him back in the house if he has to compare the cats like that!

My mother is constantly pointing out the things these kittens do, that Lynxx would never have done I just keep my mouth shut. It's just easier that way, otherwise it will turn into a big fight.

I get this from cat-owning coworkers who I know mean well, but it does get tiring to always hear:
"it must be so strange to have a cat with no.. (ear, eye, tail, etc)" or "not that you'd know since you don't have a whole cat in your entire crew."

I usually just respond that "It's not strange at all, and that's why they live with me." "A cat is still a cat, even if it's missing bits."

Don't let him push your buttons, and turn the tables around on him. Go on and on about how cool Jericho is, how awesome he is compared to all the other cats you know, how seriously fun he is compared to all the other cats you know, and how he spices up your life everyday....... and so on.....

Originally Posted by Rosiemac

I wouldn't let him back in the house if he has to compare the cats like that!

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Personally I agree. I've banned more then one person from my house for trashing my cats...My personal opinion is, if you don't like them then don't be here.
One person even had the GALL to tell me if my cat bit him he'd kill him,
Needless to say, he's NOT allowed in this house at all EVER anymore. Sad thing is, he doesn't understand why not...

Originally Posted by My4LLMA

My mother is constantly pointing out the things these kittens do, that

Lynxx

would never have done

I just keep my mouth shut. It's just easier that way, otherwise it will turn into a big fight.

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In my experience, that's how parents are. We were only allowed guinea pigs and hamsters growing up because of my dad's cat dander allergies, and after my first awesome (and best, though I am apologizing to the memory of my other guinea pigs as I write this) guinea pig died, my dad would always compare the new guinea pig with the old one who he was most attached to. Yet, when that one died, he began comparing the new siblings we got to the second guinea pig (and this is just like your situation, we got the new pigs when the second pig was really old, and she died a few months later). Most kids don't realize their parents get attached to pets too (I was actually surprised when my dad was so sad), and I think it's easier for kids to move on to the next pet than it is for parents.



To the OP, that is one of the rudest things I have ever heard. I somewhat have the same thing going on with my cat Memphis, who is very antisocial with new people, and nobody listens when I say, "don't pet him, he'll bite you," so they all try to pet him and get swatted or nipped (gently). It's not as bad as your situation, since they compare him to the show-stopping performer/champion cuddler that is Tails, but I still don't like hearing a negative comment about how mean my cat is, especially when I warn them. Sometimes I take it as a compliment though, because that means I have a cat whose affection isn't easily won over, and that makes his affection toward me feel extra special.

I would tell this person that you know he's joking, but you do not find it funny, especially when it is this incessant. Anyone with any remnant of a conscience will stop a 'harmless joke' if someone voices a serious objection (i.e. DON'T laugh it off. tell him point blank, no smiles, that he needs to stop). Tell him you could laugh it off up to a point, but if he were really joking then the barrage of comparisons would end eventually, which it hasn't. He has to find some joy in that beyond being funny (maybe he feels he needs to compare things in his life with those in others' to "come out ahead"), or it wouldn't carry over to every visit.

Honestly, that is so rude I am confused by how anyone could think that is appropriate. Tell him to get some reference of a situation before commenting, as this seems to be a theme in his judgementality. Tell him he hasn't been around your cat enough to judge him the same way he hasn't seen enough of your relationship with your BF to comment, so he should butt the *insert appropriate explicative* out if all he's going to do is infect you with negativity like a parasite. Of course, those comments are reserved for if he really really raises your ire one day.

Originally Posted by Ms. Freya

I get this from cat-owning coworkers who I know mean well, but it does get tiring to always hear:
"it must be so strange to have a cat with no.. (ear, eye, tail, etc)" or "not that you'd know since you don't have a whole cat in your entire crew."

I usually just respond that "It's not strange at all, and that's why they live with me." "A cat is still a cat, even if it's missing bits."

