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I've been thinking ....

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* I was thinking about that status symbol of today - those pagers that everyone has clipped on. I can't afford one, so I'm wearing my garage door opener.

* You know, I spent a fortune on deodorant before I realized that people didn't like me anyway.

* I was thinking about old age and decided that it's when you still have something on the ball ... but, you're just too tired to bounce it.

* I've been giving some thought to making a movie for folks my age and calling it, "Pumping Rust"

* I must confess that I now have that dreaded furniture disease .... you know the one ..... when your chest is falling into your drawers.

* Employment application blanks always ask who is to be notified in case of an emergency. How about .... A Good Doctor!

* Why do they put pictures of criminals up on the wall in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do ..... write to these crooks? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps? That way, the mailmen could be keepng an eye out for them while they go about their daily job of delivering mail.

* I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older, and then it dawned on me . . . they're cramming for their finals.
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