Tacky?

In December I posted about having taken on a rescue cat as a companion to my kitty.

We had a pretty bad experience with the rescue. Later, after many follow ups with the rescue they all but admitted lying about this girl's personality - and the founder of the rescue said it was a mistake having placed her with us in the first place. they offered to "replace" her with another more appropriate cat - but we decided not to work with this rescue again, and returned the cat back to them (along with a sizeable donation for her future care until a new home is found).

Anyway - the reason for my question is - would it be tacky to reach out to the rescue just to see how she is doing? I grew pretty attached to her, and do still very much care about her well being. I'd love to know if she's been adopted, if she's being worked with in her foster home, etc. I didn't end things with the rescue very well as the whole situation left a very bad taste in my mouth. But, that doesn't change my concern for this poor cat who has been shuffled from home to home as a result of the rescue inaccurately portraying her to adopters. What are your thoughts? Should I just leave well enough alone?

I think it's really sweet of you to adopt this cat and to give her back with a donation. That's beyond what most people would do in your situation where you had clearly been mislead.

I don't think it would be tacky of you to contact them as you are genuinely concerned about her welfare.

On the other hand, I wonder what you would do knowing about her current welfare. It would be wonderful if she was adopted into a permanent home but if she were not adopted yet... that might just leave a sadder note for you. It's not like it's an option to take her home.

But if you cannot live without knowing, just make the call. The worst thing that can happen is that the rescue worker who speaks to you is rude. There's little risk in that! I hope she found her forever home and she's doing great! Don't feel guilty. It wasn't meant to be and you did your very best by her.

I do feel so bad for this poor kitty. But feelings of mine don't really change anything for her current situation.
If you only had her in December that isn't really a long time ago.
If she still isn't adopted or has been adopted and returned yet again what would you do with that information?

The group may have a web site/petfinder may want to check up on that first to see if listed as placed.

I personally have made the call to find out about a neighbors dog but very different-that was at a public kill shelter and I needed to know-figured she would be euthed cause age/size/breed....and depression from missing her dad.

I don't think it would be tacky, but maybe a bit awkward. But hey, that's life. I don't know the story behind everything but not every animal is for everyone. I think it's great that you still care what happens to her so I would make the call, or send an email (that might be easier for everyone). But, I also would like to know, if she's still not adopted or in a foster home, how will you feel?

Thanks everyone for your response!
Coco & Calico - you make a good point. I don't know what I'd actually do with the info or how I'd feel if she still isn't in a home. Maybe I should give it a little more time before I make the call. Maybe I'll do it in late March - giving it about 3 months since she went back.

I checked petfinder and it hasn't been updated since before I got her. I guess that means she still hasn't been adopted if her petfinder add is still up?
Maybe I should wait, as I am feeling a bit emotional thinking about her still being without a forever home.

Since you brought it up now I am curious. What was so wrong that you gave her back to the rescue after such a short amount of time, even knowing her history?

I do understand being confused and not getting what you thought you had picked out. I paid a lot for a dog and requested a certain temperament. That temperament was so important to me. I did not get that temperament and the dog also had a health issue that I wasn't anticipating, but once the dog was here sending the dog back was way out of the question Maybe I am just a sucker

Originally Posted by cococat

Since you brought it up now I am curious. What was so wrong that you gave her back to the rescue after such a short amount of time, even knowing her history?

I do understand being confused and not getting what you thought you had picked out. I paid a lot for a dog and requested a certain temperament. That temperament was so important to me. I did not get that temperament and the dog also had a health issue that I wasn't anticipating, but once the dog was here sending the dog back was way out of the question

Maybe I am just a sucker

Click to expand...

The cat did not fit in at all with the resident cat, and the shelter knew beforehand that the personalities were very different (resident was a ball of energy, the new cat was very shy and unenergetic).

Exactly what Rad said! Brevity isn't my strong point, so thank you Rad for summing up so quickly what would have taken me at least 6 paragraphs!