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This really irks me. It doesn't matter that a cat is missing a tail, foot, eye or whatever. Dusty's tail is malformed, but I love her to pieces. Would they tell that to a co-worker that had a CHILD that was blind, deaf or paralized? I don't think so.

To the OP, Steve is just being rude. When the girls were kittens, they would play with anything that moved or didn't move. My DH's feet were always scratched up because of their playing. Kittens play, period. His kitten must be so afraid to play if he "trains" him not to play. I wonder what he did to the poor kitten where it wont play!

Originally Posted by Ms. Freya

I get this from cat-owning coworkers who I know mean well, but it does get tiring to always hear:
"it must be so strange to have a cat with no.. (ear, eye, tail, etc)" or "not that you'd know since you don't have a whole cat in your entire crew."

I usually just respond that "It's not strange at all, and that's why they live with me." "A cat is still a cat, even if it's missing bits."

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jeeeeez, i thought i had it bad. i would probably quite a job with coworkers like that! it makes no sense to me how someone can love their own cat so much but have no empathy or compassion for any other cat or any friends cat.

i plan on being a little more stern with steve.
unfortunatley i really cant tell him to not come over anymore, mainly because my boyfriend has very bad anxiety and ocd and has lost a lot of friends because he doesnt like to go out or be around large groups of people or people he doesnt know and steve is one of 2 people that will actually come over here so they can see matt instead of getting mad at him and ignoring him because he wont go to the bar or to a concert. i just couldnt see taking one of his only friends away from him. but like i said i do plan on being more serious with the way i tell him to stop talking about jericho..we shall see if he gets it or not. if he doesnt then there will be a serious talk had with my bf about the issue

Originally Posted by Catkiki

To the OP, Steve is just being rude. When the girls were kittens, they would play with anything that moved or didn't move. My DH's feet were always scratched up because of their playing. Kittens play, period. His kitten must be so afraid to play if he "trains" him not to play. I wonder what he did to the poor kitten where it wont play!

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my boyfriend did finally meet milo and says that hes a sweet cat but verrrrrry lazy and could care less about anyone else and just wants to sleep. milo is 10 months old, a month older than jericho, and is still very much a kitten IMO. i just think that his personality is different and steve even said that he was never a really playful kitten, even when very young, hed much rather lounge and relax. jericho is just so opposite, hes always been a handful and we call him our wild man for a reason!
but (!) milo is not as affectionate towards steve as jericho is us..at all. he sleeps with him or will lay on the couch next to him but he doesnt nuzzle or head bump or rub all over steve like jericho does to us all the time.
id prefer a wild kitty that will stop and love on us a ton over a chill cat that just wants to be left alone. but milo fits steves lifstyle and jericho fits ours. and i guarantee that friends dont go over to steves and spend the whole visit laughing and being entertained by silly antics like they do when they come around jericho...because he is such a hoot to be around!

RiffxRaff, I think that both you and Steve love your kitties very much, so you have some common ground there. I think that since his comments bother you so much you should have a little heart-to-heart and tell him that it hurts your feelings, so please stop.

I have to say though, I don't share the opinions of most of the others here. Unless Steve's tone of voice was mean or angry, which is impossible to know from what you posted, I can't say for sure he was being rude. He might mean it as playful banter. "My kitty's better than your kitty."

As for Steve saying that he's "never seen me be nice to my boyfriend and i treat him like my servant and just make him do everything for me" --- it totally sounds like he's joking.

Just my take on it. I could be completely wrong, but we all think we have the best cats, right?

Originally Posted by RiffxRaff

jeeeeez, i thought i had it bad. i would probably quite a job with coworkers like that! it makes no sense to me how someone can love their own cat so much but have no empathy or compassion for any other cat or any friends cat.

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Fortunately the one who was the worst for it got transfered to another location and most of the others are in a different department...most of my immediate team have rescues so they just smile at my cat pics.