Of course, if you are interested in my looong version, I did a thread about it here around December, I'm sure you can do a search on my name and it's the thread with a title about "disloyal rescue".

I don't think there is anything wrong with calling to check up on her. You'll always wonder if you don't.

Well, I spoke to the rescue worker today (the same one who placed LG with me originally) to find out how she was doing..

Not so great news, and in fact - I'm pretty annoyed at the rescue (again).

They told me LG went to a new home, and was returned (again, this is her 5th or 6th home). The reason WHY she was returned you may be wondering? Because she began urinating and defecating all over the house because the kids (both under 8) were chasing her.

What aggravates me is, the last time I spoke to the rescue worker, and the owner of the rescue, they assured me that next time they place her, it will be in the QUIET home she needs. We spoke at length about her personality and how she really isn't meant to be in an active household. She can't thrive there and gain confidence.
She does NOT trust humans, and rightfully so. At this point, this poor girl must be so confused constantly being shuttled from home to home. I just cannot believe they keep setting this poor girl up for failure.

I've emailed the owner of the rescue inquiring why this happened. And, I know - this really isn't my business. But, I really feel like this rescue has done this girl wrong on so many occassions and SOMEONE has to look out for her. It's NOT fair on her that they keep placing her into homes that she is destined to not fit into. She needs a quiet, VERY patient home. Not a home with two young children who constantly want to play with her and chase her.

I really think it is the rescue worker, and not the actual rescue who is doing this. I think she tells her story, and tugs on the heart strings of anyone who will take her.

For those of you familiar with rescue, and in the rescue world - is it typical that ONE worker in particular be assigned to certain cats to find homes for? How does it normally work? Could it be that the RW just feels sorry for LG and wants her to find a home so badly she is willing to place her anywhere?

IMO no one could claim to care about this cat and do that to her. They know full well that this cat can't handle certain homes but completely disregard that knowledge.
I wonder if instead this person just wants credit for making adoptions no matter how inappropriate they are?

Do you happen to know anyone in that your area that works, doesn't have a house full of people, or other cats/dogs that could possibly go adopt her? If not, maybe you could try sharing her petfinder page here, and on facebook if you have it, with a better description of her temperament and needs? Maybe someone has the perfect home for her.

I'm sure they think that her actual temperament may discourage people, but then nothing is accomplished by lying.

This poor cat, in and out of homes and back to the shelter. I have heard of this with a few rescues near me with a cat that was in a hoarder situation and always used carpeting to pee on. She never liked to use the litter box, but the rescue told prospective adoptors that she was totally litter box trained. The poor cat kept getting returned. I suggested that people just fill the litter box with pieces of carpeting and slowly add litter. The cat started using a litter box in her foster home and has since been adopted. I sure hope someone can get to the bottom of her issues. It does this cat no good for the rescue not to be up front about her issues. I am sure this is hard on you worrying about this kitty

Well, I finally have some good news about LG.

I spoke with the owner of the rescue, and she agrees that this poor girl has been through a lot. She is an older woman with grown children and calm older cats. She is going to adopt LG!!

She has a load of experience with cats, and we both think she could be just what LG needs. LG seems to get along well with older cats, so I'm really hoping this is her happy ending!!! '

Please join me in sending loads of to LG and her new home!

Wow, that's quite the story. Poor little LG. I hope she will find peace in the rescue owner's home!

I can't understand why they would lie to people about the temperament of an animal just to get it adopted, and then to get it returned. You would think they want the animal to go to a good home and stay there so they have room to help another animal!

When we adopted Dot, I actually read in 2 places in her notes sheet that she didn't get along with other cats. I asked the shelter people several times about that, and they assured me that those were written when they first moved her from a cage into the cat colony, and that she gets along just fine with other cats now. So then I figured, well, why would they lie? They want the cat to go home and stay home and be happy, right? Well I guess in your rescue's case, that's not always true. But it did turn out well for us.